Casually Being Muggle
by GoogleyEyes
Summary: When Sarah Kingston is unexpectedly and accidentally kidnapped by a band of redheaded 'wizards', the last thing she expected was to end up tangled in the war against the dark 'wizard' You Know Who. And she most certainly did not expect to fall for one of her redheaded captures. But how can she, a muggle, help them save their world? - Story begins a few weeks before Bill's wedding
1. Chapter 1

The early morning sky was a soft blue with the smallest spattering of fluffy, cotton-wool clouds and despite the early hour, I could already feel the warmth of the sun on my face as I sat on the park bench. It seemed to be promising to be a glorious summers day, which left me in a happy mood, despite the reason I was here in the park in the first place.

I glanced at my watch and sighed; 8:27 am. I had set my alarm to wake me up earlier than usual because I had planned on spending the day getting some of my mounting college work done. My summer assignments had been hanging over my head the last few weeks and I had been deliberately avoiding them, implementing my usual philosophy of procrastinating until the very last minute.

I couldn't really afford to continue that way, however. I had been given a huge summer project due at the end of August when I returned to college and I hadn't even started. I had to write six essays of 10,000 words each on six prominent poets between the years of 1500 and 2000. So, I had dragged myself out of my gloriously cosy bed and into into the watery sunshine of an early-July morning.

I exited my tiny apartment with a backpack slung over one shoulder, a massive polka-dot mug of milky tea in one hand a piece of toast slathered in peanut butter in the other and set off towards my favourite place to get things done – a stone bench at the back of the local park. I spent hours there almost every day, listening to music, scribbling down stories, sometimes even working on school work, like today. Though it wasn't usual for me to be out so early.

I had set myself up on the bench with a pile of textbooks, writing paper, pens and general schooly things to my left, while on my right only my cup of tea sat steaming away, taking pride of place. I had an A4 paper pad on my knee and a pen poised above it, ready to write down my insights into the life and work of Lord Byron – the essay I had chosen to tackle first. I was studying English Lit. in college and loving it, I just hated the endless supply of work.

After twenty minutes, I had gotten as far as writing the title at the top of my page. This was going to be a looong day.

I sighed again and glanced around. There was no one else in this section of the park. I had seen a couple of joggers as I followed the meandering path to this particular bench but no one came past me here. It gave the bench a sort of isolated tranquillity that I liked.

I looked down at my page again. I knew I had to get this done sooner or later. I would have preferred if it could have waited till later but I had five more of these to do in less than two months. In that moment, two months sounded like a very long time but I knew that every one of these essays would be just as painful to write and would take just as long. I only hoped that I would be able to get half of the Lord Byron one done before my brain shut down and insisted that I go back inside and do something far less mind numbing.

I was just riffling through my stack of notes, looking for a good opening line, when I was distracted yet again. This time it was a drop-dead-gorgeous blond woman running down the path towards me shouting at me in a french accent.

"Please, 'elp me! My fiancé 'as fainted! I s'ink he is ill!" She run right up to me, grabbed my hand and started to drag me off the bench. "Come quick! Please, 'elp us!"

At first I was so startled to have a frantic Frenchwoman running at me that it took me a minute to register what she was saying to me. She was truly one of the prettiest girls I had seen in my life. She was around my age and she looked like one of those airbrushed models from magazine ad had stepped off the page and was standing in front of me. She has long, silky, silver-blond hair and perfect skin.

It took me a few seconds to recover from my surprise at her dragging me along with her but as soon as I grasped the idea of her sick fiancé, I began to run beside her willingly. She didn't need to drag me anymore but she kept a hold of my wrist anyway.

She led me into a clump of trees just down the path from my bench. It didn't occur to me to be suspicious until I had run straight into the clump with this stranger. My pace faltered a bit as doubt crept into my mind and I think she noticed. Her grip tightened and she spoke again.

"I s'ink he is very ill, come quick!" She wouldn't look at me; she kept her eyes focused straight ahead.

It only took a few seconds before I could see the form of someone lying on the ground in front of us.

He was sprawled out as though he really had just collapsed out of the blue, I noticed with relief. At least he wasn't waiting to ambush me with a baseball bat and a body bag.

As we got closer, I took in his rather distinctive appearance. He, too, was a similar age to me and very good looking, that was immediately very obvious, but he had a massive scar on one side of his face. His flaming red hair was long, it probably went past his shoulders but he had it tied in a low ponytail so I couldn't really tell. He also had an earring with what looked like a huge animal tooth on it. He put me in mind of people I'd seen at rock concerts.

I reached him first and dropped to my knees at his side. His beautiful fiancé stood a little behind me, watching. I shook his shoulder and tried to talk to him but he wasn't replying. I was no medical expert but all of my experience with tv programs told me that unresponsiveness was definitely not good.

I was convinced that we needed an ambulance. I turned to say this to the blond girl when I saw him move in the corner of my eye. I whipped my head back around to look at him but I wasn't quick enough.

I felt his fingers clamp on my wrist and I barely saw him flick a wooden stick before the weirdest sensation came over me. The trees and the park vanished, as well as the air around me. I felt like a giant hand had wrapped around my entire body and was squeezing the life out of me, smothering me. I was only barely aware of the man that was still clasping my wrist as I was being squeezed.

I wondered if I was having a heart attack or something crazy. Maybe he had poked me with a needle and I hadn't noticed and he's pumped me full of drugs! With that thought, I became convinced that I had just been abducted by two junkies and I would now be sold into sex trafficking. This day had not started out well.

Then, almost as soon as it had begun, it had stopped. I felt air rush back in to fill my empty lungs and my mind was mercifully clear. I opened my eyes to confront these two strangers and get away as quickly as I could- except what I saw was not the trees of the park. Instead, I was kneeling in a shabby kitchen beside the redhaired man, surrounded by three more redheaded strangers.

I swore internally as I realised that I had just been kidnapped.


	2. Chapter 2

I was totally and completely flabberghasted. Somehow, I had been transported in exactly the same position to a completely different location. I was also beginning to feel terror creeping into my stomach and up my throat as I surveyed my new surroundings. There were three more redhaired people standing in the shabby kitchen with us, a plump, friendly looking woman, and two men, a tall middle-aged one and a short and burly young one.

No sooner had I registered these three than I spotted another man waiting in the very cluttered adjoining living area that had a dining table and a few couches among other things. He was different to the others in the way that his hair was not red, instead it was a faded brown colour. He, too, seemed to be middle-aged, maybe a little younger than the other man but he looked to be either completely exhausted or very, very sick. He had bags under his eyes and his skin was very pale looking. He was staring at me exactly the same way as the others, though – like I was some sort of explosive devise about to go off.

Then, I noticed that all five people – including the guy from the park – were holding what appeared to be wooden sticks, just like what I had seen Mr Park Guy wave before we were transported.

It had taken me only a few seconds to drink in all this information. No one moved an inch, like we were all waiting for some kind of signal. Suddenly, there was a gigantic cracking sound somewhere behind me and my head whipped around, expecting to see someone brandishing a gun. Instead, I saw the blond girl from the park had apeared. She, too, had a stick in her hand. It was quickly dawning on me that these were not ordinary sticks...

No one moved or spoke for a few seconds. We all just looked at each other. Each one of their eyes were fixed on me, waiting for me to say something and I stared up at them, waiting for one of _them_ to speak. The seconds ticked by.

The plump woman was the first to break the silence.

"Don't worry, dear, we won't hurt you." She spoke slowly and carefully, sounding kind and sincere, but I was reluctant to trust her, seeing as she and her cronies had just kidnapped me. "We just want to have a word with you about something very important. My name it Molly Wesley. How about we get you some breakfast?"

She moved slowly towards me, as though to help me up off the floor. Something about her movement snapped my brain back into action, as though she reminded me that I, too, was capable of moving.

I could see a door between the three people in front of me and the man standing in the living room. I made that my target as I leapt to my feet and jumped over Mr Park Guy who was still sitting in an upright position on the floor. His arms flailed to grab me but I dodged out of his reach and pushed past Molly before she had time to react.

I ran towards the door but I wasn't quick enough to get past the burly one. He had hurled himself in front of me and I slammed into his chest where he wrapped his muscular arms around me, imprisoning me in his grasp. He was only about an inch taller than me but he was way, way stronger. I squirmed and fought to get free with every ounce of energy I had but his grip was too tight, I couldn't get loose.

I could hear the others scrambling around behind me, trying to decide what to do.

"It's ok, we won't hurt you!" Molly was imploring at my side. "Just calm down and let us explain!"

"She is wild!" I heard the French girl exclaim.

"Stun her!" The man who was restraining me grunted through gritted teeth. I heard the words but I didn't understand. "Somebody stun her!"

I heard Molly protest at the same time as I heard a man's voice say strange words in a foreign language.

Suddenly, my whole body seized up. My arms snapped to my sided and my legs clamped together. I became completely immobile and still in the arms of my restrainer. The only thing that I could move was my eyes. They roved around in my head, trying to spot a way out of this mess, like they expected to see a giant button that said 'press here to escape!'

"Thanks, Remus." Said the man holding me, with a sigh.

"I decided it was better to body-bind her than stun her." A tired but gentle voice said. I immediately linked it to the tired man in the living room. "That way we can talk to her reasonabley."

"If she'll listen to us." Another voice said with a hint of sarcasm. I thought it sounded too youthful to be either of the older men. I decided it must be Mr Park Guy.

"Don't hurt her!" Molly fretted over my shoulder.

"She's alright, Molly" This voice had to belong to the middle-aged redhead. He was the only one who hadn't spoken yet and I didn't recognise this voice.

"Bring her in here, Charlie. Put her on the couch" Remus suggested mildly.

The man holding me grunted in assent. He must be named Charlie. He picked me up around the middle and carried me like a marble statue over to where Remus stood then bent over to flop me onto a two-seater sofa with my back propped up against the cushions so I could see the room. My feet and calves hung over the end.

Charlie perched on the edge of a low coffee table in front of me, still watching me, ready to grab me if I tried to run for it again - as if I could. I noticed how blue his eyes were. He must be the brother of Mr Park Guy. They looked so similar. The other one was more classically handsome but Charlie had more rouge-ish good looks.

It was obvious that he had spent a great deal of time outside. The freckles on her face were so big and numerous they almost blended into one seamless tan except that they varied somewhat in colour. His fingers and hands were rough and callused and his wide shoulders and thick arms which gave him the aura of strength.

I stared him straight in the eyes, trying to telepathically communicate my displeasure at being manhandled and kept against my will. There was the ghost of a smirk on his face and I think he understood.

I could see the man and woman from the park sit into another couch to my right. He slung and arm around her casually and she snuggled into his side. They were both staring at me but she was looking sceptical whereas he just looked curious.

Remus came to stand a little behind Charlie on the left. The other older man sat down on the coffee table beside Charlie and again, I noticed a resemblance. Maybe he was the father of the two boys?

Molly hovered in the background looking uncomfortable.

"Hello, Sarah, my name is Arthur Weasley." How the _hell _did he know my name? I was getting seriously freaked out – something weird was going on her and I didn't like it.

"This is Charlie, my son," Arthur continued, gesturing at the people as he introduced them. "That is Remus Lupin, Bill, another one of my sons, his fiancé Fleur and my wife, who you already know. Firstly, I'm very sorry that we had to put you through this. We didn't want to hurt or alarm you but It's just very important that we get some information about a very difficult topic and we think you can help us.

"But before we can get to that, its probably best if you understand a little bit about our world." He was talking slowly and cautiously to me but in a very matter of fact tone. Like a doctor explaining a complicated illness to a young child.

"Oh, Arthur, she looks so uncomfortable!" Molly piped in before he could go on.

Everyone looked back at her except Charlie. He stayed fixed on me.

"Yeah, dad, unfreeze her. If she tries to run again, we can just recast the spell." It was Bill who spoke.

Arthur surveyed me for a second then said "Very well" and waved his stick.

A shot of faint light came out of the tip of it and spurted towards me. I would feel my limbs loosening like ice thawing rapidly. My body slumped into the couch and I knew I could move again. I sat up cautiously, not taking my eyes off of the two men sitting in front of me.

"There, that's better." Molly said as she gave me a weak smile.

"Where am I?" I demanded.

"You are in our home." Arthur replied without the slightest hint of nervousness.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"I already told you, we think you can help us with a problem we have." He stared me down, determined not to break eye cantact. He wanted me to believe him, I could feel it radiating from his very pours. It was then that I started to accept that they might possibely be telling the truth when they said they didn't want to hurt me.

"You used magic." The words leapt out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop them.

"Yes, I'm a wizard. Everyone here is either a wizard or a witch. Are you frightened?" He was taking in every minuscule movement I made, trying to gage my reaction. Everyone in the room was tense, as though expecting a radical reaction. But they needn't have worried. I had figure it out – I was still sleeping. I was going to sit back and enjoy this dream, just like all my other dreams.

"No." I answered truthfully, because in that moment of realization my fear had disappeared.

Fleur's eyebrows shot up in disdainful surprise, but the rest of them either didn't react at all or hid their reactions completely.

"I don't think she believes you." Said Charlie, perceptively.

"Or she doesn't think this is real." Added Remus, as casual as anything. He gave me a small smile. "I assure you, this is not a dream. You are truly sitting in a room full of truly magical people."

"The wizarding community lives in secret." Arthur began again. "We are not allowed to reveal ourselves to the muggle community- that is to say, the non-magical community. That is why you didn't know about us before now. Some of us live among muggles, some of us chose to live among magical people only, but we all perform magic with magic wands, just like you saw me do." He hesitated. "Do you understand?"

"Yes." I said with a tiny smirk. This was a really interesting dream.

"No, she doesn't." Charlie contradicted me again. He was scrutinizing me intently. "You're not dreaming, or hallucinating or making this up in any way... ok?" He was firmer than any of the others, but not unkind, fixing me with his blue eyed stare.

There was so much sincerity there that I almost started to believe him. Almost.

But then I remembered that they were trying to convince that _magic _ was _real. _And that was impossible. Wasn't it?

* * *

Reviews would be greatly appreciated! :D


	3. Chapter 3

Charlie was still watching me at me, trying to measure my reaction and get me to believe that I wasn't dreaming. My dream characters had never tried so hard to make me believe I was experiencing reality. Doubt started to trickle into my mind as the seconds stretched out, and as my mind considered that he might be telling me the truth.

As that thought built itself up in my head, panic started to creep in, too. If I really was sitting in a room full of _wizards_ than I was in deep doodoo.

"I don't believe you." I tried to say to him but my voice lacked any confidence or conviction. It didn't fool any of them.

"Look." Charlie waved his wand. A book from one of the many surfaces in this room lifted into the air and twirled around rapidly. I stared at it dubiously.

Charlie kept glancing between me and the book. He saw my scepticism and stopped the book twirling and made it float towards me. It landed in my lap. I read the title; '_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them'._ I opened it at a random page and saw an illustration of the weirdest looking animal I'd ever seen. The caption underneath read '_hypogriph; see page 46'. _

If anything, the book just increased my doubt. I had seen strange illustrations in childrens books and mythology books and all over. This could just be one of those silly things for children.

"Okay..." I said, humouring them. "So if you're telling me the truth and you really are real wizards and all... What do you want with me?"

"Well, you see, wizards don't always get along peacefully," Arthur resumed his story. He seemed to be the one in charge here. "Not all wizards are good people, some of them do horrible things and start wars. We are in a war now. There is an evil wizard at large at the moment who is murdering hundreds and destroying our world as we know it. He needs to be stopped. And we, as members of an organisation called the Order of the Phoenix are the main group of resistance." This was sounding more and more like a Pixar movie every second.

"So we are trying to gather as much information as possible about this dark wizard. We think you might be able to help us." He paused.

"How? I don't know anything, honestly," I told him.

"Well, we believe your mother may have known this dark wizard. We think she was in an orphanage with him when he was a child."

"What?" I was _really_ confused now.

"We believe they spent some time together in a place called Wool's Orphanage." Arthur spoke as though he knew it to be true, rather than just believed it.

"No." I stated. "No, they can't have. My mother grew up with her parents in Ireland. In Ballyshannon, County Donegal. I have live grandparents, I've met them, I've seen their house. I think you've made a mistake."

My words hung in the air for a second before anyone could process what I was saying. Then, Fleur threw up her hands and exclaimed "Sacrebleu!" while Bill looked as confused as I felt. Molly burst withastonishment, exclaiming several questions. Remus had a calm expression of surprised confusion. Arthur looked like he didn't quite know whether to believe me or not. Charlie's brow furrowed deeply and he continued to stare me.

"Your name is Sarah Kingston?" Arthur asked, flabbergasted.

"Yes." I said

"So you're mother is not Jessica Baumont Kingston?" Arther asked wearily.

"No. Her name is Kathleen." I informed them all.

"So we picked up the wrong Sarah Kingston? What are the chances!" Bill exclaimed, almost laughing.

Charlie smiled and glanced back at his brother, taking his eyes off of me for the first time to share an exasperated look with his friend. It seemed that now I was no longer important to them, he stopped caring. I didn't know why, but that made me a little disappointed.

"Well, this _is_ unexpected." Said Remus, again with that small smile.

"It looks like we've put you through all of this for no reason, Sarah. I am terribely sorry..." Arthur was still looking baffled.

"How anti-climactic." Commented Charlie.

"Bill, you should have double checked!" Molly rounded on her son suddenly sounding very stern.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know there are two Sarah Kingstons? She's the right age, she lives in the right area, I was convinced this was her!" Bill retorted, still half laughing. Fleur was smiling up at Bill but it looked like she was laughing at him laughing, rather than because she thought this was very funny.

"Oh, well at least let me give you breakfast, dear, to make it up to you." Molly turned to me, all smiles and kindness again.

I tried to turn her down, I didn't want to spend any more time with these strangers than I had to but Molly was insistent. In less than five minutes she had covered the dining table in stacks of toast, plates covered in rashers and sausages, black puddings and even a small plate of croissants. There were also boxes of cereal - some I recognised, some I didn't – and jugs of milk and orange juice and two pots of tea.

Everyone stood up and meandered over to the table. I ended up between Charlie and Remus, which I didn't mind, though Charlie still kept shooting me furtive glances as though he still half expected me to runaway. I avoided his eyes as best I could.

I felt very uncomfortable. This kidnapping incident was taking so may strange twists and turns I didn't know how to keep up. It appeared to have suddenly turned into some sort of social visit.

As we all tucked in to the food laid out for us, Remus made a few comments to me about how he hoped my morning hadn't been too disrupted and that sort of thing before getting drawn into a conversation with Fleur- who was on his other side – about breakfasts in France. I was sure the croissants were there simply for her benefit but she ignored them. She ate only a small bowl of cereal and a piece of toast, commenting that she would usually eat fruit in the mornings.

It was only then, as Charlie offered to pour me a cup of tea that I remembered my polka-dot mug and stack of books sitting on the stone bench in the park. I froze, suddenly anxious that my belongings would have disappeared when I got back. Those text books were expensive, and the notes were almost irreplaceable. And I was very fond of that mug.

Charlie had noticed me freeze. He peered into my face.

"Are you ok?" He asked, still holding the teapot poised over my cup.

"I just realised that I left all of my college books on a random bench in a public park..." I didn't know why I had just blurted out the truth like that to him. I looked over into his blue eyes and saw genuine concern.

"Do you want to go get them? I can take you now, if you want?" He put down the teapot and put his hand on the edge of the table, ready to push his chair out. I noticed the half eaten sausages on his plate. They would be stone cold be the time we got back, I was sure.

"No, you can finish your breakfast," I told him. "We can go when we're finished." I picked up my toast and bite into it, trying to come across as casual.

"Really, I don't mind?" Charlie said, still ready to stand up.

"No, honestly, it's ok. Thank you, though." I smiled at him appreciatively.

"Ok, if you're sure..." He replied, not sounding as though he was sure at all, but he wasn't going to press the subject. He continued to eat his food, a little quicker than before.

"...go get Harry from Privet Drive?" My ears pricked at the sound of the familiar place. I suddenly tuned in to Bill and Arthurs conversation opposite me.

"Privet Drive?" I asked. "In Little Whinging?" Half of the table stopped their conversation to look at me.

"Yes...?" Said Arthur. "Do you know it?"

"Yeah," I answered, very surprised. "My Aunt Joan lives there!"

There was dead silence for a second. Then Charlie snorted beside me.

"You're just full of surprises, arn't you?" He said.


	4. Chapter 4

Everyone was looking at me. Bill looked amazed

"Do you know the Durselys?" Asked Arthur.

"Yeah, they live just across the street and down a few houses! They have that horrible kid Dudley and- Oh, and a nephew called Harry! You said Harry, didn't you!" I looked over at Bill. He nodded, looked more and more incredulous and amused.

"Do you know him?" Remus said mildly from beside me.

"No, not really. I've seen him a few times but I don't spend much time there and he goes to boarding school, I think. Why, do you guys know him?"

"Actually, he's our best hope at defeating that dark wizard we were talking about." Piped in Charlie again with a hint of a smile.

"Wha- he's a wizard?!" My eyes bugged out of my head as I looked to Arthur to confirm my suspicion.

"Yes, he is." He was grinning at my shock.

"This just gets weirder and weirder..." I said, shaking my head.

The conversation moved on from that point. I could feel they were all intrigued by this fact but they didn't quite know what to do with the information. I spotted a few looks exchanged between Remus and Arthur but they didn't continue the topic – at least, not in front of me.

Arthur began asking me questions about 'muggle' things such as dishwashers and ice cube machines. He seemed genuinely fascinated with everything I had to tell him. After a rather rigorous interrogation about sewing machines, I excused myself and asked Charlie to show me the way to the bathroom. He led out of the kitchen and down the hall.

The rest of the house was equal shabby and cluttered but it exuded a huge sense of character and I quickly began to love it. Charlie smiled at me after directing me towards a small room under the stair case, and then he walked back down to the kitchen.

A few minutes later, I was heading in the same direction, back down the hall to the kitchen but before I rounded the corner into the room, I stopped. I had heard my name. They were all talking in hushed voices about what they should do with me now.

"Well, we can't just let her go and have done with it..." Molly voice sounded regretful.

"Why not? I don't think she's completely convinced that she's no dreaming. She's no danger." Charlie interjected.

"I think it might be most prudent to modify her memory." Remus.

"I suppose it can't be much harm to do that much..." Arthur spoke as though he was the one who had the responsibility of making a final decision.

"Perhaps she could be useful to us. She's already familiar with Privet Drive, conveniently," Bill piped in. "She could watch out for Harry, make sure there's nothing fishy happening. If the death eaters come for Harry and he doesn't have a chance to contact us, she could do it for him."

"No, she does not know our ways," Fleurs French accent drifted through the door. "She would not know 'ow to contact us."

"I think Fleur has a point." Remus agreed. Fleur made a satisfied noise. "I don't think a ten minute explanation in enough to accustom her with our world."

"I think she could very useful, though." Charlie was still defending the idea. "And how much does she really need to know about our world to watch for weirdoes walking around the area?

"No, she's not ready!" Molly sounded stern again. "She doesn't know enough about us and she is utterly defenceless if the death eaters catch her and use magic. I think we should modify her memory."

"But they're not going to catch her!" Charlie was become more and more adamant. "I think we're passing up an opportunity here, just because we're afraid of the impossible happening. She would just be looking out a window a couple of times a day for a few weeks, not walking around with an 'I love Harry Potter' banner!"

"Molly's right." Arthur agreed with his wife. "I think it's for the best."

I was frozen in the hall. What did 'modifying' my memory involve...?

"I can do it." Charlie said, resigned, after a few seconds silence. "I already said I would take her to get her things."

"Ok, if you want to..." Arthur sounded a little bit suspicious but he let the subject drop.

After a few moments I decided it would be conspicuous if I didn't re-enter the room soon. I took a deep breath and stepped in. Molly avoided my gaze but Remus and Charlie, who were facing the door, both smiled at me. I tried to smile back as though I hadn't just overheard their conversation.

"I can take you to get your books if you want, now, Sarah?" Charlie stood up and stretched.

"Oh. Ok." I didn't really want to leave. To my great astonishment, I realized that I had actually enjoyed this experience – and I wanted to remember it.

"Unless there's something else?" Charlie looked at me inquisitively.

"No, no, I'm ready if you are..." I walked around the table to join him. I noticed both Bill and Arthur were looking at him meaningfully, though both faces read differently. He gave a tiny nod in their general direction and I had no idea which one he had directed it to. Then he turned his attention on me, wrapping his calloused fingers around my wrist.

"Ok?" He asked. I nodded. "Ok."

He pulled his wand out of his pocket and waved it. Again, my surroundings disappeared and there was that awful sensation of being squeezed by a giant hand. I couldn't decide if it was better or worse the second time now that I knew what was coming. Luckily, I also knew the feeling was short lived.

When we arrived at our destination seconds later I saw that he had taken us to the entrance of the park. It was a six foot black iron gate standing wide open with a similar fence all around the perimeter.

"This is it, right?" Charlie looked at me nervously, as though he was afraid he'd brought me to the wrong place.

"Yeah, this is the right place." I gave him a half smile. My stomach was clenching as I waited for him to announce that he was about to modify my memory.

He didn't say anything. Instead, he returned my smile and strolled in to the park. I hesitated for a heartbeat and then fell in to step behind him. He only made it about a dozen strides before he glanced back at me.

"I have no idea where I'm going." He was smiling again. "I think you should be leading."

"Oh, right!" I grinned appreciatively and stepped in front of him. I lead him along the winding path through the grass and past the pond and the playground, right to the very back of the park. As we walked, he talked to me casually.

"So, do you live around here?"

"Yeah, I live in a tiny apartment just around the corner."

"Do you live alone?" His tone was a little too innocent.

"Yeah, there's only really room for one person." I tried to keep any suspicion out of my voice.

"You don't want to move in with your friends, or maybe your boyfriend, to keep you company?"

"I don't have a boyfriend." I shot him a sidelong glance. Why was he so curious about my living conditions? "And I'm happy enough to live alone. It's a cheap place."

"Yeah, I live out in Romania, but I share a place with some co-workers. It can be a pain, though, having to tell them whenever I'm heading out. Do you have to tell anyone if you're heading out or if you suddenly decide to take a spontaneous holiday?" He was trying and failing to be more and more nonchalant but I saw right through it.

"You want me to go to Privet Drive, don't you?" I asked him, stopping dead on the path. "You want me to be you're spy..."


	5. Chapter 5

I looked at Charlie quizzically. He stared right back, searching my face. I was sure that he wanted me to spy on this Harry person.

"I've just trying to figure out if it's possible." He said in a measured tone. "Firstly, would you be up for it?"

I considered. Charlie had said back in the kitchen that all I would need to do was look out a window for a few weeks. He was sure it wouldn't dangerous. But Molly was worried the 'death eaters' would find me. What was a death eater anyway? I had visions of a horrible creature creeping up my stairs in the middle of the night and devouring me alive as I screamed bloody murder.

"What's a death eater?" I blurted out the words before I had thought it through. He looked at me quizzically.

"Someone who supports You Know Who, thats what they call themselves. How do you know that word?" I swore internally.

"I heard you talking while I was out of the room..." I admitted, slightly abashed.

"Oh." A rueful glint came in to his eyes. "So you probably heard us say that we were going to modify your memory. That's why you keep looking at me funny."

"What does that mean, exactly?"

"Well, it's pretty self explanatory. We literally erase some of your memory- not all of it, just the bits about us and wizards. It doesn't hurt."

"So, if I say no, I don't want to be your spy..." I said slowly. "You're going to erase my memory?"

"Well, I'm supposed to." Charlie dropped his gaze onto the ground. "But I haven't decided if I will or not."

"But this You Know Who guy is a murderer?" I continued. I wanted all the information I could get before agreeing to do this.

"Yes." Charlies eyes snapped back up. His expression has become steely and determined. "He and his followers kill and torture for fun. They want to rule our world and wizards are not the only ones who will suffer. Have you noticed the freaky incidents over the last few days? That bridge collapsing randomly? That's Him. The muggle world will be effected too, if he wins. So, we can't let him win."

"And if I help you, I could be helping to- I dunno, bring him to justice?"

"Yes." He smiled. "You could be a big help. It's the little things that matter, in the end."

He waited, gazing at me. I stared right back, right into his clear blue eyes barely an inch above mine, as I thought. I wanted to help, that much was becoming clear to me. But I didn't know if I wanted to help because I believed I should or I wanted to help because Charlie wanted me to.

"Ok, I'm up for it." I finally said. A grin broke over his face and his eyes shone.

"Brilliant."

"But I'll need to go back to my apartment to pack a bag. And it's a three hour taxi ride from here to my aunt's house." Charlie raised one eyebrow at the last part of my sentence and wiggled his wand. I laughed as I remembered he could use magic.

"Will your aunt mind if you just arrive out of the blue?" he asked.

"I can call her before I start packing, but then she won't expect me for at least a few hours." I looked doubtfully at him.

"That's ok, I need to talk to you about a few things first anyway. Come on, we'll go get your stuff from that bench." He put his hand on my elbow and tugged lightly on it to get me to keep walking.

I had completely forgotten about my schoolbooks. I hurried along beside him and rounded the last bend. I could see the bench from here and- I sighed with relief. My stack of books was still there. My backpack was under the bench, just the way I had left it. Even my polka-dot mug was there full the brim of stone cold tea.

I reached the bench and began stuffing my things into my backpack. I heard Charlie come stand behind me and chuckle.

"I like your mug."

"Thanks," I shot over my shoulder then grabbed it, hurled the cold tea into the grass and shoved the now empty mug into a smaller side pocket on my bag. I zipped it all up, slung it over one shoulder and turned to face Charlie. "Ok, let's go!"

We started back down the path and out of the gate. We talked a little about my aunt and my relationship with the Dursleys. I told him I didn't really know them except for the occasional run-in in the shops and that type of thing and I had never spoken a word to Harry himself.

We made it to apartment. As I unlocked the door, I suddenly realised that I was about to let a very attractive man into my home. I silently thanked the lord that I had gone round and picked up all my dirty socks the night before.

I glanced over my shoulder at him as I pushed the door open. He didn't comment on the tiny apartment or it's messy contents, he just took a big breath and said "Let's get to work."

An hour and a half later I was sitting on my couch, waiting. I had packed a suitcase with a week's worth of clothes, as I was sure my Auntie wouldn't object to me using her washing machine. I had phoned her minutes after stepping into the apartment. She was excited but a little confused at my impromptu visit but she told me her spare bed always had clean sheets so I should feel free to drop by whenever I felt like it.

Charlie only stayed long enough to make sure that I was definitely able to stay at my Aunts before he disapperated back to the burrow. He said he had to talk to Bill about a few things but that he would be back.

So, I had got on with the packing. I didn't rush because I knew I had to delay for two or three hours before I could arrive at Auntie Joan's otherwise she would ask questions. Even so, I had all the essentials in a bag before Charlie had been gone an hour.

So I waited.

I put away my college things and tidied around the tiny space as I tried to waste time. In the end, I made a fresh mug of tea and flicked on the television, though my mind was too full to pay any attention to the images flashing across the screen.

I was thinking about wizards. I was thinking how crazy it was to imagine an entire race of people with extraordinary powers hiding for their whole lives because they were afraid of how 'muggles' might react. In fact, I wasn't too sure how I was reacting.

I tried to imagine explaining the wizarding world to some of my closest friends. They wouldn't believe me. They'd think I was dreaming or I was high on something. Part of me was still considering those as possibilities myself.

There was a huge _CRACK_ that ripped through the air and made me jump so violently that I slopped tea all over my jeans. I leapt up and scowled at Charlie who was now standing in the middle of my floor.

"Oh, sorry!" He looked as preoccupied as I felt.

I set the mug down on the low coffee table and walked into the tiny kitchen to get some tissue.

"How did it go?" I called out to him as I tried to mop up the liquid that was seeping through the denim across my thighs.

"Fine." I was surprised by how close his voice sounded. I thought he had been in the other room but I looked over to see him leaning in the doorway. "Bill agrees that this is an opportunity that we shouldn't just let go of. But he recognises the risks."

"Risks? I thought this was safe?" I said straightening up. He looked sheepish.

"Well... I'm not going to lie, Sarah, these arn't the type of people you want to mess around with."

"NOW you tell me!" I said indignantly.

"But you don't really need to worry about them. As long as you keep your head down, they won't even know you exist and you should be safe." He shifted uncomfortably.

"And if they do find out I exist...?" I hardly even wanted to hear the answer.

"That's what I need to talk to you about."

* * *

Please review! :)

I realize that the writing in this story is a little weak but I'm putting that down to the fact that I'm not leaving enough time between the original draft and the editing process :P But I just get too excited when i finish a chapter that I want to post it asap. I really want to get to the end to see how it all pans out!


	6. Chapter 6

Reviews would be greatly appreciated! :D

* * *

"Auntie Joan!" I flung out my arms and wrapped them around the elderly woman as the door of her house opened to greet me.

"Sarah, my love, how are you!" She stroked my hair and pecked me on the cheek as we hugged and then smiled broadly at me when we parted.

She was a very short woman and very old. She was actually my mothers aunt, making her my great aunt but I had called her Auntie Joan for as long as I could remember. Her back was a little stooped and her face was so wrinkly it looked like she'd stuck a huge piece of scrunched up paper over her real face. But her milky brown eyes were kind and her smile was genuine.

"I'm good, Auntie, how are you?" I picked up my suitcase and stepped into her house. It was a lot bigger that it needed to be for one old woman but she still managed to keep it immaculately clean.

"Oh, nothing to complain about, just some creaky bones, you know." She beckoned me into the kitchen where she fed me as many different types of sandwiches and cakes as she could guilt me into eating, all the while telling me about her gardening and her daily routines.

Sooner than I would have liked, we got onto the subject of my visit. She came straight out and asked me why a 'pretty young thing' like myself had come to 'waste away my time with an old codger' like Aunt Joan. I sighed. I hadn't really decided on what I was going to tell her.

"Oh, I just wanted a change of scenery, Auntie. Do I need an excuse to visit my favourite Aunt?"

"Oh, come on, out with it. What's his name?" She pushed the plate of bakewell tarts closer to me.

"Excuse me?" I asked, perplexed.

"I was young once, too, Sarah, my love. I know what men are like. They drive you out of your mind and out of your home! Why else would you give me barely three hours notice? You've obviously just had a breakup." She nodded to herself, wisely. It was her life ambition to see me married, so she clearly thought my own ambitions must revolve around men, too.

"You are ridiculous!" I said with a chuckle. I purposely didn't deny it, though. If she wanted to think that I was pining after a man, so be it. It was better than trying to explain the real reason.

Soon after, I excused myself and carried my case up to the spare room. It was perfectly positioned for the job at hand. It was at the very front of the house with a nice big window that looked out onto the street. It was as though I was always meant to come spy on the Dursleys from here.

I could see number 4 just down the road. Vernon Dursley was just pulling up in his expensive company car. He must be coming home from work. He hauled himself out of the driver's seat and up the drive way to the front door. He unlocked it and vanished inside, none the wiser about me all the way down the street, watching.

I fished in my pocket and pulled out the one thing Charlie had given me. It looked like just an ordinary glass marble with a strip of colour in the centre. At the moment it was a deep blue but Charlie had told me that if I was in danger I was to squeeze it as hard as I could between my thumb and forefinger until it turned red and he would know that I was in trouble and come and help me. He had also explained about owl post and promised to write to me as often as he could but that would be too slow in an emergency.

I rolled the small thing between my fingers before slipping it back in my pocket and turning away from the window. I faced my suitcase that I had abandoned near the doorway and sighed. I crossed over to it, lugged it up onto the bed and began the laborious task of unpacking.

* * *

I received my very first owl letter on the third day. It came early in the morning while I was still asleep. The tiny creature tapped excitedly on the glass until I woke up and let it into the room where it proceeded to whiz around with glee.

It was about the size of a tennis ball and it seemed to have not great skill at flying. It crashed in to walls and furniture every which way it went. It always recovered quickly, however and continued to buzz around the room, hooting at me.

I spent the next five minutes trying to calm it down so that it wouldn't wake up my Aunt. Thankfully, she slept in a side room down stairs these days as her legs weren't really able to walk up and down steps all day anymore, so she was as removed from the source of the noise as she could be.

When I finally convinced it to perch on my bedside table and drink form my glass of water I unrolled a letter from Charlie.

_Hi Sarah,_

_I hope this letter gets to you alright, that owl is completely bonkers. I've never used him before because, as I mentioned, I live in Romania and it belongs to my brother, Ron, but it looks completely unreliable. _

_I haven't felt you squeeze the marble yet so I'm going to assume that you're alive and haven't seen a mountain trolls bashing through the walls of Harry's house, or anything like that. I thought I'd send this letter, anyway, just to make sure._

_How's your Aunt? Is she asking you a lot of questions?_

_Write back soon,_

_Charlie_

I reread the letter a few times. It was short and quick but there was something about the light heartedness of it that was comforting. I agreed with him, the owl did look very unreliable and it was getting restless again so I quickly gathered a pen and a piece of paper and wrote a reply.

_Hi Charlie,_

_You're right, this owl is crazy. I'm just hoping it doesn't wake up my poor Aunt! And yes, Harry and I are fine, not a single 'mountain troll' to be seen, whatever they are._

_My Aunt is fine too, she keeps feeding me, though. You'll come back in three weeks and discover that I've gained half of my current body weight. She assumes that I came to visit her to escape a bad break up so she's not questioning me too much at the moment, I think she's trying to let me 'heal'._

_What do you do in Romania? Are you over there for work or just for the fun of it?_

_Sarah_

I rolled up the paper and tied it to the foot of the owl, the way Charlies letter had been. I stood by the window for a few minutes and watched it fly out of sight over the roofs. I was just about to turn and climb back into bed when something caught my eye.

There was a figure dressed in all black strolling down the street. He paused outside number 4 for a fraction of a second then walked on. I watched as he dipped into the gap between two houses and then he was gone. Disapperated.

I stood there, frozen, for a few more minutes trying to process what I had just seen. It wasn't alarming enough to call Charlie with the marble, for all I knew it could have been someone in that Order of The Phoenix that they had mentioned at the burrow but it was definitely something to think about. I would mention it the next letter to Charlie and see what he thought.

I lay in bed thinking about it for a long time before conceding that I wasn't going to fall back asleep. I got up and got dressed, ready for another day of spying.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, I received a letter in exactly the same manner. The tiny owl tapped at my window until I woke up and let it in. I convinced it to calm down, then I opened up the letter from Charlie.

_Sarah,_

_I never thought about waking up your Aunt, I'm going to see if I can find a better owl. If I can't, I'm afraid we're stuck with this one._

_I'm glad to hear your doing ok. I can't imagine that it's a very exciting job, staring out a window all day. I just want you to know that I appreciate you helping us out like this. _

_I work over in Romania. Actually, I work with dragons, believe it or not! This must be so weird for you, to discover all the things that you thought were just stories are actually real. I hope you don't have some sort of identity crisis!_

_My mother is feeding me everything in the house, too. You might joke about gaining half your body weight but I think I actually might. That woman is definitely overfeeding us! But just for the record, I wouldn't care if you did gain half your body weight._

_Charlie_

My heart stuttered at the last line. I didn't know why but his words made my stomach squirm. My over active imagination translated it into '_I don't care what you look like, you can be fat or skinny or pretty or ugly. It doesn't matter, I like you anyway'. _At that thought, my mouth twisted up into a smile that I couldn't explain.

I wrote my reply quickly, including the part about the man in black, and sent it off with the tiny owl. I looked out the window, waiting to see if there were anymore strangers prowling the streets.

Sure enough, about ten minutes after I sent off the owl, a different man also dressed in black walked past number 4 then disapperated.

I was careful to stand far enough back from the window that I could still see him but it would be difficult for him to spot me.

I was going to have to keep an eye on this situation.

Life continued like that. In the morning I would get a letter. I would write a quick reply and then send it off. Then, I would see a figure in black walk past number 4. Charlie informed me that they weren't members of the Order of The Phoenix, so he was assuming that they were death eaters. In every letter he reminded me to be careful not to be seen. He told me that if I _was_ seen I needed to squeeze the enchanted marble than hide until he arrived. Hiding wouldn't delay a witch or wizard for long, he said, but it might buy him a few minutes.

I looked forward to his letters so much that I started to wake up a couple of minutes before Piqwigeon (the owl) even arrived. My body clock had reset itself in sync with these morning deliveries.

I was getting to learn more about the wizarding world as well as about Charlie. He would usually have to explain a few elements of the wizard culture in order to answer questions which I would have considered normal like what his favourite food was and what he did with his time off. In return, however, I usually had to explain muggle culture as well.

I was glad that we were becoming friends. I felt like the whole experience of being accidentally kidnapped and then let into the wizarding world had somehow detached me from normal people. I would walk into a shop and look around and try to imagine the reactions of everyone around me if I pulled out a wand and performed magic. I wondered if any of them were actually wizards in disguise. I felt like this secret was a backpack weighing me down.

I had come so close to telling Auntie Joan on several occasions about what I had learned, just for someone to confide in. But Charlie had told me on the first day, before he had brought me here that I couldn't let her know. He was already breaking the law by letting _me_ know about wizards and magic. So, every time I felt like I was going to blurt it out, I just retreated upstairs to begin writing the next days letter to Charlie.

Auntie Joan had found one of my half written letters one evening as she was collecting dirty clothes to wash. Thankfully, I had been explaining the muggle game Scrabble to him and I hadn't mentioned anything magical. But this did start her asking me regular questions about this 'Charlie' character.

I always knew when she was about to bring him up because she got this gleam in her eye. No matter how many times I insisted that we were just friends, she remained convinced that he was the one for me. She'd decided that any man who would put in the effort to hand write letters to me must be the kind that would stick around.

She never commented on the fact that no letters to me ever got delivered by postman to the house, however. I think she assumed that I'd worked out a way to sneak them out of the pile of post before she got to it.

Two weeks into my stay, I received an unusually long letter. Charlie was talking about his brother Bill and his fiancé, Fleur, the French girl I remembered from the park. He was complaining about her attitude but trying to balance it out by telling me how in love Bill was and how happy they seemed when they were together.

I had to reread it before I knew how to reply to him. It took me a long time to finally finish my unusually short letter where I tried to be comforting without taking sides. Finally, I sighed, rolled up the paper and walked to the window to let Pigwigieon out.

Perhaps if I hadn't been so distracted, I might have had the foresight to check out the window for the passing deatheater that I surely knew must be there. As it was, it didn't even occur to me that I might need to check if the coast was clear before launching the owl into the morning air.

As Pigwigeon flew away, I looked down to see a burly man dressed completely in black frozen on the pavement below, watching in shock as the owl soared above his head. When the bird had disappeared over the houses his gaze flicked up to my window.

Our eyes met and we stared at each other for what felt like eternity, both thinking the same thing. Only witches and wizards used owls...


	8. Chapter 8

My eyes were locked on the black-robed man standing on the concrete below me. I watched as he digested what he had just seen. Then, his mouth stretched up into a leer and his hand reached for something in his back pocket as he started towards this house.

I dived out of view, my brain swirling with fog. It took me a split second to remember Charlie's instructions. I fumbled in the pockets of the jeans I had been wearing yesterday for the marble. When I found it, it clattered out of my clumsy fingers and I jerked down to scoop it up.

I heard a loud click from downstairs in the hall – the lock on the front door. My panic intensified as I squeezed the marble with every ounce of strength I could muster then I scrambled across the room and into the wardrobe.

I could hear heavy footfall muffled on the carpeted stairs as the deatheater slowly made his way up to my room. My lungs felt like they had collapsed in on themselves as I struggled to breath. How long would it take Charlie to get here? Would he be too late?

The footsteps had reached the landing. The man paused, then proceeded even slower. He carefully stepped into my room and stood there.

"Where are you, pretty?" He mumbled, under his breath. Fear was coursing through my veins like ice water. There was no way Charlie would make it before I was found. What would this man do to me? Charlie had never told me about 'dark' magic...

Then, I heard a loud _crack_ outside the house and footsteps catapulting through the hall and up the stairs.

"Avada Kadacra!" I heard the deep voice of the man in my bedroom cry out at the same time as I heard Charlies voice.

"STUPIFY!" He yelled. There was a thud from the doorway and my heart froze. Which spell had hit it's target? Had the deatheater hurt Charlie?

I wanted to burst out of the wardrobe and see what had happened but at the same time I wanted to stay hidden away from the truth.

"Sarah, are you in here?" Relief hit me like a double decker bus as I heard Charlie call my name. I almost fell out through the wooden doors and onto the carpet at the sound of his voice.

"Charlie!" I yelped in a feeble voice and ran at him. I flung my arms around him For a brief second before jerking away awkwardly. To my surprise, he kept his own arms around my shoulders for a fraction of a second longer before he let me pull away.

"Sarah?!" He said, alarmed. His eyes roved up and down my body. "Are you hurt?"

"No." I managed to keep my voice from shaking. He held my gaze for a few minutes until he was satisfied that I wasn't lying to him.

"What happened?" He asked, Glancing over at the lifeless form in my doorway.

"Well," I sighed and perched on the edge of the bed "He saw me in letting the owl out of the widow and he assumed I was a witch. He burst into the house and- oh my god! AUNTIE JOAN!" I leapt up and vaulted over the body in my doorway. I hurtled down the stairs, through the kitchen to my Aunts room. I flung the door open to find my elderly aunt sitting on her bed, clutching a lamp as though she was going to use it as a weapon.

"Stay away from me- oh, SARAH!" As soon as she saw it was me she dropped the lamp and struggled to her feet. She collapsed in my arms, hugging me tight.

"Are you ok?" We asked in unison. "I'm fine, how are you?" Again, we said in unison.

"What was going on? I heard noises?" Joan pulled away from me to look at my face but she saw something behind me and let out a yelp, pointing.

I whirled around, expecting to see twenty more deatheaters with their wands pointing in our direction.

It was only Charlie. He had followed me downstairs and he was now standing on the other side of the kitchen, waiting.

"No, Auntie, Joan, that's just Charlie! He's fine!" I tried to calm her.

She seemed to recover from the shock very quickly and gave me a sidelong look with the same gleam in her eye that always alerted me to Charlie related questions.

"I'll make tea, shall I? To help us recover from the shock. And you can tell me what happened!" She squeezed my hand and then walked into the kitchen to start boiling the kettle.

"Actually, it's probably better not to hang around..." said Charlie, glancing out of the window. It was no use, however, as the kitchen faced away from the road and all he could see was the back garden.

"Do you think more will come?" I asked, fear creeping back into my stomach.

"Probably not for a few hours, when they realize that their friend hasn't returned yet, but we don't want to be here when they come looking."

"Where should we go?" I began to say but Joan interrupted me.

"Hold on, we should call the police! It sounds like a matter for the authorities."

"Your police won't be able to help us with this. Sarah, can we go to your flat for a little while?" Charlie looked at me imploringly.

"Yeah, of course." I replied.

"Good..." He seemed to be thinking hard. "Go throw your things in a bag. We might not be coming back."

"You better do the same, Joan. Go and put a few things in a bag." I turned to her and tried to encourage her back into her room to pack but she looked stern.

"Just you wait one moment, young lady, why am I being driven out of my own home by some hooligans and this pompus young man who thinks he knows better that the police?!" She crossed her arms and glared across at Charlie who wasn't really listening, he was still thinking.

"_Please_ Aunty," I begged her "Please please just listen to me. I don't have time to explain but there are some very dangerous people involved in this, more dangerous than even I know, so please just pack a bag and come with me so we can explain what's going on!"

She stared at me steadily for a few seconds then pursed her lips and turned to go back into her room where she pulled a bag out from under her bed.

"Thank you!" I called as I darted out of the kitchen and up the stairs to pack my own things. I could hear Charlie following me again at a slower pace.

When I got to the top of the stairs I hesitated. The burly man was still lying in my doorway.

"Here," Charlie brushed past me and dragged the unconscious figure out of my room and into the hall. "When I have you and your Aunt safely out of this place I'll come back and deal with him. I just don't want to leave you in this place without a wizard for the moment." I side stepped around him and in to my room.

"What did you do to him?" I asked, glancing back.

"Oh, I just stunned him." Said Charlie. He was leaning in my doorway now, looking at me. "But he was trying to do a lot worse to me. He shot the killing curse at me." I dropped the bundle of t-shirts I was pulling out of a drawer. I gathered them up quickly as I looked at him in shock.

"You have a killing curse?!"

"Yeah." He said matter of factly. "It's illegal, though. There's no way to deflect it. Usually, if someone fires it at you, you're as good as toast, unless you can dodge it."

"How did you avoid it?" I stopped shoving things into my suitcase to stare at him.

"The railing." He looked over his shoulder at the bars that stood around the stairwell. "I was running up behind it so he couldn't see me properly and I managed to get a good shot." He shrugged as though it wasn't a big deal. I swallowed hard. It was finally dawning on me the severity of what I'd gotten myself into.

"I'm glad you're ok, Charlie." The words slipped out of my mouth. He looked at me for a second, then grinned.

"Yeah, because if I had been killed, he would have found you in seconds. Did you really think the _wardrobe_ was the best place to hide?!"

"Hey, I was under intense pressure!" I tried to suppress a small laugh.

"Whatever, your hiding place was still crap!" He continued to tease me as I finished shoving all of my belongings into my case and when he saw I was struggling to get it closed, he came over and zipped it for me and carried it down the stairs.

"Auntie Joan?" I called as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Yes, my dear, in the kitchen!" I walked in to find her sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of water in her hand and an enormous suitcase by her side.

"Ready to go?" I asked, cheerily.

"Not really, my love, but I don't think waiting any longer will make it easier to leave." Her brow furrowed and she threw a glance out the window at her beautifully kept garden of shrubs and flowers of all kinds.

"It's not forever, Auntie." I promised, walking over the get her case. Before I'd made it to the door, however, Charlie appeared with my bag.

"Ready?" He looked at me.

"Yes, I think so."

"I'm sorry," He suddenly looked over at Joan. "I don't think we've been properly introduced. I've heard a lot about you from Sarah, though. My name is Charlie Weasley." He walked forward with his hand extended.

"Joan Berkley." She squeezed his hand once then let go. The sour look that had come over her face when Charlie had entered the room faded a little. I couldn't help but smirk at his sly charm.

"Ok, well if you wouldn't mind holding this suitcase and taking my hand. You too, Sarah, you can hold that case." I walked over and slipped my hand into his. It felt warm and powerful but rough from all his calluses. I felt heat creep up into my cheeks at his touch and I couldn't explain why.

"Actually, Sarah, could you hold my wrist instead, I have to wave my wand." He looked at me sheepishly.

"Sure!" My hand whipped out of his as though it was red hot. I blushed even worse and I felt regretful that I had to let go of him so soon but I took his wrist, just like he asked, after he had pulled his wand from his pocket.

"What is going o-" I heard Joan's voice begin to say but it was cut off as we were all pulled into what felt like an invisible tube.


	9. Chapter 9

The clock ticked slowly as I twirled a spoon around in my half full mug of lukewarm tea. I was sitting in the kitchen of the Burrow. Molly was pegging clothes up on a clothesline outside, Charlies's various siblings were littered throughout the house and I was here, bored stiff, with nothing to do and no one to talk to.

Two days had passed since our visit from that deatheater in Privet Drive. After Charlie had apperated to my apartment, we both explained the situation to Auntie Joan. It took a long time and more than one demonstration from Charlie to convince her.

When that was over, however, Charlie told me that we needed to get to safety. Charlie was, unfortunately, due back at work in Romania that very evening so he wouldn't be able to stay with us. My heart had sunk at that – I had been hoping to get to spend some time with my new friend.

Joan was easy enough to sort out, she could go and spend a couple of weeks down south with a friend until something more permanent could be worked out.

Me, on the other hand... Charlie was very concerned about the fact that the deatheater had seen my face. He didn't trust that I would really be safe among muggles so the only solution he could think of was to go and stay with his family until he could convince some other wizard or witch to open their home for me.

His concern made my bubble up with suppressed glee. My mind kept flicking back to a moment in my kitchen days ago;

"_I just... want to know that you're safe." _His eyes had been fixed on a point on the wall as his mind had worked through all the possible courses of action. As he said these words, however, the blue irises fell on my face and he looked steely and determined.

I was suddenly aware of how small the kitchen was and how close he was to me. I wanted to lean over and kiss him or hug him or touch him in any way. But before I could gather the courage, he sighed and made some comment about getting Joan to her friend's house as soon as possible and the moment was lost.

I had made him promise to keep writing to me but I hadn't yet received a letter from him and I was growing steadily more disconsolate.

I felt like an idiot for letting myself feel so strongly about a guy I barely even knew. I hadn't even had a proper face to face conversation with him that hadn't been about my safety or the wizarding world.

And I was feeling very lonely. Only three of Charlie's numerous siblings were living at home. His older brother Bill, who I had met, worked for some sort of bank so he wasn't at home often. His fiancé, Fleur, the beautiful blond girl I remembered, floated around the house but I found her intensely irritating. She was so vain and all she wanted to talk about was her upcoming wedding or how boring she found the Burrow to be.

Ron, the youngest boy of the family, was scarcely seen. He spent a lot of time either upstairs in his room or outside. He didn't tend to linger in the family rooms or with the rest of us. I had had very little interaction with him up till now.

Charlies only sister, Ginny, was really very pleasant and we got on well enough. She always made an effort to be nice to me or fill me in on little details of the wizarding world if they came up in conversation at dinner or where ever. I would have quite happily spent my time with her, if I had been given the opportunity, but unfortunately, Fleur irritated Ginny so much that whenever the former was around, the latter seemed to disappear into thin air. And, as Fleur seemed to view me as her personal responsibility since she was the one I met first in the park, she tended to seek me out and engage me in vacuous conversations. So, time spent with Ginny was seldom and far between.

So, I sat, stirring my cold tea, thinking of Charlie's words.

"Hello," Ginny had strolled into the kitchen carrying an empty glass. "What are you doing?" She walked over to the tap and filled her glass with water, talking to me over her shoulder.

"Oh, I was just drinking tea," I said, smiling half heartedly. Ginny looked at me sympathetically.

"It must be difficult, adjusting to all this so quickly." She said and took a seat on the other side of the long table. "But Hermione is arriving tomorrow, so you should be able to talk to her. She was raised by muggles, so you will probably have far more in common with her than with us.

I made an appreciative noise and swallowed a gulp of disgustingly cold tea without thinking, just for something to do with my mouth to excuse me from replying.

"And I think they're going to go get Harry at the end of the week, as well," she continued on. "So the house will get pretty full-"

She was cut off by a scratchy-tapping noise. A noise we both recognised as the sound of od owl tapping at a window.

We both cast our eyes around to see where it was coming from. Ginny spotted the large browny-grey owl first. It was waiting patiently outside the window above the sink. She hopped up and retrieved the letter quickly. She was well used to this sort of thing. She checked the name on the envelope and made a surprised little 'oh' sound.

"It's for you." She walked over and placed the letter down on the wood beside me and sat back down in her seat.

I knew who it was from before Ginny had even read my name. I knew the minute I heard the noise on the glass. Charlie. It had to be.

I pulled it open and scanned down to the bottom of the familiar script. Sure enough, Charlie's name was signed on the bottom.

_Sarah,_

_I know I promised that I would write sooner, sorry, but I've been busy. I hope the family is being nice to you. I'll write again soon._

_Charlie._

I stared at it in shock. All of this build up and anticipation and _that_ is what we sends me?!

"Do you have a pen?" I asked Ginny.

"Um, I think there's a quill here somewhere..." She got up and shuffled though one of the cabinets on the side and came back with a feather quill and an ink bottle.

I turned over Charlies letter and quickly scribbled the words

_Charlie, that letter was a pile of crap and you know it. Write me a real letter or don't write at all._

In my anger and frustration I didn't even bother signing my name. He would understand. I tied it back on to the owls leg and sent it on it's way

I excused myself under the pretext of wanting to take a nap and stomped up the stairs to my borrowed room and slammed the door behind me. All the frustration of being alone in the wizarding world and not understanding most of what happened on a day to day basis and not knowing when I would be able to return to my normal life – it all built up inside my chest in that moment and Charlie's letter stung like some kind of betrayal. Tears oozed out of my eyes as I lay on the bed cursing boys and wizards alike.


	10. Chapter 10

We had just finished breakfast when there was a knock at the door. Everyone, including myself, was well used to visitors dropping in unannounced throughout the day, as the Burrow was the operating head quarters for the Order of the Phoenix.

Molly stood up and went to answer the door. She pulled it open to reveal a girl of about 17 with bushy brown hair and large suitcase.

"Hermione!" Ron exclaimed, leaping up and hurrying over to the door. He gave her a quick, one armed hug, and there was a badly concealed grin on his face. "I thought you weren't arriving till later? Oh, I'll get that!"

She had just stooped to pick up what I had first taken to be a suitcase but Ron's hand shot down to the handle before she could reach it. As he lifted it, I could see that it resembled something more along the lines of a flat topped treasure chest than a suitcase. Hermione smiled at him and thanked him, stepping into the house.

"You've got to ask her a security question, remember, Ron?" Mr Weasley said over his newspaper.

"Oh, blimey, I forgot. Er..." His eyes rolled up to the ceiling as he thought. "Who was our first ever defence against the dark arts teacher?"

"Honestly, Ron, anyone would know that!" She sighed, "Professor Quirrell, and he had You Know Who on hidden under his turban."

" 'Ow 'Orrible!" Fleur called from beside me. " 'Ow did he fit a full grown man under 'is turban?" I thought this was a very good question. Another good question was how did they not notice?

"No," said Bill, who was on her other side. He placed his hand over hers that was resting on the table. "You Know Who was possessing Quirrell and his face was attached to the back of Quirrells head."

My stomach rolled at the image I conjured up in my mind. I saw grotesquely mutated facial features protruding out of a man's scalp, patched of dull and thinning hair scattered around the edges. I shuddered.

"Yes, it was rather horrible," said Hermione, coming to sit in the empty chair beside Ginny. Ron abandoned his previous seat on the other end of the table and dropped into Molly's empty one right beside Hermione.

"Oh! Hello!" Hermione had just caught sight of me and had given a little start.

"Hermione, dear, this is Sarah," said Molly coming over from the sink where she had been bewitching the breakfast dishes to wash themselves. She put a supportive hand on my shoulder as she introduced me. "She will be staying with us for a little while. She's a muggle; so you two should have a lot in common!"

"Oh really!" Hermione quickly schooled her perplexed expression into one of calm interest.

I was saved from having to reply by an owl at the window. It was quite a large one with dark grey feathers and it carried two letters on it's leg.

"Oh, this must be from Charlie!" Molly said as the opened the window and untied the letters. "He said he would write. And he's sent one for you, too, dear, how nice!" She handed me an envelope with my name written across the front.

My stomach did a somersault. I wanted to rip it open and devour the content with my eyes but I didn't have any idea what could be written in this letter or what my reaction might be and I didn't want to wound any of the people sitting around me if I reacted violently – equally I didn't want to freak them out by bursting into tears, or laughing joyously.

I thanked Molly and tucked it into the pocket of my jeans, thinking to myself that if it was as pathetic as the last one, Charlie would have a lot to answer to.

We all sat around the table making small talk for a about ten more minutes before Bill and Fleur stood up, announcing that they were going to go out for the day. Ginny, Ron and Hermione left the table, then. They were going to go and make the most of the good weather. They invited me along but I declined. The letter in my pocket was burning a hole through jeans and I was dying to read it. I told them I would catch up with them later and made my way upstairs.

It took all my composure not to run up to my third floor room. When I finally had the door closed behind me, I sunk down onto the bed and ripped the letter out of the envelope.

_Sarah,_

_Do you remember Remus Lupin from that first day? Well, his parents-in-law say they have a spare room for you. I can bring you there next week, before Harry arrives at the Burrow. Things are going to get pretty busy when he arrives, seeing as the wedding is only a couple of weeks later._

_I checked on your Aunt yesterday. She's fine. She and her friend were way to excited to have a young man in the house. They pressured me into having three whole cups of tea and almost a full plate of homemade scones before I managed to get away._

_I'm really busy at the moment with work so I won't have time to write to you as often as I did. Hopefully I'll be able to send one every few days but it just depends._

_Charlie._

I reread it again. And again. Then, I read it a fourth time. There was something... off. It felt like he was having difficulty writing, like there was something he was hiding. And he didn't even mention the other letter he sent me.

I wasn't sure how to reply. I sat over a blank piece of parchment with a quil in ,y hand for a long time before I finally got the words to come out.

_Charlie,_

_I do remember Remus Lupin. I can move whenever suits you, it doesn't make much of a difference to me._

_I can definitely imagine Auntie Joan chaining you to the chair and force feeding you tea and scones. She most definitely enjoyed it._

_I hope you can keep writing to me, even if it is less regularly. I would miss your letters._

_All is fine here. Ron's friend Hermione just arrived this morning. She seems nice, though I haven't spoken to her that much yet._

_Hope to hear from you soon,_

_Sarah_

I was so disappointed that we had lost our easy banter in our letters. For a few short weeks, it had been like we were actual friends. Now, we were strangers again. He was writing to me out of obligation, rather than a desire to talk to me.

I carefully slotted the letter into an envelope and carried it heavily down stairs. Molly was sitting at the kitchen table with her parchment and quill, also writing to Charlie. She agreed to send off my letter when she sent her own, and I made my way outside to seek out the others, hoping that they would be able to distract me.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I would like to start this chapter by taking a moment to apologize to you guys for a couple of things.

FIRSTLY, I was rereading all of the chapters I've written in this story so far the other day and I was shocked and horrified by the sheer amount of typos. Unfortunately, I'm one of those lazy kind of writers that barely reads over my work once before publishing so the typos and the (my personal pet peeve) accidental switching of verb tenses all get included in the version I publish so I'm sorry I've made you guys read that!

SECONDLY I do realize that the writing in this story is so-so at best. I would dearly like to rewrite large chunks of this and repost it but, as I've already mentioned, I'm one of them lazy writers and if I don't even bother to take the time to proof read my work, I'm hardly going to rewrite a story... Sorry guys!

THIRDLY I'm horribley embarrassed by all the gaping plot holes in this (I won't mention them in the vain hope that you haven't noticed) but as this story is predominantly about the relationship between Charlie and Sarah, I'm not that concerned with the plot line. So, if there's anything you see and you think "hmm, that's a load of crap because of xyz" then I'm sorry and please just ignore it!

FOURTHLY (if that's a word) I know I'm a sporadic updater. Sorry.

FINALLY this chapter is a bit crap but there's some juicy Sarah-Charlie dialogue coming up in the next one so hang on in there and sorry for making you wait!

Oh, and thank you to all my reviewers, you make me a very very very happy person! :)

* * *

I didn't expect another letter from Charlie for at least a few days. So, naturally, I was stunned to find an owl sitting on the windowsill of my bedroom window the very next evening. And the evening after that. And the evening after that.

In every letter he reminded me that he didn't have enough time to write to me every day anymore but every evening I would go up to bed to find a different owl perched on my windowsill. I would quickly read the letter, then scribble a reply and send it off with the same owl.

I found myself longing for bedtime, even at the breakfast table, because I loved reading his words and writing my replies.

My days had become more bearable, however. I would hang out with Ron, Hermione and Ginny most of the time. We got on well. Hermione was nice enough, if a little know-it-all at times. It was obvious that Ron was devoted to her, though she didn't seem to be very aware of it.

The week running up to Harrys arrival flew past. The Burrow was about to get quite full, as guests were going to descend upon the house in the coming weeks for Bill and Fleurs wedding so Charlie had arranged for me to move to Remus' parents-in-law's house on the same evening that the order were due to pick up Harry.

When the day of departure finally rolled around, I found myself constantly fighting bubbles of giddiness that would erupt suddenly in my stomach at the thought that I was going to see Charlie that very evening. The other three were in a similar state of distraction, though I suspected for three very different reasons.

As afternoon began to transition into evening, everyone came to sit around the adjoined kitchen-living room space to await all the different people would soon be assembled in Molly's small kitchen.

Remus had already arrived and he had introduced me to his pink-haired wife. She was gushing with unsuppressed glee with every word she spoke, as you would expect a newlywed to do, but every time his eyes fell on her, his face tightened almost imperceptibly. I noticed this as she talked to me about her parents who I would be going to stay with tonight.

Other order members were also seated among us by this stage, some I recognised as regular visitors to the burrow, such as the deep-voiced, serious looking man by the name of Kingsley Shacklebolt and a heavily scarred man with a wooden leg and a creepy magical eye who always seemed to be watching me whenever I was in the room with him. Ginny had told me that she reckoned he thought I was a death eater in disguise, though she told me not to worry, as he thought everyone was secretly a death eater and I shouldn't take it personally.

There was also a gigantic man with coarse, matted hair and beard who I had never met before tonight. He was sitting on the floor in the corner, making chitchat with Ron and Hermione.

Suddenly, there was loud crack from somewhere outside, the sound that announced the arrival of visitors before they came to knock at the door. Excitement reared up in my stomach again as my imagination involuntary formed the image of Charlie bursting through the doors, locking eyes with me, lifting me up bridal style and carrying me off into the sunset.

Low and behold, a couple of seconds later, Charlie _did _come through the door but he didn't lock eyes with me. On the contrary, his gaze went all around the room, across every other face, before finally he glanced at me.

"Hey, Sarah, you ready to go? We should get going as soon as possible."

"Sure!" His words caught me by surprise and I reacted before I had even fully registered what he was saying. My legs snapped into and upright position and I leapt up out of my chair. My flailing hand clipped the side of the full glass of water that had been on the table in front of me. It toppled over and water spewed all over the table and over the sides and on to the floor and all over my jeans.

Heat exploded over my face as I felt my cheeks burning with embarrassment. I fumbled to pick up the glass and I pressed my sleeve to the edge of the table in an attempt to stem the flow of water that had slowed into quick drips that fell into the puddle forming at my feet.

"Not to worry!" Molly trilled as she pulled herself out of her arm chair, wand held high.

" 'Ow clumsy, Sarah!" Fleur called from couch that she was sharing with Bill.

I looked up to see the whole room staring at me, mostly with amusement. My blush intensified as it occurred to me that most of these people didn't even know me well enough to know that I wasn't usually this... easily reduced to ridiculousness by some guy. The more sardonic part of my mind hoped that this would, at least, convince Moody that I was too much of an idiot to be a death eater.

I felt a hand close around my wrist and pull my arm away from the now dry table. Charlie had come over and was surveying me with sceptical eyes. I caught his gaze and he rolled his eyes in a playful kind of way, a small smile playing across his lips, then he waved his wand and my jeans were instantly bone dry again.

"Thanks..." I mumbled.

"Any time," He dropped my wrist. "So now that you've finished drowning the kitchen in water, are you ready to go?

I nodded, then turned to say goodbye to everyone. I thanked Molly and Arthur for their hospitality and Ginny promised to write to me so that I wouldn't be too lonely.

A few minutes later, I was walking down the garden path towards the front gate side by side with Charlie. He had insisted on taking my bag so now was dragging my muggle suitcase along behind him.

"So, how have you been?" He tried his best to be nonchalant but the question still sounded awkward.

"Fine. Nothing really to report. You?"

"Oh, yeah. The same. I told you everything in my letters." He opened the gate and held it for me to pass through in front of him.

I _wanted _to launch into a rant about how his letters were crappy these days and how he was an idiot for leading me on this whole time and how I was sick of the wizarding world, but how I actually really liked him and the highlight of my day was our daily correspondence-

But I didn't say any of that.

"Yeah, the letters you keep sending even though you say you don't have the time!" I gave a half hearted smile as I stopped in the road where the disapperation boundary ended.

He gave an abashed smile that seemed to hide so many real emotions that conflicted across his eyes. I opened my mouth to question him but he reached over to clutch my arm and twirled his wand so that we vanished into the strangulation tube that was apparition.


	12. Chapter 12

We reappeared in the street opposite a decently large house in what seemed to be a suburban area. The sky was half-purple half-pink as the evening grew darker.

Charlie dropped his grip on my arm the minute we touched down on solid ground and lurched forward, still dragging my suitcase. I watched him walk ahead of me for a fraction of a second before following, wondering what I had done or said in the last week that had made him behave so awkwardly.

He pressed his forefinger into the doorbell and stood, waiting. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure I was standing behind him and I shot him a small smile. He dropped his gaze and smiled back quickly before the front door was pulled open and we were greeted by middle aged man with thinning blond hair, a round belly and a broad grin on his face.

"Charlie!" The man grasped Charlie's hand and shook it enthusiastically. "Come in, son, come in! And you must be Sarah?"

Charlie had squeezed into the house past the man and I stepped up to doorstep to have my own hand shook vigorously. I nodded in confirmation as he said my name.

"Ted Tonks, Dora's father, but you just call me Ted." He ushered us through to a comfortable sitting room where we were introduced to his wife, Andromeda, a tall, slim woman with light brown hair, kind eyes and what looked to be a once beautiful face.

Then Ted sunk gratefully into an arm chair and invited us to make ourselves comfortable. I perched at one end of a large sofa, expecting Charlie to sit at the other end as far from me as possible, as would have been in character of this new, weird, awkward Charlie. To my surprised, he sat down right next to me in the middle of the couch. The side of my thigh that was inches from his began to to heat up.

"Had Dora arrived by the time you left?" Andromeda asked us, pouring tea from a tea pot into four cups.

I glanced over at Charlie, waiting for him to answer but he had just sunk his teeth into a Madeira bun that he had picked up from a plate on the coffee table in front of him, so his cheeks bulged slightly as he chewed.

"Oh, um yes," I supplied. "She and Remus had arrived about ten minutes before hand, I think."

"Yes, she was explaining their plan to me the other day, quite ingenious!" Andromeda handed everyone a cup of tea before settling down into another armchair. At the confused look on my face, Ted explained the plan to transform six other people into exact replicas of Harry Potter with the use of a thing called Polyjuice potion to confuse any death eaters who might happen to be in the vicinity – not that they expected any trouble.

After twenty more minutes of polite chat, Andromeda escorted me up to the room I would be sleeping in. Charlie followed us up the stairs with my bag.

"Here you are, Dora's old room," She pushed open a door to reveal a smallish room with light-coloured walls and some sparse furniture. There was little in the way of embellishments or personalisation and the walls looked as though they had been freshly painted. I had the impression that this was probably not how the room looked when Tonks had slept in here.

"I'll leave you to settle in," She made to leave but stopped on the threshold of the room and looked back. "Oh, dear, how long do you think you will be staying? Just so I have a rough idea?"

"Oh, um-" I stuttered, having no idea.

"Just four days, Andromeda," Charlie piped up. "I'll come and get her one the morning of the 1st for the wedding and then she'll be moving back into the burrow. Thanks for letting her stay, Mum just doesn't have room for her at the moment." I stared at him. He never said anything about going to a wedding.

"Oh it's no trouble! Come and say good bye to us before you leave, Charlie!" And with that, Andromeda pulled over the door and disappeared downstairs.

"What wedding...?" I asked Charlie, who had just plonked down onto the end of the bed.

"Bill and Fleur's, obviously?" As he said it, I did feel a bit like an idiot for not realizing that.

"Oh right. Why am _I_ going?"

"Did Fleur not tell you? She offered you an invitation. And anyway I need a date." I choked a little on my own oxygen.

"Date?!"

"Well yeah," he gave me a sly smile. "I'll need _some_one to talk to."

"And that someone is going to be me, is it?" I hauled my suitcase up on the bed for an excuse to avoid meeting his eyes as my spirit did a little jig inside my chest.

"Well, we're friends, arn't we?" His voice sounded hesitant, as though he was afraid I would contradict him.

"Is that why you're letters have been so 'buddy-buddy' recently?" The words slipped out of my mouth before I had thought them through – a habit of mine.

I saw him freeze on the side of the bed out of the corner of my eye. My hand faltered on the zip for a second. Evidentally, I had hit a nerve with him, though I couldn't understand why his crappy letter was such a touchy subject.

"I've been really busy. I haven't had a lot of time to write." He said mechanically.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry." I looked up at him, regretting my words.

"My job is really demanding-"

"Really, Charlie, it's ok. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." I kicked myself silently for ruining the moment. We were having a wonderfully normal, friendly conversation and I went along and ruined it.

We stared at each other in silence for a moment.

Then, he sighed exasperatedly and jumped to his feet and began pacing. I just watched him, confused as hell.

"It's not that I don't want to write to you!" He whirled around and took a few steps towards me. "It's just I-" his voice caught in his throat but his mouth still hung open. He was close enough for me to be able to see the conflict in his blue eyes. He clearly wanted to tell me something but something within him was holding him back.

Hi mouth was less than two inches above my own in height. He was less than five inches away from me. It occurred to me that it would take barely any effort at all for me to lean forward and kiss him.

Then, without any direction from my brain, my foot took one small step forward and I pressed my lips to his.


	13. Chapter 13

For a moment he kissed me back. For a moment, were standing in the middle of Tonks' old bedroom kissing each other, his hand on my cheek, my hand on his, perfect bliss. For a moment.

Then, he jumped backwards, pulling away from me.

He looked at me like I had three heads and, though we had been connected for only a few seconds, he was breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry." I said, automatically, my cheeks turning red.

His eyes bore into mine, still with that confused look on his face

"No. Don't be sorry... I have to leave now." He turned on his heel and pulled the door open. I rushed after him, stopping in the doorway, leaning my head against the frame, as I watched him dash down the stairs.

He didn't even glance back at me but he did pause at the bottom, catching his breath before he ducked into the living room to say goodbye to Ted and Andromeda, like he had promised. He was in there for barely thirty seconds before he hurtled back out and wrenched open the front door. I had to kneel down to keep him in sight, but I was glad that I did because, right at the last second, he turned to look back at me. Our eyes locked for the briefest of seconds before he frowned and vanished out into the night.

I slumped in that doorway, staring after him, for a long time. I kept hearing his voice in my head echoing the words 'No. Don't be sorry' over and over. His words just didn't match his initial reaction. I could see quite vividly the panic he had in his eyes as he had leapt away. But then he didn't want me to be sorry?

I eventually pulled myself to my feet as I heard movement downstairs. I closed the door and began mechanically unpacking all the clothes I had brought, still reliving the moment - both the wondrous beginning and catastrophic ending.

As I unearthed the single dress that I had shoved in my bag that day weeks ago when Charlie had brought me to Auntie Joan's, I remembered about the wedding. And I realised that I had no idea what people generally wore to wizarding weddings.

I fumbled the dress in my hand as I surveyed it. It was a cranberry colour with little white daisies printed all over it and it sat just a couple of inches above my knee. It was more of a casual dress than the kind of dress you would wear to a wedding – at least, a muggle wedding. I vaguely recalled Arthur and Bill leaving every morning for work wearing ankle length robes... Was this the kind of thing I was expected to wear?

The night passed slowly. It was briefly interrupted by Hagrid, the gigantic man from the burrow, and Harry crashing into the garden pond, however. I stayed out of the way as they ran about the house, talking about an ambush. They were barely in the house for twenty minutes, however, before they disappeared.

The next morning, I woke early. I had slept very little, as every time I closed my eyes, Charlies panic-stricken face floated in front of my vision. My mind went round in circles, trying to decipher what Charlie had been trying to tell me before I kissed him, then trying to figure out why he looked so freaked out even though he had definitely kissed me back to start with. Then I would wonder if _he _had been think of kissing _me _when he had come so close to me. And that just got me back to trying to work out what he had been saying beforehand...

As I sat up in bed, I half expected to find an owl sitting on my window sill but there was nothing. I sighed to myself, pushed of the bedcovers and dressed quickly.

Downstairs in the kitchen I found Andromeda sitting at a small table with an empty plate covered in toast crumbs, pouring over a piece of parchment.

"Good morning," I greeted her. Her hand twitched, pulling the parchment closer to her chest – away from me. Her eyes snapped up and she put a forced smile on her face.

"Morning!" She trilled, with a little too much effort. "Breakfast?"

"Um, yes please." I sat warily into a chair at the table. "Is everything all right?"

"Fine! Everything is fine. Dora sent that letter - this morning. She says that she and Remus would be stopping over later. That should be nice..."

She busied herself with making scrambled eggs, avoiding my eyes. Whenever I caught her eye unexpectedly, however, I saw her looking at me sceptically; as though I was someone she didn't trust in her home – as if I would pocket her priceless family heirlooms when her back was turned.

I was really very confused by this. She had seemed so welcoming and kind last night... What had changed?

"What was all the commotion last night?" I tried to make friendly conversation, as the stiff silence was getting to an unbearable level.

"Oh, there was just some trouble last night when they were fetching Harry, that's all. Nothing to worry about." She was still being forcibly cheery, but her voice suddenly had a guarded edge to it, as though I had asked a question that she didn't want me to ask.

"Where did they go, after they left here?"

"Your eggs are ready!" She spoke over the end of my question, cutting me off and trying to change the topic. There was definitely something weird going on here...

As she set the plate in front of me and I had barely eaten two morsels of my eggs when the doorbell rang. Andomeda leapt to her feet and hurried out into the hall to answer it. When she returned, she was followed by Remus and Tonks.

They, too, had slightly forced-looking smiles as they greeted me. Remus came to sit in the chair beside me but Tonks stayed standing, lounging against the counter beside the door.

"How are you, Sarah?" Remus asked me.

"I'm good," I replied through my mouthful of eggs. "How about you? I heard you had some trouble last night?"

I saw Tonks' eyes twitch out of the corner of my eyes, as though they had narrowed for a fraction of a second.

"Of course, you were here when Hagrid arrived with Harry, weren't you?" He nodded to himself, as though something had just occurred to him, or he was thinking something over in his head. He glanced back at his wife behind him then turned back to me, a very serious look on his face.

"Sarah, there are some questions I would just like to ask you."

"Ok...?" I set my fork down on my plate I looked back at him.

"Can you tell me what you did after you left the Burrow last night? Exactly what you did?"

"What?" I asked, perplexed. Why would he care? My thought immediately jumped to my kiss with Charlie. Had Charlie said something to him? Was there some kind of rule that said wizards and muggles weren't allowed to be together? Was that why Charlie had been acting so weird?

"Just answer the question, please, Sarah." Remus stared right into my eyes – as thought it was a challenge.

"I... I disapperated with Charlie and- and we came straight here."

"What did you do once you arrived here?"

"We went and had tea in the living room," I said, sceptically. My brain was working at a million miles an hour, waiting for Remus to mention my kiss and trying to figure out how I was going to dodge it, without full-on lying about it.

Remus was still gazing at me intently, concentrating on my eyes, taking in every word I said.

"Then, we went upstairs and talked for a bit... Then- then he left and I unpacked." I dropped my gaze on my half eaten eggs and picked up my fork again.

At that moment, the door bell rang again. Andromeda, who had been hovering over by the sink, watching the scene unravel, hurried back into the hall.

"What are you not telling me, Sarah?" Remus asked gently, trying to draw my attention back to our conversation.

"Ex- excuse me?" I looked back at him, and the sensation of my lips on Charlies came back into my mind.

I saw Remus' eyebrows rise slightly and a tiny smile tugged at the corner of his lip.

Andromeda came back into the room, closely followed by the last person I expected to see in this moment.

Charlie rushed into the Kitchen, his eyes immediately locking onto my face for the briefest of seconds, then, he turned to Remus.

"Ah, Charlie," Remus said casually. "I thought we might see you this morning. No doubt Bill sent you a letter?"

Charlie didn't answer, he just scowled, walked purposefully over to the chair on my other side, yanked it out and sat down.

Remus turned back to me. My gaze darted between the two men, one glaring darkly across at the other, one staring tensely at me.

"Sarah, you understand that last night, we were betrayed." Remus continued.

"What?" I could feel pink rising into my cheeks. Surely a _kiss _wasn't a betrayal!

"You see, someone leaked information to the death eaters about Harry's departure. There was only a slim number of people who actually knew this information, so you can understand our confusion." Tonks stiffened on the other side of the room, as though she was preparing for something to happen. It was starting to occur to me that this wasn't about the kiss at all...

"So, Sarah," Remus leaned in closer. "I need you to answer one question and I need you to be completely truthful. I warn you that I shall know if you are not telling me the truth. Are you working for the death eaters?"

My mind froze. I was completely and utterly flabbergasted. How- _how _could they even...!

"Of course she isn't!" Charlie exploded beside me as my jaw hung open in pure shock.

"Sarah?" Remus asked again, not paying any attention to Charlie.

"I- ehh- I... N-no, I'm not. No. No." I began shaking my head vigorously. This was very _very _different to what I thought was going to happen. And an awful lot more serious. If they thought Iw as working for the death eaters... would they use the killing curse on me? Would they drag me to jail? Would I ever see Charlie again?

"No! I'm a muggle!"


	14. Chapter 14

Remus stared levelly into my eyes. He looked like he was searching for something, like an answer to a difficult question. Like a solution to a problem. Like something that would change everything.

I stared back. The urge to break eye contact and glance at Charlie was overwhelming. I just wanted to see if he was looking at me with the same suspicion as I saw in Tonks' eyes. I just wanted to know if he believed them, if he thought I was... a death eater.

We stared at each other. The seconds stretched out.

I could feel my face imploring him to just _believe _me.

The weight of this moment was making the air stick in my lungs. Whatever Remus decided in this moment would probably have a huge bearing on the rest of my life. They were fighting a _war_, I had to remember that. Just because it wasn't on the news didn't make it unreal. Just because they didn't walk around with amputated limbs or jaggedly healed wounds didn't mean they weren't battle scarred or terrified for their lives and their loved ones.

If they decided that I was an enemy on their turf, there was no saying what they might do to me. And I wasn't entirely sure that I would hold them accountable for their actions...

"_Believe_ me._.._" I whispered.

Finally, as though my words had broken some sort of spell, Remus blinked and his expression softened.

"Well?" Charlie asked, his voice still harsh.

"I can't detect any trace of deception," he replied, pushing his chair back from the table. "But then again, she could just be a particularly skilful Occlumens." Remus looked down at me as he stood up and gave me a tiny little smile of reassurance.

Relief flooded though my veins like ice water. A huge grin broke over my face and I looked back to Charlie to share this moment of release- but he was still glaring at Remus.

"Harry was in this house. If she was a death eater, why didn't she just kill him last night?" He rose slowly to his feet, barely bothering to hide the challenge in his tone.

"Charlie, it would have been foolish not to at least consider it. Even you can admit that." Remus was not rising to the bait. He was still cool as a cucumber. Tonks, on the other hand, looked like she would totally be able to take Charlie in a fight.

For a second, I amused myself with contemplating who would win in a fight, Tonks or Charlie. I was fairly confident that Charlie could take her down in a physical, muggle style fight, but I had never seen a proper wizarding duel before...

I shook my head a little. The relief was making my silly.

"A death eater attacked her, Remus." Charlie's voice was low and menacing and his fingers flexed around his wand. "I was there. He almost killed her."

"Charlie, relax!" I jumped up out of my chair and put a hand on his shoulder. I could feel his muscular flesh beneath his thin t-shirt as my fingers scrabled across it, trying and failing to get a grip on him but his shoulder was too big for my small hand. "That guy didn't get anywhere near me!"

"And the fact that you have the _audacity_ to accuse her of being a death eater," Charlie completely ignored me and continued in his low, threatening voice, "after she has given up her entire life just to help us... Well, it makes you look like an ungrateful little fu-"

"Charlie Weasley!" I exclaimed, scandalised. Tonks made a move across the kitchen and all of a sudden, her wand was pointed right at Charlies nose, across the table. Andromeda gasped but Remus flung an arm out across Tonks' body and shook his head at her.

After a tense couple of seconds, Tonks dropped her arm, but Charlie still glared over at her with menace.

"So," said Remus, casually, as though we had all just enjoyed a pleasant afternoon tea party, rather than a potentially life threatening discussion about my loyalties. "Will we see you at the wedding?"

Tonks scoffed.

"Yes. You will." Charlie interjected sharply.

"Well then, we'll take our leave. Sarah, Charlie. See you in a couple of days, then." He guided Tonks out of the kitchen with one arm around her waist and Andromeda followed to see them out.

The atmosphere lightened up considerably. Charlie sighed and sank back into the chair he had been sitting in and rubbed his face with his hands. I had been too preoccupied to notice earlier, but now that I looked at him properly, I could see small black circles under his eyes.

"Charlie Weasley, please tell me you were not about to swear at Remus!" I rounded on him.

He gave a mirthless chuckle.

"That's what you decided to take from that conversation?!"

I sat back down in my own seat and quickly ran through the last ten minutes in my head.

"What's an Occlumens?" I asked.

"Someone who can hide their thoughts." He looked over at me with bleary eyes and a tiny crease between his eyebrows.

"Remus can read people's minds?!" I exclaimed

"No, no, no. Well, yes, kind of, we all can, if we try..." Charlie sighed. "Can we talk about this later? I am really not in the mood for it."

"You look exhausted." I remarked.

"Well you gave me a lot to think about yesterday, so I didn't get a lot of sleep..." He countered, darkly.

"Oh yeah..." His panicked expression flickered in my mind again."About that..."

"We don't need to talk about it." He said quickly, getting to his feet abruptly. "Look, I really only came to jinx Lupin. I have to get back."

"How did you know he was here?" I was more than happy to change to subject.

"They discussed it late last night after everyone got back to the Burrow. They decided Remus should come over and check things out, make sure you were who you said you were. Bill sent me a letter straight after, he knew it was something I would want to hear about... I got the owl first thing this morning. Actually, I thought it was from you..." His eyes met mine and my cheeks grew a little warmer.

"Wait, why weren't you at the Burrow, too?"

"I told you, I work in Romania."

"You came here from Romania? Why?"

"I had to defend your honour." He shot a thin smirk at me.

"And what business do you have with my honour, may I ask?" I said, getting to my feet also, hands on hips.

"Well considering it was me who asked you to jeopardize it in the first place..." He sighed again and glanced at the clock hanging over the doorway. "And now I really need to get going, I was meant to be at the Welsh Green enclose twenty minutes ago." He started wandering over to the door. "I'll see you in three days." He turned to leave.

"No, wait! What do I wear to a wizard wedding?!" I called after him.

"Oh, don't worry, I'll sort something out." He called over his shoulder before disappearing back out the front door.

I stared after him, just like last night, except this time I was not filled with guilt, rather I was full of apprehension. All I could do was hope that Charlie had good dress sense, or who knows what I would be wearing to this wedding...


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: So, it's getting pretty close to the point where I _thought_ the story was going to end but it's looking like there's more to it then I had anticipated. We're just going to have to see where this leads us.

This chapter is a little different from the usual, as you will see, but I think it's worth including. It's also a little shorter then you might like, but, trust me, the next couple of chapters are going to be Charlie-licious.

Just remember, reviews make me a happy person!

* * *

I was standing in front of a full length mirror, staring at my reflection.

The dress that Charlie had promised to send had arrived a couple of hours before – just in time, seeing as he was coming to pick me up for the wedding at 7 am tomorrow.

He had chosen a floor length dress made from a soft, floaty material in a delicate lilac colour that sat weightless on my skin. It had three-quarter length sleeves in a sheer material and a sweetheart neckline, as well as a silky silver ribbon around my waist, hugging my curves but cascading loosley down to the ground in a flattering manner. It was really quite comfortable and easy to wear. And it made me looking feaking fantastic. I had to admit, I was impressed. Charlie Weasley; Badass Dragon-Tamer and Fashion Extraordinaire – who knew?

At this point, I had ascertained that the dress fit me perfectly – though I had no idea how he knew my size – I was just wearing because it made me feel like some sort of Disney princess. The rest of me, however, most certainly did not agree with this princess image.

Charlie had neglected to include shoes with the dress and I had a limited selection to choose from, considering the fact that when I had packed my bag, I had not anticipated any wedding invitations. So, I had black pumps on underneath the delicate lilac skirt. They clashed jarringly with the dress, but it was either them, my green converse or my brown boots – I had no choice.

My hair was pulled back in a semi-greasy ponytail to keep it off of my face as I practised my make up for tomorrow. My face was split in half, my two eyes had two different eye shadows, my cheeks bore different blushes – even my lips had two different lipstick shades. I was having difficulty making concrete decisions.

I kept trying to picture Charlie's face as I came down the stairs in the morning. I just wanted to look nice. I just wanted him to tell me he thought I looked nice.

So, the internal battle between the red and the nude lipstick ensued...

After he had fled the house the morning of Remus' interrogation, I had heard very little from him. He sent me a letter that evening but it had consisted of nothing more than a greeting, a quick question about my general well being and the time that he would pick me up for the wedding. Then, he sent me nothing until this evening when an owl had delivered a brown-paper package containing this dress and a note that said "As promised - Charlie".

I sighed and glanced over at the clock. I had to get up in seven hours to shower and it simply would not do to look pale and peaky, or have gigantic bags under my eyes. There was only so much I could hide with makeup.

I scrubbed my face clean with a handful of makeup wipes and gingerly unzipped the dress and hung it on a hanger off of the wardrobe door.

When I finally climbed under the covers, my head was jam packed full of possibilities. My imagination kept returning me to a fantasy in which Charlie and I stood in a gazebo lit only by the moon and a string of fairy lights. Charlie would turn to face me dramatically and confess his undying love for me and I would fall into his arms and he would whisk me away to his love nest in Romania...

But the wedding was happening in the Burrow, and the Burrow didn't have a gazebo. And it was kind of out of character for Charlie to own a love nest.

And then, of course, there was the glaringly obvious fact that he wasn't in love with me. Well, a girl can dream.

Even if he did have any sort of feelings for me, though, it wasn't as if we could_ be together_. He lived in Romania and I lived in London. He was fighting a war and I was in hiding. He was a member of the good guys and all his friends thought I was a bad guy.

Ever since my little visit from Remus and Tonks, I kept expecting them to return. I thought they might try again when Charlie wasn't there to stand up for me. It was pretty clear that they didn't quite believe that I wasn't some sort of spy, no matter what Charlie said.

Andromeda hadn't returned to her friendly self. She still treated me with apprehension and I could tell she was watching me. She got nervous if I spent too much time alone in this bedroom. She would come upstairs and invite me to watch television with her, or ask me to help her with the housework.

Ted, on the other hand, at least pretended to be nice to me. He would make idle conversation at dinner time and he would smile at me when we passed each other in hall. But he didn't quite trust me, I could just tell.

So I had waited for more members of the Order of the Phoenix to show up and escort me to some secure location and re-question me. It never happened, but tomorrow evening, I would be moving back into the Burrow, as the wedding guests would be leaving. Then, I would be right under the nose of the entire order and they could ask me whatever questions they wanted with very little warning.

My memory jumped to the tiny glass marble Charlie had given me in case I got into any trouble with the death eaters. I wondered if it would still work now, or if it was a one-use kind of thing. I made a mental note to start carrying it around with me.

As the thought of enlisting Charlie as my protector again occurred to me, almost simultaneously I realised that if I did that, I would be asking him to fight for me against his own family. Did I really want to do that? Did I really want him to alienate his family for me? Did I actually think that he would choose _me_ over his _family_?

My head buzzed with all these questions and ideas for what seemed like hours and hours until I finally fell into an uneasy sleep where I was plagued by dreams about my beautiful dress turning into death eater robes and Remus bursting in to arrest me and Charlie staring at me through bars with betrayal in his eyes.

So much for getting my beauty sleep...


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: longest Chapter ever :P Almost everything that happens in the wedding happens in the book, I've just added another layer of description. You should all have realised by now that I love my canon :D

* * *

The wedding guests weren't actually due to arrive until 3pm but there were lots of last minute preparations that needed sorting out beforehand, so Charlie came to get me at 7 am because he didn't think he was going to get much of an opportunity to do so later in the day.

I woke up early, showered, packed my bag and waited by the front door until he finally showed up – late.

"You are late!" I said, pulling the front door of Ted and Andromeda's house closed behind me.

"What?" He looked perplexedly at his watch. "It's only 3 minutes past seven?"

"That is three minutes after the agreed time!" I told him sternly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise you took tardiness as a personal insult." He smirked at me.

"Well, you just remember next time..." I dropped my gaze to the pavement.

I wasn't usually so particular about things like that, only when I'm nervous. I had felt fidgety and apprehensive all morning and Charlie's lateness had not helped.

I had come to the conlcusion that the reason I was so nervous was the fact that the only 'normal' conversations we had ever had were through letters, when I could spend half an hour trying to come up with some witty or clever comment. We were about to spent pretty much an entire day together and I was afraid that Charlie would finally see who I really was and decide that I wasn't worth his attention...

He just chuckled at my chagrin and grasped my wrist so we could apparate.

As the best man, Charlie was in the middle of all the preparations that were going on throughout the morning. I learned very quickly, however, that I was going to be of no use what so ever, as I had absolutely no magical ability. So, I settled for making cups of tea for everyone at hourly intervals and generally trying not to be a nuisance.

At about 11:30 Fleur disappeared off with her mother and her sister to begin getting ready, but it was another hour and a half before Ginny, Hermione and I trooped upstairs after them.

Hermione had finished dressing first, some two hours later and she went down to the marquee to find a decent seat. Ginny had gone into Fleur's rooms so that Madame Delacour could co-ordinate her hair with Fleurs sister, as they were both bridesmaids. I was just about ready but I had decided to powder my face one last time, forseeing that I probably wouldn't get another opportunity to do so for a couple of hours. I was holding my container of loose powder in one hand and my brush in the other, staring critically at my face in the mirror.

I had spent an agonising amount of time applying eye shadow and mascara and blush and pinning and plaiting my hair this way and that. The whole time, I had been trying to picture how Charlie would react to it all. Not once had he ever commented on my appearance – or anyone else's appearance, for that matter. I had no idea what kind of things he found attractive so I had _no_ basis what so ever to go on.

I just wanted him to say "Wow Sarah, you look really great!" I had gone with the more natural look but I was beginning to second guess all of my cosmetic choices when a voice suddenly spoke from the doorway.

"Are you ready?"

"Holy crap!" The sound had startled me and I had turned to see who had spoken – though I recognised Charlie's voice at once – and in the process, my hand jerked and tipped half of the loose powder out of the container and down the front of my dress. I gasped in horror as I looked down.

"Noooo, no, no, no, no, no!" I tried to brush it off of the floaty material but massive white marks were left on it.

"Crap! Sarah, I am so sorry!" Charlie rushed forward to help. This was not exactly the breathtaking reveal that I had hoped for...

"Here, let me help!" Charlie pulled out his wand and started to flick it around but I threw up my hands.

"Woah, woah! Stop, what are you going to do?!"

"I can lift that stuff off your robes," Charlie looked confused, as though he didn't really know what my problem was.

"And you're not going to... I dunno, rip the dress or something?" I looked him in the eye, trying to impart the severity of the situation through my gaze.

"Trust me," he waved his wand and, sure enough, the powder just lifted from the material into the air and dropped to the floor. I stared down at it in amazement then looked up at Charlie. He was staring at me anxiously, but after a second, a grin grew slowly across his face.

"A little tetchy today, arn't you?"

"This was not my fault!" I said indignantly, brandishing my powder brush at him. "If you had knocked on the door like any _normal_ person, I might have anticipated your sudden appearance in my room!"

"You're right, I'm sorry, this is completely my fault," Charlie said, though he didn't look very sorry. Instead he absently ran a finger across the silver sash around my midriff, not seeming to realise how casually he was touching me. "It would have been a real shame if we had ruined your robes. Fleur was right, that colour does suit you."

"Fleur?" I asked absently, distracted by his touch.

"Yes," His hand dropped and his eyes met mine. "She picked out those dress robes for you. You hardly thought it was me?" He smiled again, amused by this idea.

"Well, actually, I kinda did..."

"You look disappointed." He laughed. "You really shouldn't be I couldn't have picked anything that would have looked that amazing on you. Come on, we should get going, or you'll end up sitting behind Hagrid or something."

The sly compliment was not lost on me. My heart swelled and, internally, I thanked Fleur from the bottom of my heart for her excellent dress sense.

I was intrigued by Charlie's chipper mood. He was usually much more brooding in person. This reminded me of the Charlie I had seen in those early letters he had sent me when he joked around freely and talked so openly.

That was when I finally looked at him properly; he was wearing a deep black tunic-dress thing with white trimmings and a white rose in his button hole. The robes hugged tight to his muscular frame and even stretched taught around his bicep when he bent his arm. The robes looked well on him but they didn't really suit his freckled face and his aura of outdoorsy-ness. It would have been much more natural for him to show up a pair of worn out jeans and a plaid shirt. His red hair – which was usually longish and messy – was shorter and neater, which smartened him up a smidge.

"Did you cut your hair?"

"No, mum did," He said, darkly. "I've been staying here at home for the last few days and she forced it on me. Though she made it a lot shorter than this, I grew it out a bit."

"I kinda like it!" I smiled at him and he made a distasteful face.

"Come on, unless you don't _want _to see any of the ceremony!" He put one hand on my back to guide me out of the door. He let me go first, as the lady, then followed me down the stairs, into the garden and over to the marquee. As we arrived at the entrance, a tubby ginger youth in ill-fitting robes offered to show us to our seats.

"No, Ha- no, it's fine, I got it." The ginger boy glanced over at me anxiously, as though Charlie had said something that I might find offensive. I looked inquisitively at him, wondering what Charlie had said.

The moment passed quickly, however, as Charlie distracted me by pulling me into the tent by my hand. He found me an aisle seat in the middle of the rows of chairs. I had a decent view of the front, though a very old, very annoying woman kept making critical comments in the seat behind me to whoever she was sitting beside and it was quite distracting.

Charlie smiled at me one last time, then bounded up to the front to join his brother. I watched as a grin spread across his face so wide that I was sure his lips would split in half. Bill stood up from the chair he had been perched on and Charlie grasped his arm, pulling him a bro-hug. Bill looked quite nervous, but somehow electricity so, as though he was buzzing with energy. A sheepish smile sprouted on his own scarred face as Charlie embraced him, then he let out a short, nervous laugh at something Charlie had said in his ear and the nerves seemed to melt somewhat and some of his usual swaggering charm seemed to return to him.

My heart warmed to see this exchange between the two brothers and I was a little disappointed when they both sat down in the front row out of my line of vision.

"Do you know the Weasly's vell?" The young man who I had been seated beside turned to me to ask me this question. I had to ask him to repeat his words as his think eastern-european accent had thrown me at first. I looked over to see that he was a very burly guy, maybe a couple of years younger than me, but it was hard to tell, as he had a little beard on his chin that made him look older and yet younger simultaneously.

"Well, no, not really," I answered, "I've only come to know them recently, actually. But Fleur was kind enough to invite me to the wedding."

"The same with me," he said. "Fleur is the one who invited me also. My name is Viktor Krum." He extended his arm to shake my hand.

"Sarah Kingston," I shook it, feeling the power and the calluses on my skin that reminded me so acutely of another hand...

Suddenly, the group of people who had been seeing the guests to their seats found seats of their own in the first few rows, closely followed by Molly who waved at various relatives as she made her way down the aisle. As soon as she had sat down between her husband and Fleur's mother, Bill and Charlie got to their feet.

The general muttering came to a stop and one Charlie's identical twin brothers – whom I had yet to be introduced to – wolf whistled, causing a group of breath takingly pretty girls to giggle loudly. Charlie rolled his eyes at Bill, then they both turned to gaze down the aisle as music began to play from somewhere in the tent.

Ginny and Gabriella, Fleur's younger sister, glided up the aisle first, and when Fleur entered the marquee on the arm of her father in a simple but beautiful white dress, the entire congregation let out an audible sigh.

I glanced up at Bill as she came into view. All the nerves had disappeared. He was glowing from head to toe. He was looking at his bride as though she was the only thing in the universe that ever had the ability to make him happy – and she sure was making him happy now.

The fundamentals of the ceremony were much the same as they would have been at a muggle wedding. If you excluded the casual inclusion of magic, it had all of the same elements – women crying, the 'I do's', thunderous applause. When the couple was finally pronounced Husband and Wife, the balloons above them burst and birds of paradise erupted from their midst.

Then, the congregation stood and the room was magically rearranged into the layout for the reception. The bride and groom were immediately submerged in a crowd of well wishers, and Charlie – who had stood up at once to hug both his brother and his new sister in law – had difficulty extracting himself. He began to head in my direction but got waylaid by the old woman who had been sitting behind me. I smiled at him, then turned to find a seat, choosing one beside the only person who looked as uncomfortable to be in this group of strangers as I was – Viktor Krum.


	17. Chapter 17

This really should be spread out over two chapters but I really didn't want to do that... So everything is a little squashed together. Soz!

* * *

Not long after I had sat down, a band struck up and Bill and Fleur emerged from amidst their well wishers to take to the floor. They glided around together, gazing into each other's eyes. Fleur moved seamlessly in her gown and even Bill looked elegant, leading them both to the slow music. Guests all around were taking their seats and waiters began to wander around, offering drinks on trays.

"It was a beautiful wedding, wasn't it?" I turned my attention to Viktor.

"Yes, it was quite nice, though I think the dance is not as good at the one where I come from. It is more lively in my country." He looked sceptically at the dancing couple.

"Oh really?" I asked, intrigued. "Where are you from?"

"Bulgaria," he supplied. "I am on the national quidditch team." He added, with a tiny note of pointing out the obvious in his voice.

"Oh, well I wouldn't know, I'm a- a muggle." I hesitated before saying the word. It was the first time I had actually used the word 'muggle' to describe myself to a stranger and it felt weird coming from my own mouth.

Suddenly, Viktor's whole face darkened and his naturaly brooding features became murderous. He was scowling over my shoulder, his eyes fixed on a point beyond my head. His reaction caught me off guard and even scared me a little. Charlie had mentioned before that there were wizards who did not like muggles but he made it quite clear that they weren't the sort of people what the Weasley's acquainted themselves with.

"Do- do you not like muggles, then...?" I asked him.

"Who is that man?" He barked, pointing over my shoulder. I realised then that he wasn't scowling at me or what I had said. In fact, it looked like he hadn't even been listening. "Do you know him?"

I twisted in my chair to see who he was talking about. By now dozens of guests had flocked onto the dance floor so it was difficult for me to discern the particular man who had caused Viktor offence but when I did, I saw him to be a middle aged man in glaring yellow robes with an ugly talisman-thing dangling on his chest. I did not recognise him.

"No, I'm afraid I don't. I don't know many people here, in all honesty," I turned back to look at Viktor once again. "Did he do something wrong?"

"He is wearing the mark of a murderer." Viktor said bluntly, still glaring.

I immediately twisted right back around to reassess my original impression of the man. He looked quite normal to me, if a little... odd.

"What do you mean? How can you tell?" I asked, startled.

"The chain around his neck is the sign of Grindelwald. Grindelwald killed my grandfather."

"Oh my God," I exclaimed. This conversation was quickly turning away from the light hearted small talk you would expect from a stranger at a wedding... "That- I- I'm very sorry."

Viktor seemed to reawaken at my words. His face slackened and his gaze returned to me, though he would occasionally glance back over my shoulder.

"It is nothing for you to be sorry about. I am sorry, I interrupted you."

"Oh, uh," I wracked my brains for what we had been talking about but the conversation had taken such a drastic twist that I could not remember for the life of me. "I really don't remember."

The corner of his mouth twitched in what seemed to be an attempt at a smile.

"I think we were talking about Bulgaria." He said, pulling two bottles of what looked like light coloured beer from the tray of a passing waiter. He pulled the top off of one and handed it to me. "For you."

"What is it?" I sniffed it curiously.

"It is butter beer." He said, again with that note of pointing out the obvious. "You don't know it?"

"No, I've never seen it before. I'm m-muggle." I glanced up at him nervously to catch his reaction. His eyebrows shot up and he made a surprised noise.

"I did not know this. Well, I think you will like this." He raised his own bottle to his lips and drank deeply. I was grateful for his blasé reaction to my mugglness. I smiled inwardly and took a sip.

He was right, I did like butter beer. It tasted magnificent and it warmed every molecule of my being as it slid down my throat. I was about to exclaim in wonder and pronounce it to be the best thing I had ever tasted when a familiar hand touched my arm.

"Come and dance with me," Charlie's voice said from somewhere above my ear. I looked up to greet him, only find that he was not looking at me. Instead, his eyes were roving over Viktor in a cold way.

"Sure!" I said getting to my feet, trying to pull Charlies eyes away from Viktor. There was too much hotility in that look, it made me nervous. They looked to be approximately the same build and weight but I had a sneaking suspicion that Viktor knew how to handle himself in a fight. Though, Charlie did work with _dragons_ every day, that might give him an edge-

_Stop it! _ My internal voice shouted in my head. There was absolutely no reason for Viktor and Charlie to get into a fight.

"Oh," Viktor said, appraising Charlie from his seat.

"What?" Charlie asked him, one hand still on my arm.

"She is very nice looking," Viktor replied. "I should have guessed that she has a boyfriend."

"Oh he's not my boyfriend!" I said at the same time that Charlie said "You should have guessed."

Viktor's eyebrows rose again as I turned to Charlie, semi-stunned. Charlie just turned on his heel and pulled me onto the dance floor. When he had put a sufficient amount of bodies between us and Viktor Krum, he planted one hand on my waist, clutched my hand and began to dance as though nothing had happened – as though he hadn't just insinuated to a stranger that he was my _boyfriend._

My mind exploded in joy in response. I amused myself for a second with a little fantasy in which Charlie held up a champagne glass and tapped it with a spoon to get everyone's attention, then he would announce that he we were desperately in love and he just thought everyone should be aware. But the bubble was burst as I looked at Charlie's face. He seemed to planning on ignoring what had just happened and I had no idea how to broach the topic so I remained silent, waiting for him to speak.

"What did you think of the ceremony?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Uh- nice." I said, not really taking in the question. He laughed at me, but didn't retort.

We were both silent then, just swaying in time to the music until I couldn't take it anymore. I had to speak, I had to say something, anything, to break the silence. I wracked my brain for something to say. All I could think of was 'so, you think you're my boyfriend?' Somehow I didn't think that was the right way to begin that conversation. Instead, I settled for the only other thought that had entered my head.

"So... How's Harry?"

I felt him stiffen under my fingers. His laughing blue eyes turned steely. I knew immediately that I had asked the wrong question.

"Sick." He said curtly. "Couldn't make it to the wedding."

"Oh," I nodded my head casually, trying to brush off the moment. I regretted opening my mouth at once. My mind flashed back to that morning in Andromeda's kitchen where Remus accused me of passing information to the death eaters. I knew without having to ask that that moment was replaying to Charlie's head, too.

Then, a very strange thing happened that broke the tension of the moment but also broke apart my grip on Charlie.

Suddenly, a dazzlingly beautiful woman was pushed in between us. She grabbed one of Charlie's hands in her own and placed his other hand on her waist – which was considerably higher than mine was, seeing as she was about 6 foot tall. The height difference between her and Charlie almost made me laugh out loud.

She twisted him away and led him across the dance floor. At exactly the same moment, a redheaded man in snappy dragon skin robes stepped in from behind Charlie to take my hand and fill Charlie's place as my dancing partner.

"Here, dance with Fleur's cousin!" I heard the man say, as Charlie was commandeered. I recognised the man as the same one who had wolf whistled at the beginning of the ceremony. He was one of Charlie's twin brothers. He stood at least 4 inches above me and was smirking down at me as he guided me out onto the edge of the dance floor and finally deposited me into a chair beside the other twin.

"So this is the muggle whose been causing all the fuss?" The one sitting beside me said.

"Yes, it would appear so," his brother replied.

"Who knew something so small could cause so much trouble?"

"He says that about the gnomes, too." The brother who had abducted me from the dance floor perched on the table beside me.

"Though I would much prefer to have you in the family over a gnome. In fact, you can have Ron's place!"

In the distance I could see Charlie trying to extricate himself from Fleur's cousin as he shot daggers at his twin brothers with his eyes.

I wasn't sure if I should stand up and try to escape or if I should stay and see what these two mysterious Weasleys had planned for me. I decided that, seeing as they had gone to such trouble to get me here, they weren't about to just let me go. I had no choice but to remain sitting.

"Who- who are you?" I asked tentatively as I realised that this was the second time in my life that I had been abducted by redheaded wizards.

"Fred," said the one who had intercepted me on the dance floor.

"George," said his brother in quick succession. "But we are more interested in _you._" He pressed a finger into the side of my shoulder.

"And just how you-" Fred began speaking but his sentence was interrupted.

In that moment a strange silvery lynx appeared in the tent. My initial assumption was that it was a hologram of some sort but I quickly decided that it wasn't anything a muggle could create – this was a kind of magic that I hadn't yet encountered.

"The Ministry has fallen." It spoke in a surprisingly deep voice and the entire room was silent. "Scrimgeuor is dead. They are coming."

As the words sank in, pandemonium erupted. People began dissaperating left right and centre as others rushed around the marquee trying to get to their loved ones.

Charlie's eyes locked with mine for a split second before he catapulted towards me, knocking Fleur's cousin right off her feet and slamming into people every second step he took.

I jolted out of my seat and started running towards him, too. As I took my first steps, I became aware of people appearing in the tent, though they were not wedding guests. They wore dark masks and shot spells across the space. One narrowly missed Charlie and my heart nearly tore out of my chest in anxiety. He lunged forward, just managing to reach my outstretched hand. He apparated almost instantly, pulling me into the suffocating tube with him.

When we emerged seconds later we were in some dark alleyway that I did not recognise. We were both breathing hard. He pushed me against the wall as though trying to stick me too it and stared into my eyes with such ferocity that I thought he was going to rip my head off.

"Don't you dare move!" He almost shouted in my face. Then, he turned on the spot yet again and disappeared into the air.

I was completely alone.

But I was scared shitless.


	18. Chapter 18

Night had fallen long ago by the time Charlie left me in the alley. The sky above was pitch black and the only source of light was some distant street lamp that I could not see. This made it quite difficult to see much around me, but the alley was narrow and not very long and there was enough visibility for me to be sure that there was no one else around.

I stood frozen against the wall exactly where Charlie had left me. At first, I thought he must have used magic to hold me in the one place but after a while I realised that it was my own fear that kept me there. The only movement I was capable of was the rapid rise and fall of my chest as the air ripped through my lungs. With every shallow breath my shoulders pulled away slightly from the wall and I could feel the rough brick catching and tearing the delicate threats of my dress and fraying the back of it. I would have cared about that three hours ago but not now. Not now.

The moment where Charlie had almost been hit by that spell replayed over and over in my mind except my imagination would change it, inserting Ginny or Molly in Charlie's place or even allowing the spell the hit it's mark. I kept seeing various members of the Weasley family collapse before my eyes and lie dead in front of me. Even Fleur, in her beautiful wedding gown, was given her turn. And all the while, I was helpless, just out of reach.

With every passing minute my breathing sped up. Panic was slowly building up inside me and water was gathering around my eyes, threatening to fall as tears. I fought hard to keep myself from breaking down in hysteric sobbing, knowing that it would not help anything.

I wanted to find a way of getting back to the Burrow so that I could do something to help, or even just find out what was going on. But I had lived in London too long not to recognise a city street when I was in one, and this alley was most definitely in some city. In other words, far far away from the Burrow.

I was also afraid to go anywhere because of the look in Charlie's eyes right before he had disaperated. He had frightened me. I was afraid of what he might do if he came back here and I was gone.

So I stayed put.

Time stretched out and lost all meaning. I was completely unable to tell if I had been pressed up against that wall for hours or seconds – or days. In an obscure effort to try and ground myself, I began counting the seconds as they passed but I kept losing concentration around 16 or 17 so I would start again. The repetitive rhythm of it began to slowly calm my nerves and eventually I progressed to higher and higher numbers before I lost count and restarted.

I had made it all the way up to 42 before something happened to make my heart stop still in my chest.

There was a loud crack in the alley. It sounded deafening to me after being so long in silence. My eyes shot up to the source of the noise and I drank in the sight of a familiar shape a few paces in front of me.

"Charlie!" His name jumped from my lips in a strangled cry as relief propelled me forward.

"Stop!" He cried out. He was pointing his wand straight at me.

I slammed back against the brick, frozen once again. I was confused by his reaction. Surely he should be as relieved as I was?

"Charlie-"

"No." He interrupted me. I had no idea what the rest of my sentence was going to be anyway, so I didn't mind. "You don't get to speak to me. Not after that."

"What are you-"

"Sarah!" He took a couple of short steps forward in agitation. I shut my mouth at once. "Why did you ask about Harry? When we were dancing, you wanted to know about Harry Potter, why was that?" The forced calm of his voice was counteracted slightly by the way the words spilled out uncontrollably.

The relief that had flooded through my body mere moments ago was replaced by ice cold dread. I thought I could see where this was heading.

"Honesty, Charlie, I was just trying to make conversation!" I said beseechingly.

"Sarah, please!"

"Charlie!" It had never been more important for him to believe me as it was in this second, yet he had never been so unlikely to. "It was just after the thing with Viktor and you said you were my boyfriend and I was muddled and it was the first thing that came to my mind! I regretted it straight after cuz I realised what it would look like but I swear, I _swear _it wasn't like that, please believe me, please please please! " The words flowed out of my mouth in a rambling waterfall and my fingers absent mindedly scrabbled at the rough clay of the bricks behind me as my mind tried will him into trusting me.

"You are lying to me, you death eater! Admit it!" He was almost screeching the words but I could hear the effort he was putting in to keep the hurt out of his voice.

"No!" I yelped. "NO! Charlie I'm not, I'm not, if I was then why did I stay here! I could have disaperated to save myself but I stayed! I'm here and I'm not, please, Charlie, please!" The tears were really falling now, flowing freely down my cheeks but I didn't move to wipe them away. Instead I just stared at Charlie's steely expression.

"Do you realise how bad this looks?!" He was still shouting but his wand arm dropped to his side. I just nodded. "All of our protective charms break the _day _that you re-enter the Burrow! The _day _that the majority of the Order of the Phoenix is almost guaranteed to be there! Can you _fathom_ how _bad _that makes you _look_?!"

In pure frustration and anger, he slammed his fists against the brick wall either side of my head, trapping me in. The sudden, angry movement made me jump and I failed to stifle a frightened little squeal.

His head drooped so his face was out of my line of vision.

"I'm not a death eater." I barely whispered the words.

He was silent a long time before whispering back. "I know. You just have really _really _bad timing."

We stood like that - his arms either side of me, his face dangerously close to mine, though not looking at me – as the minutes passed and both our breathing returned to normal.

Then, completely out of the blue, Charlie started to laugh.

"Please tell me you are not interested in Viktor Krum?" He raised his head to look me in the eye. He had a strange expression on his face that was a mixture of cheeky curiosity and chagrin. My stomach jolted.

I was forced to consider this question before I answered. This was very difficult to do, however, when Charlie's lips were so very near to my own and all I could think of was how soft they had been the first time I had kissed him.

"Uhh," I said, finally. "Well, maybe I would be... if I wasn't so interested in you..."

The cheeky look slowly melted off his face and he sighed. He dropped his arms and backed up until he was leaning against the opposite side of the alley, head back, eyes staring straight up.

"Charlie, I think it's about time we had this conversation." I said. "If you're not interested, please just tell me. Maybe then we can be friends again."

"No, it's not that." His eyes met mine again, glittering in the dim light. "I am definitely not not-interested. But like I said, you have _really_ bad timing." He sighed again and lurched off of the wall and began pacing slowly.

"Please do explain." I asked.

"I have had girlfriends before," He started. I wasn't quite sure where this was going... "I've been in love before. Or at least, I thought I had been. And then you burst out of that wardrobe after that death eater nearly got you and you opened up a whole new can of worms and it scared the _crap_ out of me. I kept imagining what it would have been like if I had been holding your dead body rather than your living one – which quite easily could have happened! We are in a _war_, Sarah. Bad things happen. And I made the idiotic mistake of pulling you into it by asking you to watch out for Harry and that nearly got you killed. Then I tried to involve you in the normal wizarding world and that has pretty much ruined your life because the entire Order of the Phoenix is convinced that you work for the bad guys! And you're just lucky that the death eaters don't know who you actually are or your whole family would be thrown into the shit hole too! Every move I make just seems to be _wrong _for you! So then I tried to, you know, distance myself. But you sent me that 'charming' little letter and it cut through me like a blade. And I couldn't stop myself! Each time I sent a letter off I would promise that I would wait at least 48 hours before writing another but then your reply would fly through the window and I would be suckered into it! And then the night you kissed me- I could have jinxed myself! I didn't even _realise_ how much I had pulled you into it all and I was so angry! I kept seeing your dead body in my mind and it killed me. And I didn't ever want to have to experience that pain for real so I just didn't give myself the opportunity to become that invested in your life. Little did I realise that you can't just decide not to love someone, it just creeps up on you and squeezes your brain until you're forced to relent! And it isn't even your war! You have no need to even be involved what so ever but I had to shove my big foot in and stir the shit bucket! But I tried, I really tried to back track and undo it and let you live a normal life but all I want to do whenever I see you is hug you tight and never ever let go and it's really really distracting!"

I just let him talk. As he went on, his pacing got faster and the words came quicker. This was a whole side of Charlie I had never even known existed. It was very unlike the calm, collected, charming Charlie that I was used to that was so good at keeping all of his emotions in check.

He stopped right in front of me, his mouth clamped shut, as though he had forced himself to quit talking, though it looked like he had a little more to say.

I just stretched out my arms and wrapped them around his chest, hugging him tight, just like he had said. He hesitated a moment, then hugged me back furiously.

After a minute I tried to pull away to look up at his face put he clung on and refused to let go for another full minute. Then he sighed and dropped his arms away completely. He searched my eyes, as though trying to find another excuse as to why he should not be doing this but seemed to find nothing.

"This is not good..." he said finally, pushing a piece of hair off my face.

"On the contrary," I countered, grinning up at him. "I think this is excellent."

I leaned up and kissed him full on the lips.

* * *

A/N: We have reached an interesting conundrum. This is as far as I was ever planning on going with this story. I had planned from the very beginning that this exact scene would be the last one in this story but, as you can see, there is actually more too it that I had planned. So, I need you to help me decide what to do next. I can either end it nice and neatly in the next chapter and everything will be all dandy and wonderful and I will move on to a new story OR I can continue writing and we can venture into the realms of the unknown. If I do continue, writing, however, I cannot promise that the story will end happily, as my imagination has an unfortunate tendency to end things morbidly, especially when I don't a specific ending in mind. That said, I do have ideas of things I could include in future chapters. But I also think I might have a few ideas for new stories...

It's up to you! Please inform me of your preference via the comments! (And feel free to tell me how wonderful you think I am while you're at it, flattery will get you everywhere!) :D


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: The general consensus seems to be that you want me to keep writing, so I am. I realized while writing this, though, that I do have more to include than I thought so hopefully the story can continue without you, the readers, or me, the writer, getting too bored. Hurray!

* * *

We didn't linger in the alleyway long. I assumed we would be heading straight for the Burrow but as the suffocating grip of apparition was relinquished, it became clear quite quickly that that was not the plan. We were standing in what appeared to be a dark, small flat – even smaller than mine.

Charlie flicked his wand beside me and an old style gas lamp hanging from the ceiling lit itself, illuminating our surroundings. We seemed to be standing in the small, open plan kitchen/living room. There was a fridge, an oven and a worktop to one side and a worn couch and coffee table on the other. The front door stood in the wall between these two areas of the room and a short corridor with a more doors leading off of it, presumably to bedrooms. There was only one small window over the kitchen sink which allowed moonlight to into the room.

The entire place had a grubby, ill-kempt vibe, though it wasn't untidy. There were no dirty dishes or piles of rubbish anywhere, but the furniture looked old and tired and the walls looked like they could benefit from a lick of paint and even the carpet was almost thread bare in places. The room bore very few personal effects; no photographs, no ornaments. There were a few magazines and old newspapers on the coffee table and a collection of boots by the door but this didn't help the place to look cosy or homely.

"Where are we?" I asked, more than a little perplexed.

"My place in Romania." Charlie answered me casually as he wandered over to the fridge to gaze into it. I choked in a surprise.

"Romania?! As in, not England?!" Charlie laughed at me before replying.

"Yes Romania, as in not England. I live here, you knew that."

"Well yeah, but I wasn't expecting you to just bring us out of the country! I thought- oh! All my stuff is at the Burrow!"

"Yeah, sorry. I didn't bring you back there because the death eaters are definitely watching it." Charlie started to pull ingredients out of the fridge as he spoke. "I figured you didn't need any dark wizards getting curious about your identity and why you associate with known members of the Order. Also, I can't guarantee that you'd even be allowed inside. The Order was pretty ticked off with you when I left them."

"Was everyone alright? No one got hurt, did they?" The imaginary images of the dead Weasley family members were strong in my mind once again.

"No, no. Most people managed to disapperate before the too many death eaters showed up. It just wasn't the way Bill and Fleur wanted to end their wedding party." He shot me a half-hearted smile over his shoulder as he used his wand to chop vegetables. I buried my face in my hands.

"And they all think I had something to do with it?"

"Well... yeah." Charlie admitted reluctantly. "But we're going to sort this out as soon as possible, I promise. However, I'm not going to let you prove your innocence on an empty stomach. Do you eat omelettes?" I chuckled. That is exactly the kind of thing Molly would do, feed me before any extreme exertion.

As it turned out, Charlie made a mean omelette. After the first bite my stomach realised how food-deprived it had actually been and I wolfed down the rest in a very inelegant and highly unattractive fashion, momentarily forgetting that I was meant to be charming the pants off Charlie so as to ensure he didn't change his mind and decide that it would actually be better if we weren't in a romantic relationship. He just smiled and tried to give me half of his own omelette but I refused to take it, insisting that he eat it.

We were just about finished when the front door swung open to reveal a tall, muscular man with chin length blond hair and a scruffy beard. He looked half asleep as he stepped into the flat, pulled off his heavy duty boots and deposited them on the pile by the door then grunted a greeting to Charlie and stumbled down the corridor and into one of the rooms. Seconds later, however, the door of his room was jerked open again and he leaned out, looking much more awake and very very confused.

"Who's this?" He asked, bluntly. I thought I caught a German accent as he spoke but I couldn't be sure.

"Bernard, this is Sarah, Sarah, this is Bernard – my roommate."

Bernard's eyes flicked between me and Charlie for a few more seconds as if trying to figure something out. Then comprehension dawned on his face and a sly smirk grew over his lips.

"Oh, ok." He said and gave Charlie a little wink.

"It's nothing like that Bernard." Charlie said coolly, interpreting his smirk.

"Whatever you say, big man." Bernard withdrew into his room again, still smirking. Charlie sighed.

"He's my roommate," he told me again. "He works one of the later shifts at the dragon enclosure so he usually gets in late. My other roommate works the same hours as me so he's probably already asleep. You'll get used to them." He threw a disparaging look at Bernard's door.

His attention was pulled away from the matter of his unsavoury roommates by the arrival of an owl at the window. Charlie leapt out of his seat and fetched the letter tied to the owl's leg. He wasted no time in tearing it open and reading through it quickly – so quickly that I was sure it could not be a very long letter.

"It's from Kingsley..." When he was finished, he walked heavily over to the couch where we had eaten our omelettes and sank down into the seat he had just vacated, thrusting the letter in my direction.

I took it and read it.

_Charlie,_

_I am sure that you understand the severity of our situation. I have been informed that you have our guest. Please keep a hold of her until tomorrow morning, then bring her to our Guest House at your earliest convenience. If you do not feel you are able to handle her for that long than send word immediately and help will be provided._

_K_

I looked up to meet Charlie's gaze. He had watched me reading the letter trying to gauge my reaction. A little bubble of fear had sprouted in my stomach but I tried to keep it off of my face for Charlie's sake.

"What is the Guest House?" I asked him.

"It's... where we bring people of suspicion, when we have them." He looked at me warily. "But you haven't done anything wrong and they'll see that straight away."

"I hope so..." I handed the letter back to him. He shoved it into the pocket of his robes and carried the plates over to the sink.

"We'll worry about that tomorrow. Come on, you can sleep in my room." He led me to the end of the corridor, pointing out the bathroom door along the way. He showed me into a small room with a bed in one corner and a well stocked bookshelf directly beside it. I noticed that most of the titles had the word 'dragon' in it. Here, unlike in the living room, Charlie had added some personal items, like a photo frame with a picture of his family, a couple of moving posters and other bits and bobs scattered around. It was neat but still robust and minimalist. It felt very 'Charlie'.

"So this is what you're room looks like..." I mused, stepping into it.

"It's not like it's the first time you've been in my room," He replied, leaning in the door frame – I was noticing his habit of this. "You were staying in my room in the Burrow, weren't you?" I whipped around.

"Was I?! Why didn't anyone tell me! I would have paid way more attention to it!"

"I assumed you knew." He shrugged and laughed.

"I certainly did not!" I wracked my brain, trying to remember the details of the room I had spent so much yet so little time in when I had stayed in the Burrow.

"It's no big deal, anyway," he pushed himself off the door frame and came over to me where I stood still trying to remember. "Now get some sleep. You're going to need to be on your best behaviour tomorrow."

"Where will you sleep?" I asked half hoping that he was going to say 'in the same bed as you'.

"On the couch."

"No, I don't want to force you out-" He rolled his eyes and placed his fingers over my mouth to silence me.

"Just go with it," He smiled. "Goodnight, Sarah."

He leaned over and pecked me on the lips before disappearing out of the door, pulling it closed behind him. I was left to spend the night in his bed, torn between worrying about my encounter with the Order and trying to recall every last detail of his room in the Burrow.


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning I was awoken by the sunlight streaming in through the window, realising too late that I forgotten to close the curtains last night in my distraction. It looked to be a glorious day. The sky was only just coming to life with so many different hues of blue unperturbed by any nuisance clouds.

It was still too early to get up but I was wide awake. I should have been exhausted after the late night last night but nerves were niggling at my stomach in a way that I was never going to be able to ignore. I slid out from under the covers and knelt in front of the books in my underwear – I had slept this way as I had no pyjamas and hadn't wanted to damage my dress anymore my sleeping in it. I pulled it on now, though, for something to wear, and quietly made my way out of the room and back down towards the kitchen area. I walked into the room only to discover and unconscious Charlie spread out over the small couch, snoring softly.

I couldn't help but smile to myself when I saw him. I knew just by looking at him that he was going to be very stiff when he woke up, he did not look comfortable. I perused through his books, slowly. As I had He was lying on his front, one arm trapped beneath his chest, the other arm dangling over the edge of the couch so that his hand was lying on the ground. His legs were tangled up around a blanket and stretched out over the other arm rest so that his feet were suspended over thin air, which meant that his spin was bending awkwardly in the middle. His face was smushed into a cushion and his mouth was closed in a cute little pout.

I stood there for a few minutes just watching his chest expand and retract, thinking of our conversation last night. Then I was afraid he would wake up and catch me staring at him as he slept, which I didn't think would be a good way to begin our relationship, so I slinked back off down the corridor to Charlie's room.

I looked around his room, trying to find something to occupy myself until he woke up. My eyes were naturally drawn to the bookshelf beside his bed. I crossed the room and knelt in front of it, running my eyes over all of the titles. As I had noticed last night, almost all of the books were about dragons. The only ones that weren't were a few books on general magical creatures, a magical cookbook and two novels that I had never heard of, presumably they were written by wizards.

I pulled a few books off the shelf and flicked though the pages, reading the different methods of treating 'scale-rot' or which times of the year are best for each species for dragon breading. The pictures were incredible. The illustrations and photos were more like videos as they moved around independently on the page. Some of them even had sound effects, though I would snap those ones shut for fear of waking anyone.

Finally, I settled on reading one of the novels. I clambered back under the covers in my dress and began to read. I had picked the one called 'When the Moon Strikes' about a werewolf who remains semi-alert during transformations and is being tortured by the things he does in his wolf state so he signs up to be part of an illegal study into curing werewolf-ism but it all turns out to be an elaborate criminal scheme. I didn't understand a lot of what they talked about or the spells that they used so a lot of the drama and tension of the action scenes went completely over my head, but I liked the character and the writing was really captivating so I read on until the sun had climbed high in the sky.

A few hours later, there was a tentative knock on the door. I called out for the knocker to enter and Charlie pushed open the door and leaned in the doorway. He was wearing only a clingy white t-shirt and boxer shorts.

"Wide awake, I see." He said, smiling.

"I woke up early so I started to read your books, I hope you don't mind." I closed the book immediately and started to get up.

"No, 'course not! It's not like I have anything hidden under one of the front covers. Would you like some breakfast?"

"Um, yeah, sure."

"Oh!" He looked me up and down, looking as though he's only just thought of something. "You don't have any of your stuff, do you? No clothes or anything."

"No, it's all at the Burrow..." I replied.

"Well, uh... Here, you can borrow some of my clothes." He moved over the dress that was up against the wall opposite the bed and pulled out a pair of jeans and a navy t-shirt. "I'll leave you to get changed."

He left the room pulling the door closed behind him. I followed a few minutes later in the oversized clothes. The jeans were about the right length, as Charlie was a similar height to me, but the waist line was a couple of inches too wide - I had to keep hoisting them up. And the t-shirt hung loosely off of my body, though I could tell that if he were wearing it, it would be stretched taunt over his muscular frame.

He was cooking strips of bacon when I walked in. The smell was wafting through the room, making my stomach grumble. Within a few minutes, I was sitting on the couch tucking into some toast and bacon. It wasn't until I had started eating that I realised just how hungry I was. Charlie put a few pieces of bacon onto a plate beside the sink and covered it with another plate to protect the food. He then wrote the word 'Bernard' on a strip of paper and placed it on top.

"Good food." I mumbled between mouthfuls. He grunted in agreement as he joined me on the couch with his food, a piece of bacon already dangling from his mouth. We talked a little more as we ate but as soon as I had swallowed the last morsel of food, he whisked my plate away and turned to look at me with a very serious expression on his face.

"I'm going to go get dressed and then I'm going to bring you to the Guest House. The interview should be fairly tame, there's no reason for them to get over-zealous so you shouldn't be too scared or anything. They only... coerce information using force if they have to, like if you knew something that we really, really needed to know. What they are most likely to do is use veritaserum. Have you heard of it?"

I shook my head.

"Well," he continued. "It's a truth potion; it will force you to answer every question truthfully. Though, if you were a real death eater you would probably have an antidote, so they're going to hesitate before believing anything you say. They'll also try to use occlumency on you like Lupin tried in Tonks' parents' house. Kingsley is very good at it, though, again, if you were a death eater, you would be expected to be an excellent legilimens."

"I can't win, can I!?" I exclaimed. It seemed that every method to prove if I was lying they used, I was expected to have a counter attack which means they wouldn't even believe me if I tried to tell them the truth.

"It just means that you are going to have to convince them of your innocence some other way."

"How?"

"The opportunity will present itself." He said, then gave me a small smile. "And if they still think that you a death eater after all that, the worst they will do is erase all of your memory and deposit you into some foreign land."

"Oh, wonderful!" I huffed.

"Don't worry, I won't let it get that far. I actually like having you around." He smiled again and then wondered off to get dressed.

While he was gone, Bernard the roommate reappeared. He wasn't dressed either. In fact, he was wearing even less than Charlie had been. Bernard sauntered into the kitchen in just his ill-fitting boxer shorts, which meant his well toned chest was on full view – I avoided looking anywhere below the waist, though, just in case anything else was on full view as well.

"Ah, good morning Charlie's Girlfriend!" He greeted me in a chipper voice. Again, I thought I detected an accent. "Did you sleep well?"

"I'm not-" I paused half way through my sentence. I had been about to say 'I'm not Charlie's girlfriend' but I wasn't sure if that was even true anymore. Bernard didn't notice. He had begun sniffing the air with a look of great concentration on his face.

"Do I smell bacon?" He followed the scent over to the plate beside the cooker. When he uncovered the bacon he crowed in delight.

Charlie walked in then, fully dressed. I was grateful for something to else look at other than the hairy legs of the strange man in front of me. I hopped up off the couch, anticipating an immediate departure.

"Bernard, you couldn't have put on some _clothes_? We have company!" Charlie said indignantly when he caught sight of his friend.

"What, we're all adults!" he answered with an overly innocent look.

"Well we're leaving anyway."

"No, stay!" Bernard said through a mouth full of food as we crossed over to the front door. "I'll dress, I promise!"

"Good bye Bernard!" I called over my shoulder as Charlie ushered me out of the door then closed it on Bernard who was wolfing down his breakfast. He sighed.

"Sorry about that," Charlie looked rueful. "He's a bit of an idiot."

"I think he's... fine." I replied, not really knowing what to say. Charlie laughed at me. Then he entwined his fingers with mine.

"You ready?" He asked. I nodded with a gulp.

He waved his wand, twisted on the spot and we vanished into thin air.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Ideally, this would have been one chapter but it was proving to be far too long so I split it. The next chapter should hopefully be up in the not so distant future but after that, I can't make any promises. I have to make some serious decisions about the direction of this story. I feel like it has lost a lot of it's momentum since the Charlie/Sarah 'lets be more than friends' chapter, so I'm working on that. Don't worry, I'll definitely finish it, I just have to decide how and where I'm going to do that... But I'm warning you again, it might have a morbid ending! I'm reeeaaaaally trying to avoid killing anyone but I can't guarantee that all the characters are going to make it to the end of the story alive... And given the fact that I won't stray away from the canon, you can imagine which characters are in most danger. I'm really trying to stop my imagination from going too far in that direction but I just want you to remember that you had the opportunity to choose a happy ending and you chose for me to continue!

On a separate note, if you have any specific questions about the plot or the logic behind some of the creative choices, feel free to ask in the comments and I will try to get one of the characters to explain if for you! But don't did too deep, as I have said before there are waaay more holes than I would care to admit!

And remember, reviews make me more inclined to update quickly!

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The house I had been brought to was a small cottage in the middle of the English countryside. There was nothing and no one else as far as the eye could see – with the exception of a few hedgerows and a narrow dirt track.

Remus had greeted us at the door and led me into a room near the back of the house, separating me from Charlie. He tried to follow us but Remus gave him a cold, stern look and a deep voice that I thought recognised somehow called his name and he begrudgingly slunk through a door in the opposite direction.

I was asked to sit in a peculiar room that reminded me of something out of a period drama. The walls were whitewashed and the floors were a dark wood. There was one small window set high in the wall close to the ceiling.

An old style chair stood in the middle of the room– the chair that I was sitting in. It had a wooden back and wooden legs with an upholstered seat. Between my chair and the door there was a narrow desk-type table which Remus was sitting behind. On the table there were various magical objects, some moving or humming, some completely still. There was also a jug of water and two old fashioned goblet-things on the table.

Remus turned now the jug of water, carefully pouring out an equal measure into both glasses. As the clean liquid sloshed against the side of the cups, I was suddenly aware of a dry sensation in my throat. I wanted to run up and drink the entire jug but I restrained myself.

Remus rose to his feet, picked up one goblet and walked towards me. All of his movements were slow and deliberate. He held out the goblet for me to take, silently offering me the drink. I took it from him gladly and swallowed half of the water before I suddenly remembered the truth potion Charlie had told me about. I immediately lowered the cup from my mouth, reviled by the fact that they were effectively trying to drug me.

I wondered if I would have reacted differently if I had thought about the potion before taking the water. Would I have drunk it? My initial reaction was 'no', I wouldn't have wanted to drink it at all. Why would I voluntarily ingest something given to me by an interrogator? But then it occurred to me that taking the potion would probably be the easiest way of getting Remus and the rest of the order to believe me.

Then I realised that it had probably been some kind of spell that had made my throat feel dry, forcing me to want to take the beverage. I looked squarely into Remus eyes before emptying the cup into my mouth and swallowing the rest of the water. There was a tiny hint of curiosity and something close to humour behind his expression, as though he understood that by finishing the drink, I was trying to convey me intentions of cooperating.

The water tasted clean, though, so I couldn't even be sure if I had even taken any truth potion. I liked to think that they would begin honestly and try to get me to give them the truth of my own volition. But a small part of my brain knew that this was wishful thinking.

Remus was leaning against the table, just watching me with a calm expression. He hadn't even touched the other goblet of water. I sat, staring back at him, waiting for him to speak.

After a few minutes, a tall, broad shouldered man walked in. He had dark skin, no hair and a single hoop earring in one ear.

When he came in, Remus pushed up off the table and walked around to its other side. He pulled open a shallow drawer and produced a feather quill and a piece of old-looking paper. He placed the paper flat on the desk and then balanced the quill on top so that it stood upright on its tip.

"Name?" He asked. As soon as he spoke, the quill began to move across the paper independently, presumably documenting everything that was being said.

"Sarah Kingston." The answer shot out of my mouth before I even had the chance to fully process the question.

"Are you a death eater?"

"No." Again, the correct answer was spat out before I understood the question. There was no doubt in my mind now that I had been given truth potion and that true answers were being forced out of my mouth without me even getting the chance to consider them.

"Why should we believe you?" The tall man asked the question this time and he spoke with the deep voice that I had recognised earlier. I suddenly linked it with the silvery animal that had appeared at the wedding yesterday – this was the man who had saved our lives by warning us about the death eaters.

"Because I'm a muggle," I replied, "and Charlie told me that the death eaters hate muggles. Why would they trust a muggle if they hate them?"

"The problem is, Sarah," Remus interjected, "That you might just be pretending to be a muggle and we would have no idea. It would be quite simple, really, all you would need to do is have a friend look after your wand so you wouldn't be tempted to use it and pretend that you don't know anything about the wizarding world – and read any muggle studies textbook, of course, for some background information to make your story that bit more convincing." He finished with a wry smile.

"Are you lying to us?" The tall wizard asked sharply.

"No." I said, simply.

"But then again, you could just be telling us what we want to hear..." Remus sank into the chair behind the desk, still staring at me. "There's no garuntee that you haven't taken a veritaserum antidote before arriving, assuming that we would use it. And, as I said before, I am not an excellent legilimens, and if you_ were_ applying occlumency with a large amount of skill, I could be fooled quite easily... You see our predicament?"

"Yes. I kind of understand." I answered. I didn't really understand the magical words he had used but I got the intended meaning. There was no way of proving my innocence outright. I would have to wait for my opportunity, just like Charlie had predicted.

"Is Sarah Kingston your real name?" This question came from the tall wizard again. It appeared that they were doing some sort of 'good-cop-bad-cop' routine and he was the bad cop.

"Yes."

"How long have you lived in your current apartment?"

"About 18 months."

"Were you aware that there is another girl the same age as you with the same name and similar physical description as you living only three streets away from you?"

"Yes," I said, "they told me on the first day at the Burrow. They said that I was the wrong Sarah Kingston."

"How very convenient," He sneered a little. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes." Just like all of my answers beforehand, this one leapt out of my mouth of its own accord. He looked a tiny bit taken aback by my answer but schooled his expression quickly.

"Sarah," Remus spoke up again. "Molly Weasley has informed us that she spotted an owl fly up to the house almost every night of your stay at the Burrow, but none of the Weasely family received so many letters at this time. She told us that she suspected that these letters were all addressed to you and she even witnessed the owls fly up to your window on a few occasions. This struck her as odd because she believed that you were a muggle and muggles don't use owl post. Would you mind telling us who these letters were from?"

"Charlie Weasley."

"All of them?" Remus looked sceptical.

"Yes, every one of them."

"Why would he write to you every single night?"

"Because he was trying and failing to suppress his romantic feelings towards me." The bluntness and candidness of the words surprised even me.

Remus and the tall wizard exchanged a brief look.

"Can you prove this?" the tall wizard asked.

"Yes. I have kept all of the letters, you can see them if you want. They are with my luggage at the burrow, though."

They exchanged a slightly longer look, then they changed tact.

"Sarah," Remus began, "do you remember the day in Andromeda's kitchen where I asked you a few questions?"

"Yes."

"I felt like there was something you were worried about – something you expected me to ask you. And you looked anxious, but not surprised by visit, which I found unusual. Would you care to explain?"

"The night before you arrived, I kissed Charlie. But he rushed out of the house straight away afterwards without any explanation so when you appeared in the kitchen I thought I must have broken some law that prevented muggles and wizards being together." Remus' face twitched a little, as though his eyebrows had nearly risen but he had caught them just in time. The tall wizard frowned. This was, evidentially, not the way they expected this conversation to go.

"Are- are you and Charlie Weasley... together?" Remus was fighting to keep his voice as calm and cool as it normally was.

"I'm not sure. We confessed our feelings for each other last night but there was no discussion about the status of our relationship. Do you think there should have been?" Half of me was mortified that I was just spilling out all of these details with strangers, let alone my interrogators. But the other half of me was almost relieved to finally get a chance to talk about it.

"Ms Kingston, this is not the time or the place for frivolity." The tall wizard nearly snapped at me.

"I'm not trying to be frivolous. I am only answering your questions."

"Where were you when you..." Remus hesitated and leaned over the piece of paper on the desk, reading back over the words written by the quill. "when you 'confessed your feelings for each other'?"

"In an alleyway. I don't know where."

"In some unknown alleyway...?" The tall wizard looked like he wasn't buying any of it.

"Yes."

"Did you do anything else?" He asked.

"Yes. We argued. He accused me of being a death eater, too. But I convinced him of the truth. Then he was jealous of Viktor Krum. Then I told him that I liked him and he told me that he liked me and I kissed him. And I remember thinking that he has really soft lips, unlike his rough hands."

The two of them just stared at me. Then, as if there had been some kind of signal that I had not heard, they both walked towards the door and stepped out into the hall. They left the door open so I could hear most of their conversation between the mumbles.

"... did you see the sneakoscope? ...didn't move ... entire conversation ... telling the truth." Remus spoke first.

"... easy ... Charlie ... account ... though ... imperious curse." This was the unmistakable deep voice of the other wizard.

"... interested in these letters... owl to the Burrow and ... letters to look at ..."

"Yes ... I'll get Charlie."

Remus re-entered the room, gave me one long, contemplative look, then and sat down at the table and began to write a letter.

Something inside my gut told me that I was about to be presented with an opportunity to prove my innocence, though I wasn't sure exactly what was coming.


	22. Chapter 22

By the time Remus had finished his letter, the tall wizard had returned with Charlie.

Tonks followed, popping her head around the corner to look at Remus. He got up, handed her the letter and whispered instructions in her ear before she withdrew and he closed the door.

When Charlie had come in he looked as calm and collected as ever. When his eyes met mine, however, I caught a twinge of nervousness. He mouthed the words "you ok?" and I nodded, partly because I wanted to reassure him, but also partly because the truth potion forced me to.

"Charlie, thank you for joining us." Remus smiled at him. "We just have a few things we would like to ask you so we can clear up some of the smaller details. To begin with, could you tell us if you have ever written any letters to Sarah?" Charlie's eyes flicked off of Remus' face onto mine for a fraction of a second before answering.

"Yes, many. I wrote to her every night, at one stage."

"I see," Remus nodded a little to himself. "And the night you accompanied Sarah to Tonks' parents house; did anything out of the ordinary occur?"

"She kissed me, if that's what you mean?" Charlie had hesitated a tiny bit before answering but when he spoke he sounded completely unfazed.

"And how did you react?" The tall wizard asked.

"Not well." A tiny smirk broke out over his face. "I ran out of there as fast as I could – not exactly the gentlemanly response to a lady's kiss."

"No, indeed," Remus nodded again. He kept glancing down at one of the magical items on the desk. From what I could tell, it was a glass spinning top that was sitting motionless on the wood. I guessed that this must be the sneeko-thing that he had mentioned when talking to the other wizard. From what I could gather, if it moved it meant I was lying but if it stayed still it meant that I was being truthful. It was completely still now.

"And how about last night? What did you do after you left the wedding?"

"I apparated with Sarah to a side street in Manchester so she would be out of harm's way, then I returned to the Burrow to help the order. When I was finished, I brought Sarah back to my place."

"Did you exchange words in the alleyway?" Remus' eyes bore into Charlie's.

For the first time, Charlie looked uncomfortable. His eyes darted back to me, then over to the tall wizard, then back to Remus.

"I- why are- I'm sorry, why is this relevant?"

"Well," Remus smiled a tiny bit, as though he had been waiting for Charlie to ask this question. "As we were questioning Sarah, we asked her to explain some of the stranger aspects of her behaviour and all of her answers centred around you. So, in order to confirm her story and therefore judge if she is telling the truth or not, we needed to make sure your stories match up. So, Charlie, did you exchange any words in the alleyway?"

"Yes," Charlie seemed to stand a little straighter, almost in defiance. He was going to do everything in his power to prove my innocence and if that meant spilling the beans on our more intimate moments then so be it. "Yes, when I reapperated back to Sarah, the first thing I did was accuse her of being a death eater. I don't think I actually believed it, it's just that everything was lining up way too neatly, I had to at least consider the possibility, just like you are. But she convinced me pretty quickly that she wasn't one. Then we discussed our feelings for each other and she kissed me."

"And did Viktor Krum get mentioned at all?" Remus asked him. Charlie turned to me with a look of incredulity and hilarity.

"How much did she tell you?! And why, it's not even relevant!"

"Oh, she told us rather a lot." Remus was smiling properly now. "Much more than we expected – or even needed - to hear. I suspect the veretaserum had quite a strong effect on her, we added quite a lot to the water."

"She had been chatting to Krum at the wedding and he had this look in his eye that bothered me but she was getting on with him just fine. So I asked her if she was interested in him and she said that she might have been if she weren't so interested in me." Charlie was trying to hide how pleased he was with the words but I could see it in his expression and I had a sneaking suspicion that Remus could, too.

"Alright then, I think I'm satisfied." Remus looked over to the other wizard. "Kingsley, do you have any questions?"

The other wizard – Kinsley – stepped forward.

"How did she convince you that she was not a death eater?"

"She never tried to defend herself." Charlie stated simply. "I was practically screaming in her face with my wand pointing right at her but she stayed completely pressed up against the wall and stared straight back at me. She didn't even look at the wand or move her hand behind her back to get a concealed weapon or anything. She was sobbing and begging but she didn't look frightened or defensive, she just looked... like a deer caught in wand light. It was obvious that she wouldn't even know how to defend herself if she tried. And I reckoned that if she was a real death eater, she would have had some sort of backup plan to get herself out of a situation like that - she probably would have attacked me long before I finally relented. There was no way she could have faked something like that. So I believed her."

Kingsley and Remus were silent for a few moments. It was hard to read either of their expressions, though I tried. Eventually Remus turned to me.

"I would very much like to believe you." He said to me. Charlie grinned.

"Then why don't you?" I asked.

"Because, I have been fooled by some excellent liars in the past and I think I have developed a kind of paranoia when it comes to this sort of thing. Occupational hazard, I suppose, when you are this involved in the Order of the Phoenix."

"I believe me." I blurted out. Remus and Charlie chuckled. Kingsley's expression didn't change.

"I'm sure." Remus replied.

Just then, Tonks returned and informed them that Arthur had just brought the letters over. Kingsley led the way out of the room, Remus close behind. Charlie remained.

"How are you?" He asked me.

"Embarrassed." The veritaserum was still forcing me to blurt out the truth. Charlie laughed.

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"Well, what else did you tell them?" He sat on the table, a little smirk on his face.

"That you have soft lips. And that we never discussed the status of our relationship." He laughed again.

"Would you like to do that now?"

"Yes. No." I quickly contradicted my first answer when I realised that the truth potion would force me to give away much more than I would ordinarily be comfortable with.

"Well, I'd like to do it now when you can't hide your true feelings." A hint of mischief danced across his face. "What do _you_ think our relationship should be?"

"I want to be a couple. I want you to be mine." The words fell out of my mouth and I felt heat creep into my cheeks.

"I see..." Said Charlie, as he looked right at me. "And why is that?"

"Because I think you are really really great." The embarrassment intensified. My subconscious was such a dumbass – it couldn't come up with anything better than "you're really great"?!

Charlie looked like he was having way too much fun.

"Do you want to know what I think?"

In exactly the same moment that I said 'yes', Kinsley rocketed into the room.

"Charlie. You shouldn't be in here alone, you're too involved with the suspect to be deemed a reliable supervisor."

And then he escorted Charlie out of the room, closing the door behind him. I heard a lock click in the door.

Kingsley could not have chosen a worse time to interrupt our conversation. Now I was being eaten alive by curiosity about what Charlie had been on the verge of saying.

They left me to stew for what felt like a long time. I had gone through in my head every possible sentence that Charlie could have said to me and every possible reply I could have given if I wasn't under the influence of a truth potion.

I stayed seated for the entire period. It was just easier to stay put rather than risk them coming in as I wandered around the room. They might accuse me of trying to escape.

When they finally did return, they looked sullen again. It reminded me of how they had looked the first time they had entered the room, except this time Kingsley looked angrier and Remus looked forlorn yet determined. They did not have Charlie with them, and for that I was disappointed. Just seeing his face made me feel a little better.

"Sarah." Kingsley led the questioning this time. They mustn't have liked whatever they saw in the letters. "We have read the letters that Charlie sent you. And we have to admit that there is very little in them to support your claim that Charlie had any romantic feelings for you while writing them."

I thought back to the letters. It was true, he had been very emotionally detached in his letters because he was trying not to get too involved with me. He had been curt and reluctant in each of the later letters, despite the friendliness of the earlier ones and he had even tried to reduce our contact. The look on Kingsley's face told me that this was not good for my case.

"Sarah, do you have Charlie Weasley under the Imperious Curse?"


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: You guys have been so good with your reviewing that you have inspired me to forgo my mountains of school work and update on a MONDAY - a full five days earlier than I had planned. :D

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"Sarah, do you have Charlie Weasley under the Imperious Curse?" Kingsley way trying to stare me out. His gaze bore into me like a laser. Remus, on the other hand, was standing with his arms crossed, his gaze upon the floor. He was obviously uncomfortable, but I couldn't be sure why exactly.

"I don't know." I said, honestly. "I don't think so. What is the imperious curse?"

"It's a spell used to control people. It's very serious, Sarah." Remus didn't lift his head as he answered my question. "I think you should try the wand test, Kingsley." He added after a brief period of stillness.

"I thought we agreed-"

"It's worth a try, at least. Don't you agree?" At last, Remus raised his head as he cut across Kingsley's sentence. He reached into a fold of his robes and pulled out a wand – I assumed it was his own.

"Stand up, Sarah." He beckoned me towards him. I rose to my feet cautiously. "Face towards the wall- No, that wall, the outer wall." He turned my shoulders so that I was standing beside him, facing the wall with the window set high into it.

"Remus, this won't prov-" Kinsley looked dubious but again, Remus cut him off.

"We have to try. We arn't death eaters, Kingsley. We owe this young lady the benefit of the doubt. We have to exhaust all possible leads before coming to a conclusion. If we don't, then we are hardly better than a group of thugs making up their own twisted form of justice."

Kinsley was quite for a second as he took in all of what Remus had said. Then, he nodded and Remus gave him a solemn half-smile.

"Here, Sarah, take this." Remus said, trying to hand me his wand.

"What will happen if I do?" I asked, scared. I had no idea how to use or control magic. What if I set fire to the whole house by accident?

"Nothing, hopefully." Remus replied, placed the thin strip of wood into my fingers.

I held as still as I possibly could. I hardly even dared to breath.

"If you could just wave it around, please, Sarah." He sounded like a teacher instructing a nervous student.

I did as he asked. I moved my arm cautiously in an upward motion. I had hardly raised it half an inch, however, when red light exploded out of the end of it and I went flying backwards.

I whacked my head on the wooden floor as I landed with a painfully heavy "thunk" then I slid along until my skull crashed into the whitewashed wall. I blacked out almost immediately.

I had no measure of how long I had been out cold but when I was reconnected to me senses both Remus and Kingsley were kneeling on the ground above me. I was hearing their conversation but none of it penetrated into my conscious thought process.

"She could have just cast a spell to make that happen."

"Yes, she could have, but I don't think she did. She would hardly have wanted to give herself a concussion and risk losing control over what she was saying."

"Perhaps the spell was more powerful than she anticipated."

"Or, maybe, she's telling the truth."

My automatic reaction was to sit up straight so I tried to engage the muscles in my abdomen to do so but hands pressed on my shoulders and held me down.

"No, Sarah, you should stay still for a moment."

I obeyed the voice without question and allowed my body to relax again. I was aware of a cold, wet feeling around my ears but my foggy brain was incapable of coming up with a reason for why this might be.

There was a loud noise and a voice thundered across the space.

"What is going on!? Is that blood!?"

"Ch-aarlie..." I tried to sit up again. I fought weakly against the hands but they held me firmly in place.

"Sarah, please stay still- Charlie, you are not helping the situation!"

"_Me _not helping?! Who did this to her in the first place?! Sarah, are you ok? I'm right here!" The feeling of a warm hand closing over my own hand distressed me even more. I fought harder against the restrainer and an odd pulsing sensation coursed through the back of my head, followed by more wetness flowing down my neck.

"No, I have to put her out, she's just going to do too much damage!"

My eyes went black once again.

This time, when I re-awoke, I was in a very different place. I was lying on a soft mattress and the light filtering through my pupils had a distinct greyness to it. Night was about to fall. I tried to sit up again to survey my surroundings but, again, someone stopped me.

"Easy now, easy." Remus' kind face stared down into mine. "You hit your head fairly hard, you shouldn't try to move too quickly. I have repaired the wound, but you might still be a little dizzy and it wouldn't be wise to overexert yourself."

He stepped back and sat into a chair beside the bed. I turned my head slowly to look at him. Even this small movement sent me reeling.

"Are you alright?" He asked with a look of genuine concern.

"Yes- Yes." The first time I spoke, the word was barely above a whisper so I repeated it.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"No... I remember seeing... red... but... No, nothing else." Remus nodded at my answer as though he had anticipated it.

"Well, Sarah, we were trying to test your capabilities with a wand and it was a little more explosive than we had expected. You see, muggles can't use wands. If they attempt to wield a wand, most of the time nothing will happen, but on occasion, a burst of residual energy is released. I believe that is what happened in this case. Unless, you had intended on blasting a hole in our wall and knocking yourself unconscious?"

"No, I don't think I had any plans to do that..." I matched the small smile he was giving me with one of my own. I was quickly coming to be very fond of Remus.

"Does that mean you believe me now?" I asked him, hopeful.

"Almost. We would like to try something else in a couple of days' time after your head has healed. But I am fairly confident that you are no death eater. We just need conclusive evidence to convince everyone else."

"Ok..." I said, meekly. "I have a really awful headache..."

"Yes," Remus nodded sympathetically. "You have suffered a mild concussion, I am afraid. And none of us here are advanced enough in our medical spells to fix it. So you will have to endure it for the moment. You should probably get some rest."

"Ok..." My eyes fluttered shut and sleep came quickly.

I was woken routinely throughout the night by Remus. I remembered seeing a program on the tv that had advised this after a concussion and if it hadn't been so irritating, I might have found it amusing that the wizards had the same form of treatment as the muggles.

After a while, I was allowed to sleep for longer stretches of time before being woken until finally I was left to sleep until I woke naturally. When my eyes did open voluntarily, I was greeted by glorious sunlight streaming in the large windows. It looked to be about midday, judging by the position of the sun in the sky.

I sat up slowly and this time no one stopped me. I was in an adorable little bedroom built into what I was assuming was the loft space in the cottage. Both sides of the ceiling sloped down like the roof above and each side had a big skylight in the middle to allow the sun to shine through. The furniture was simple but quaint and it gave the small space a cosy feel.

Remus was still in the chair next to my bed. He looked pale and ashen and his eyes were bloodshot and droopy. He clearly hadn't slept last night. He was flicking through a newspaper without much concentration.

Charlie was there, too. He was sitting in a rocking chair in the far corner, staring at me with a zoned-out look on his face. He looked to be deap in thought, until I caught his eye by sitting up. A cool grin spread over his face and he got up out of the rocking chair and sat on the end of the bed.

"Morning," He said, squeezing my foot in greeting.

"Hi," I replied. I was still a little groggy from sleep but I was happy he was there.

"Are you hungry?"

"Probably," I rubbed my eyes and contemplated my empty stomach. Right on cue, it growled loudly.

"Charlie, could you please go down and ask Tonks to bring up a tray of food for Sarah." Remus lay his newspaper to one side. Charlie looked reluctant to go but after a moment he got up and exited through a door beside Remus.

The food came quickly but Charlie did not follow I got the impression that his visitation rights were prohibited.

Tonks swapped with Remus and she came to sit in the chair to guard me. She was a lot less friendly – or, at least, she was trying to be. She kept opening her mouth as though she had been about to say something, or ask something but then she would scowl and clamp her mouth shut and her face would remain like that for another twenty minutes until her mind wandered down a different train of thought and she would open her mouth again to speak to me only to snap it shut with another scowl. She seemed to be one of those people who had difficulty not speaking.

It became pretty clear fairly quickly that I was being held as a prisoner. It was a fairly cushy prison, but still, my movements were prohibited and I was under the watchful eyes of the order every hour of every day.

I guess I still had a little bit of convincing to do...


	24. Chapter 24

After Tonks, Kingsley took a shorts shift but was interrupted about three hours in my Remus. A moonless night had fallen and Kinsley had settled in to do the long shift but Remus came into the room and informed Kingsley that he would be taking over. Kingsley looked surprised but did not object.

Remus sat down into the chair with a dark look on his face. He silently stared into space for a long time and the darkness over his face only grew and grew until he nearly looked like a different person. I expected him to remain like that all night, so I lay down on the bed, preparing to sleep.

"May I ask you something Sarah?" At the sound of his voice I opened my eyes and sat up slowly.

"Ok..."

He did not respond right away. He was quite again for a few moments before he spoke

"You say Charlie was trying to hide his feelings for you. What were his reasons? If you don't mind me asking."

"Well," I began, perplexed by his question. "He was afraid that by involving himself in my life he would just expose me to more danger. He was trying to protect me, I suppose."

"But did involve himself in your life. And you are in more danger because of it. So he was right." He wasn't looking at me as he spoke. He was gazing into thin air, absorbed in his thoughts.

"Well you could see it that way-"

"He took you out of your natural environment and dragged you into his dark, twisted, dangerous world and now you are suffering for it. Why didn't you just listen? Why couldn't you have let him go? He was only trying to protect you, what would have been so bad about allowing him to do so? He tried so hard to resist... It was clearly against his better judgement." I was beginning to get the sense that he wasn't actually talking to me. Or even about me. His eyes were glazed over and he was holding completely still in the chair, just thinking.

He had lapsed into silence and I sat for a least five minutes waiting for him to speak again but he clearly wasn't going to. I lay back down on the bed and let sleep take me.

When I woke up in the morning Remus was gone. Instead, a middle aged man whose name I did not know was sitting in the chair by my bed, reading a newspaper. He didn't even look up when I shifted in bed into an upright position.

On the side of the newspaper that faced me, I could see a large moving photograph of a very young man – maybe 17 or 18 years old – with messy dark hair, glasses and a strangely shaped scar on his forehead. The headline above it read 'Wanted for questioning about the death of Albus Dumbledore'.

I thought I had heard the name Albus Dumbledore before, but I didn't know why or who he was, and I didn't recognise the man in the picture so the story meant very little to me.

Suddenly, Tonks burst into the room, throwing the door wide open. She looked demented with rage and tears flowed freely down her face. She was brandished a slip of paper in her fist as she catapulted across the floor towards me with her wand out, pointing right at me.

"What did you say to him you little bitch?!" Light shot out of her wand as she shouted a magic word. It soared through the air and collided invisibly with my face, forcing my backwards. I almost blacked out from the pain of it – it felt like a white hot brick had smashed into my jaw.

The wizard who had been reading the paper jumped up and tried to restrain her but she thrashed so violently against his grip that he was pushed onto the ground.

"What did you do?! What is this?!" She had come right over the bed and waved the note in my face. I just about managed to read the words 'you would be better off without me' before it was gone and Tonks' own face was mere inches away from mine.

"What are you talking about?!" I shouted back. I was really starting to get frightened that she would do something really harmful.

"First my parents, now my husband- I won't let you tear my family apart, you hear!"

She raised her wand again but Kingsley and Bill Weasley flew into the room at the moment. They both flung themselves onto her and slowly wrestled her out of the room as she screeched profanities at me, calling me names that I had never even heard before but were definitely not complimentary.

I raised my hand to my mouth to try and stem the flow of blood from my mouth. The force of the spell had caused my teeth to cut sharply into the soft skin of my inner cheek and now it was bleeding profusely. The disgustingly iron-y flavour of the liquid coated my tongue and the scent of it filled my nostrils as red blood seeped into the collar of Charlies t-shirt – I hadn't changed my clothes since that morning in his house.

The wizard who had been reading the newspaper came over to me and examined the cut as best he could. He performed a few spells to stop the bleeding and to fuse the flesh back together but the skin still felt jagged and raw against my tongue.

Bill returned a few moments later. He looked anxious as he came into the room. The other man left to go and see if there was anything he could do downstairs.

"Are you alright?"

"yeah, I'm fine... What was that about?"

"Lupin..." Bill sighed. "He's run off."

"What?!" I was astonished. That didn't sound like Remus. "Why? What from?" Bill sighed again and looked reluctant.

"Tonks is pregnant."

"I don't understand. Surely that's a good thing?"

"Has Charlie told you about..." Bill hesitated, trying to gauge my reaction. "About Lupin's... problem?"

"No?" I was beginning to apprehensive.

"Remus... he's a werewolf."

I stared blankly back at Bill for a few seconds.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that he turns into a wolf at the full moon each month. It's not that big of a deal, he's used to looking after his condition, but then he and Tonks started to have feelings for each other and it all got a lot more complicated. We have no idea if the baby is going to be a werewolf too. And he feels responsible for messing up Tonks' life, so he buggered off."

"Oh..."

"Yeah..." Bill sat in the empty chair. Suddenly, his babbling from last night all made a lot more sense. He had talked of how 'Charlie' had brought 'me' into his dark and twisted world, thus compromising my safety but he was actually talking about himself and Tonks. And he thought that mine and Charlie's predicament was just more proof that two people from different worlds should not try to be together. I wished that I had said something more reassuring. I wish I had told him how happy I was to finally get to be with Charlie and that I knew I wouldn't be in danger for ever.

I tried to take my mind off of it.

"And why did Tonks mention her parents?" I asked Bill.

"Did she?"

"Yeah," I tried to remember exactly what she had screamed in my face. "She said something like 'first my parents, now my husband – I won't let you near my family' – something like that."

"Oh, that's probably because on the night of the wedding the death eaters broke into a whole load of houses that were connected with the Order and they tried to torture Harry's whereabouts out of Tonk's parents..."

"Oh my god! Are they alright!" Ted's cheery face swam in front of my eyes.

"Yeah, they're fine. No lasting damage occurred. It was just a bit nasty, you know."

"And Tonks still thinks I'm a death eater, so she blames me..." I realised this and my heart sank a little.

"Pretty much." Bill nodded. "But she is one of the few who still believe that you work for You Know Who. Most of us are pretty convinced that you're telling the truth. Though, to be honest, it would be pretty hard _not_ to think that, what with Charlie and Lupin singing your praises every waking hour." Bill smiled cheekily. It was a very similar expression to the one I had seen on Charlie's face countless times. I felt a pang in my chest as I realised that I missed him.

"Where is Charlie?"

"He's at work. He had to go back today but he'll be here later. He'll be livid that he wasn't here when Tonks went crazy. He loves being able to play the knight in shining armour." Again, Bill gave me a cheeky smile.

Bill stayed for a few more hours and we talked about anything and everything. He told me all about his new house with Fleur and how she loved being able to run her own household the way she wanted. He told me all about how the death eaters had interrogated them all after they barged into the wedding. He said that if Charlie had disapperated back to the ally a split second later then he had, I would have been standing out there in that ally alone all night.

It was a welcome relief to have someone to talk to. There was very little to do in this room and there was only so much time a person could sit in silence doing nothing.

In the late afternoon, a new witch came to relieve Bill. She had brought a tray of food for me and had told Bill that there was some left over for him downstairs. He said a cheery goodbye and exited the room.

This witch stayed until night had fallen, and a young-ish wizard took her place. I paid little attention to the changing of the watchman as it had no real effect on me.

We had sat in silence for about an hour. The house around us was quite, I couldn't hear any of movement downstairs. Everyone must have gone to bed. I wondered if they were sleeping here of if they went back to their own homes and returned in the morning. I also wondered if Charlie was here, if he had been here. Bill had told me that he wasn't allowed to come see me, but he would sit in the kitchen and try to convince anyone who sat near him of my innocence.

As I was absorbed in my ponderings, the young wizard stopped doing the crossword that he had brought with him and tucked the paper into the inside of his robes. He leaned forward and spoke in a whisper to me. This action alone was enough to startle me but the words that came out of his mouth completely baffled me.

"I was sent by You Know Who. I'm here to get you out."


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: I should have waited to release this but I got too excited. I'm still not even sure if this was a good idea or not but it's too late to change my mind now. Just remember, it was as much of a shock for me as it was for you!

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I started at the man, aghast.

Why would You Know Who have sent someone to get me? Unless the death eaters thought I was working for them, too? But why on earth would they think that?

"Excuse me..?" I whispered back.

"I've come to get you out." He was speaking so quietly that I had to partially lip read the words to understand. "It's too dangerous, their too close to blowing your cover. The Dark Lord is eager to hear about all of the information you've gathered. But we _have_ to go _now_ or we'll miss our window of opportunity."

I was flummoxed. I had no idea how to react. There was a death eater in my room trying to convince me to go leave with him. He alone was probably dangerous enough but he was bound to bring me somewhere much more dangerous. I didn't know if I should I go with him to the death eaters hide out and find out what this was all about or if I should I refuse to leave and stay here with the Order, possibly evoking his anger and death eater-ish tendencies?

What struck me the most, however, was that he didn't look much like what I would have expected a death eater to look like. He was tall and wiry with longish black hair and the chiselled features of an angel. He had the kind of face that you just wanted to trust – not the face of a killer or a psychopath, like what I assumed a death eater would have. And yet, there was something cold about his wide, green eyes, as if he had bore witness to more than his fair share of cruelty in his short life.

"I don't understand," I began, trying to get as much information as I possibly could before I was forced to make a decision. "Who are you?"

"Gaia, please, we don't have time, just come with me, I'll explain later." The man tried to take hold of my wrist and pull me from the bed but I resisted.

"What did you call me? My name is Sarah."

"No, you're name is Gaia. Gaia Dolohov. And you need to come with me right now."

Gaia. Gaia Dolohov.

As he said the name, a strange feeling of recollection washed over me but I had no idea why. I felt distantly connected with the name, and yet miles apart from it. As though it belonged to someone I had known many, many years ago but had since forgotten.

This feeling of familiarity only confused me further.

"What is going on!?" my voice almost rose to a shout.

The strange man searched my eyes, trying to work out why I was so confused. After a few seconds he swore colourfully under his breath. He rose up out of the chair and sat down on the bed right next to me, staring into my eyes.

"Gaia, it's me, Raymond. I know this is confusing, but I'm a friend. You've been confunded into thinking that you were a muggle, but you're actually a highly accomplished witch and you work for The Dark Lord. I need you to come with me right now, and then I can explain the rest later."

A wave of memory crashed down upon my mind, quickly followed by an overpowering desire to throw up.

Incomplete pictured flashed in front of my eyes – a short, dark wand in my hand, a set of black robes laid out on a bed, a long, stark white face with red eyes coming closer and closer...

But no, That couldn't be right! I was Sarah, the muggle! Other memories entered my head now, forming much fuller pictures; my messy apartment in London, Aunty Joan's smiling face, a polka dot mug full of tea.

As if in competition, another part of my brain started throwing even more memories at me – envelopes with the name Gaia written on the front, people calling that name across rooms or down corridors or whispering it from right beside me in classrooms, then my own hand writing it on the inside of a text book-

But then all I could see was the name Sarah written over and over in Charlie's handwriting, on envelopes, in letters, then his voice filled my ears saying 'Sarah' a hundred times in a hundred different inflections but always Charlie, always, always Charlie's voice.

I lurched up from the bed and stumbled around the floor, looking for an escape. Wave after wave of nausea and light-headedness battered my senses.

"Gaia?" I heard the man say in an urgent voice as he stood up and reached out to try and steady me.

"Sarah!" I tried to yell back in his face but it sounded more like a squeak.

"Gaia!" He tried to wrap his arms around me to stop me from swaying from side to side but I pushed limply away from him.

Then, I felt myself falling and my senses were once again engulfed in darkness.

I wasn't unconscious for very long, only a few minutes. When I came to, Charlie and Kinglsey were coming into the room. They must have heard the thump as I fell on the wooden floor.

"What happened?" Charlie kneeled by my head, gazing down at me.

"I have no idea!" The man who had called himself Raymond answered. "One second she was fast asleep in bed, but before I knew it, she was mumbling something, then she woke up, jumped out of bed and collapsed!"

I looked up at him from the floor and he gave me a warning look. Even in my fuddled state I understood this to mean that I should not mention anything that we had just discussed. He was trying to cover both our asses and he didn't need me to go babbling on about my possible death eater alter ego.

"Sarah, are you ok?" Charlie placed an arm around my shoulders to help me into a sitting position. I flinched as he said the name. "You're shaking like crazy!"

"Yeah, I'm fine, it was just... I had a really weird dream..." I lied, not meeting his eye.

"Did you hit your head?" Kinsley asked me. There was a tiny hint of exasperation in his voice and I think I understood why. This was the third time in two days that I had managed to get hurt under their care.

"I don't know. Maybe?" I looked back over to Raymond. He had witnessed my collapse – and caused it, but that was a separate matter - perhaps he had seen if my head had suffered any more damage.

"No, I don't think you did..." Raymond replied. "You kind of just slumped rather than fell; I reckon your head landed fairly gently."

"Daniel, tell meexactly what happened," Charlie looked up at Raymond – except he hadn't called him Raymond, he had called him Daniel. This was all way too much for my little brain to take in at once. I groaned loudly and placed my palms on either side of my temple, completely distracting Charlie.

He leaned in closer, trying to get a look at my face. On any other occasion, I would have been overjoyed by this proximity but tonight I hated it. I needed to get things straight in my own head before I could answer anyones questions.

"Sarah, what is going on?" Charlie sounded seriously concerned. "Kingsley, something has obviously happened. She's sweating like she's just run a marathon. I think she must be sick."

I felt him ease his other arm under my legs then gently lift me back onto the bed. I rolled over so that my back was facing the three men and my eyes were staring at a section of black wall.

I needed time to think. I needed someone to explain things to me. I needed to know why the hell I had to identities in my mind and which one was actually real!


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: My enthusiasm for this story has been rekindled, hurray! Things are going to get preeeeetty interesting... It also means that when I start writing I can't stop, so now I have a whole load of future content prewritten which means more regular updates! Hurraaay!

* * *

Charlie wanted to take over the watch but no one else wanted him to. Not even me. I wanted to be alone with this Raymond guy – if that was even his name. Raymond, too, wanted to be alone with me. And Kingsley didn't trust me enough to leave Charlie alone with me.

After some stern words from Kingsley and some shameless emotional blackmail on my part, Charlie finally agreed to go back downstairs. He kissed the back of my head lightly, as he couldn't reach my face from the angle I was facing. He also murmured something like "I'll see you tomorrow" or "I hope your ok tomorrow" – I wasn't paying close attention.

After their footsteps faded out of hearing distance neither me nor Raymond spoke for a solid ten minutes. I think he was waiting for me to break the silence but I couldn't even decide where I wanted to begin, so it was just easier to wait for him to lead the conversation.

"Gaia?" He said, tentatively.

"Please-" I sat up suddenly and faced him. "Can you just call me Sarah?"

"But your name-"

"I know what you think my name is," I cut him off. "But I have spent at least the last 6 months answering to the name 'Sarah'. So please just... call me that!"

"Fine." He retorted a little clipped.

"Thank you." I shot back. This did not look like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

We sat in silence for another minute.

"So, _Sarah_," He over emphasised the name as he said it. "I think we need to have a conversation."

"Yes, I think we do," I nodded.

"Where would you like to begin?"

"I don't know..." I rubbed my forehead with one hand.

"Ok then, I'll begin. Are you and that redhead together?" He sounded like he was dying to ask this question.

"Yes. Kind of." I sighed.

"Gaia, that's disgusting!" He sounded genuinely repulsed.

"Please! For the sake of my sanity, just call me Sarah! It's not that hard! And anyway, why did you tell me your name was _Raymond?"_

"Because it is...?" He looked startled. This wasn't what he expected me to ask.

"Then why did you let Charlie call you Daniel?"

"Gai- Sarah, use your head! I'm a death eater working in the middle of the Order of the Phoenix! I'm not about to just give them my real name!"

"Fine then, Raymond. What exactly do you find so disgusting about my feelings for Charlie?"

"He's a blood traitor. And a do-gooder. And a redhead." Every word he uttered was said with such venom that it was as though Charlie had mortally offended him.

As much as I hated to admit it, there was a tiny part of me that understood exactly where he was coming from. This sense of understanding was radiating from the 'Gaia' part of my brain, however. I was seriously beginning to wonder what sort of person I was- or, at least, had been.

"Raymond..." I said, solemnly. "How well did you know me? Before?" He hesitated for a long moment, a sad look of his face.

"Quite well."

"Would I... do you think I would have said the same thing? Would I have hated the Weasleys just because they were blood traitors?"

"Well, no, not strictly because of that..." He gave a small smile that was glum but nostalgic at the same time. "You had a really strong sense of loyalty. And it would have offended you that they didn't try to fight for the rights of wizards - their own people - even if there were some discrepancies in the main ideologies. You also would have resented their squeamishness, probably; the fact that they are so afraid of offending anyone that they can't even fight a war properly. In your eyes, sometimes nasty things just need to be done. They may not me very nice or pretty and you don't have to like it but standing up for your beliefs requires some sacrifices."

The way he phrased it made it sound almost admirable.

But I was still a death eater... or was I? Charlie had said that death eaters had tattoo-things on their left arms. I didn't have anything like that. But if I wasn't a death eater, why was I working for You Know Who? And how did I get involved in the first place? Who the hell was I?

"Ok, you're going to need to start from the beginning..."

"Beginning of what?" He asked, apprehensively.

"Of my life." I stated. I needed to know who he thought I was before I could decide who I actually wanted to be. Raymond laughed.

"Ok, I'll do my best. But I don't know absolutely everything. So... Your parents are Antonin and Demeter Dolohov. Your dad is a death eater, but your mum is only a supporter. You were born before the first war but your dad ended up in prison when you were still only 5 or 6. You don't have any siblings. Uh... you're really close with your mum. She didn't want you to be haunted with the name of a death eater at school, so she sent you abroad rather than letting you go to Hogwarts. You went to Italy, somewhere near the Alps, I can't pronounce the name of the school. You speak fluent Italian and basic French. Our dads were friends at school, so we spent lots of time during the summer together... Uh, what else? Oh, we're engaged. Or... we were, at least. But I guess it's on a bit of a hold now... What with the whole problem of you not even remembering your own name and everything..."

"Wait, What?" My whole body froze. Engaged? As in, to be married?!

As he had been spoke, tiny snippets of memory would float back to me. I remembered my father coming home late and refusing to tell my mother where he had been. I remembered my mother and myself picnicking in the garden. I remembered flying on a broom stick in the snow. And then, at the last sentence, I remembered an elaborate greeting card that read 'congratulations on your engagement'.

"Yup..." Raymond smiled humourlessly. "For about a year..."

Well, that complicated things substantially - even more than they had already been complicated.

"I... I'm sorry, I don't really remember a lot... I mean- we were engaged?"

His overreaction towards Charlie made sense now. He must have considered it as downright betrayal.

"Look, I know you can't remember right now," He launched into the words as he practically leapt from the chair onto the bed, right beside me again. "But you have to believe me when I say that 10 months ago you would have left with me in a heartbeat. You would have hated being here all by yourself and you were in full support of The Dark Lord. I know the confundes charm was strong – _too _strong, even – but it can be lifted. You'll remember everything. But it has to be done by a very powerful wizard, or something might go wrong and you'll lose some of your memory forever. Just come with me to the Dark Lord and everything will make sense again, I swear on my life."

I slid slightly further away from him. His intensity was almost frightening. But having his green eyes so close did trigger another memory – we were sitting on the roof of a house in the moonlight, just gazing at each other. I thought that I felt happy, but I couldn't be sure.

But this, in turn, triggered a counter memory – Charlie's clear blue eyes milimeters away from my own in the alleyway, his hands either side of my face.

Again, the counter memory was clearer and stronger than the other memory. I felt a gravitational pull towards Charlie, but I was almost repelled by Raymond.

"You haven't explained to me why I think I'm a muggle?" I was fighting to get the words out through my constricted throat. This whole double identity thing was _really _annoying.

"Well, it kind of all started when the death eaters got some information about an investigation that The Order were conducting. I don't know how they got it or why they thought it significant, but they found out that they were looking for a girl called Sarah Kingston. They got a physical description and approximate age and started to look for people that could be implanted into the area so that the Order picked up one of our people rather than the real girl. Apparently, you fit the description closer than any of the others so your father volunteered you, even though you hadn't had any real involvement with the death eaters before. You weren't a massive fan of everything the death eaters did but you felt they had the right idea and – as I said – you prided yourself on your loyalty so, naturally, when your dad asked you, you said yes – _I_ told you to say no, by the way, but I guess that doesn't even matter now."

But why was I confounded?" I interjected.

"I'm getting to that part. So the Order has been tricked by our people before – quite spectacularly, actually, and it had had some catastrophic consequences for them. It was obvious that they weren't just going to invite you into their club without so much as background check so the Dark Lord wanted you to be as convincing as possible, which meant that you really needed to believe in your story. So, he confounded you and implanted a fake identity into your head. Loads of people thought that this was a bad idea, myself included, but you can't exactly stand up and contradict him, you know? He obviously didn't realise that you were going to become a completely different person! Or that you were going to get a crush on a blood traitor..." He finished with a half humorous half disapproving look.

"So I'm not Sarah Kingston...?" I said slowly.

"No, you're Gaia Dolohov."

"But what about Aunty Joan...?"

"She was confunded too. She's just a random old lady who lives on Privet Drive. No relation what-so-ever."

"But the death eater who tried to attack me!" My breathing was growing shallower as my entire perception of reality was crumbling away beneath me.

"Yeah, you way over reacted there. He's an old friend of your dad's, he was just surprised to see you, that's all."

"No!" I contradicted him. "He tried to attack me!"

"Did he use magic against you?" Raymond asked me but he already knew the answer.

"He- He tried to kill Charlie!" I was determined to cling to this last possible fault in the story.

"He was ambushed, that's how anyone would have reacted!" He rolled his eyes.

The urge to puke was building in my stomach again. This couldn't possibly be true – any of it.

"Are you ok? You're turning a green-y colour... Gaia?" He stretched out and put a hand on my shoulder but I twisted away from it and stood up. I backed up until I felt the wall against my back and I slid down it until I was sitting on the floor, my knees pulled up to my chest.

"But what if I like being Sarah Kingston? What if I don't want to go back?" I whispered the words and I was a little surprised that Raymond could even hear them.

"Gaia... You can't be serious? All of your friends and family are on the other side of the battle."

"No, not all, actually." I was still whispering. I was remembering Remus and Ginny and Ted Tonks and Hermione and Bill and Fleur and Charlie. They were my friends, too. They were the ones that meant more to me, in this moment, than some group of distant acquaintances that I could not recall. And I didn't think I even wanted to be the person that I had been – I didn't want to be a supporter of You Know Who. I didn't want to marry this stranger. I didn't want to have a death eater for a father. Then again, Gaia probably would have said the same thing about Charlie and Remus and the Order if she had been confronted with a choice.

"Just give me a chance to remind you of what you're missing." Raymond looked at me beseechingly.

"I don't think I want to remember..." I whispered back, burying my face in my arms folded against my knees.

"Sleep on it. We can try the escape plan tomorrow." I heard him stand up, though I couldn't see him. "You would be more comfortable on the bed?"

I ignored him. There was little chance of me sleeping tonight anyway, whether I was on the bed or not.

I replayed the entire conversation over and over in my head. Each time I reached the end of it, the image of Charlie's face would float across my vision. It looked astonished and hurt – the way he would look if I told him what Raymond had just told me. And each time it was like a dagger in my side.


	27. Chapter 27

As it turned out, I did actually manage to drift off to sleep and someone had carried me to the bed – probably Raymond. I wasn't sure if I was ok with him touching me in my sleep. My discomfort was intensified when I looked up to see that he was asleep in the chair beside the bed but he was angled in such a way that I was sure he had watched me sleep before drifting off himself. I was sure he meant it in an innocent way, but I still wasn't ok with it.

I tried to imagine how I would feel if it had been Charlie and not Raymond. I decided I would probably be comforted by the idea of him watching out for me. And I guessed that I would have felt like that towards Raymond when I was still Gaia and not Sarah.

It wasn't that Raymond was bad looking. In fact, he really was quite the opposite. But he was so ready to be close and intimate with me even though he felt like a stranger to me. And the fact that he was a You Know Who supporter...

I stretched out my limbs on the mattress which made the wooden bed frame creak. Raymond was startled into consciousness with a small grunt.

"Oh, hey," he said as he rubbed his eyes.

"Hey..." I replied quietly

"Did you sleep well?" He asked. "I moved you onto the bed, you looked really uncomfortable on the floor."

I wanted to snap at him and scream nasty words in his face but I resisted, deciding that it wasn't really his fault that my life was being turned on its head. Instead, I thanked him quietly and lapsed into silence.

We passed the rest of morning in near silence also. Occasionally Raymond would try to strike up a conversation with me but my monosyllabic answers frustrated him and he quickly lost interest.

I was spending my time deep in thought. I was trying to get inside the head of a death eater, trying to see how someone could sympathise with such a grotesquely evil group of people. I was hoping that I might be able to uncover memories that had a bit more substance if I could just find something – anything – that I could relate to in the psyche of a death eater. So far, I had come to the conclusion that you had to be a sadistic egomaniac to agree to follow You Know Who; not exactly two characteristics that I aspired to...

The thought had occurred to me that this might just be some trick that the Order were playing to see if I was a death eater or not but I had solid recollections of everything that Raymond had mentioned and the Order couldn't fabric memories. Or could they?

"Raymond?" I suddenly spoke. My voice was hoarse from lack of use.

Raymond turned to look at me. He looked surprised and sceptical to hear me address him. As he twisted his head, the golden mid morning light cast shadows on his face in such a way that his impeccable bone structure was thrown into sharp relief. A tiny pang shot through my chest. At least I could understand one thing; I completely understood why I would want to marry Raymond – even if it was just to make sculpturesque babies with incredible cheekbones.

I pulled my eyes away from his jaw line with a considerable effort, determined not to get distracted. I tried to place the image of Charlie's face at the forefront of my mind.

"Is this a trick?" I blurted out the words.

"What do you mean?" He asked after a moment of hesitation.

"Is this another one of the Order's tests to see if I'm a death eater?" I turned to stare at him straight in the eye.

"No." He responded with a tone that said 'what-on-earth-would-make-you-think-that-this-was-something-as-rediculous-as-that?'

"Because if it is then I think I have proved my point. I'm not a death eater."

"This isn't a test."

"Why should I believe anything that you say?" I crossed my arms like a defiant child.

Raymond looked conflicted. It was as though he was trying to decide whether or not to tell me something.

"Look, I'll show you, but you have to come close." His voice had dropped to a whisper again. He beckoned me closer. When I didn't budge he made an exasperated noise and hopped over from the chair to the bed so that he was right beside me.

He turned his back to the door and leaned in uncomfortably close. I was beginning to get really nervous when he pulled up the sleeve of his left arm and showed me a tattoo of a skull with some kind of snake coming out of its mouth – exactly how Charlie had described the Dark Mark. He only exposed it for a split second, only long enough for me to see what it was, then he rolled his sleeve down again.

"If the Order caught me with that, I would be in _serious_ trouble. Only the Dark Lord knows how to imprint that picture onto someone's skin. I'm a death eater. Do you believe me?"

Confusion was running rampant in my head again. Would the order go as far as to fake a dark mark?

Then, in moment of truly spectacular timing, Charlie pushed open the door. He and Kingsley came into the room, looking at us huddled together with confused and suspicious faces.

"What are you doing?" Charlie asked with a similar expression to the one he wore when he confronted Viktor at the wedding.

"She was feeling faint." Raymond responded, thinking quickly. "I was trying to help."

Charlie's eyes flicked to me.

"Are you ok?" He asked. He sounded concerned but still suspicious.

"I'm ok now." I smiled weakly, trying to play the part to convince Charlie.

Kingsley brushed off the incident and addressed Raymond.

"Thank you Daniel, you may go now. You are no doubt tired after your night shift." Raymond froze. He didn't want to leave, that was clear. But he couldn't refuse to go without arousing even more suspicion. He got to his feet with stilted movements and crossed to the door slowly. Charlie watched him go with a cold look in his eyes. A weird mixture of relief and fear mingled in the pit of my stomach. This was the first time since find out about my dual identity that I had been separated from the only person who knew the truth.

"Sarah," Charlie waited until Raymond had disappeared out of view before speaking. "Kingsley has a couple more questions for you, if you're up for it?"

"Actually, they are the same questions. But I want to try the veritaserum one last time, just to be sure." Kingsley pulled a little bottle out of his robes and waved his wand to conjure a glass of clear water.

My heart almost stopped beating in my chest. A lot had changed since the first time I had answered his questions. So much, in fact, that almost every answer to almost every question would probably be completely different. If I took that truth potion I would basically be shooting myself in the foot. But I couldn't _not_ take the potion or he would know that something was up.

"You're kidding, right?" Charlie spoke up before I even had a chance to. "The _same_ questions?! Kingsley, I thought we went over this! You even admitted yourself that you believed everything she told you in the first interview!"

"Charlie we have to be sure-" Kingsley tried to interrupt but Charlie wasn't having it.

"No, Kingsley, You and Remus were going to let her go but then Remus disappears and you lose your nerve! You're only holding her here because you can, not because you need to. Let her go, Kingsley. Today. Now."

The two men stared intensely at each other in a silent macho-showdown. Kingsley was taller but his natural aura of calm was in stark contrast with Charlie's electric energy. He was used to having to dart around dragon enclosures and avoid getting charred to death or stepped on. And he was nearly ten years younger than Kingsley - I was willing to bet that Charlie had a much faster reaction time than Kingsley, which would prove to be an advantage in a duel...

Not that it would come to a duel. After a short staring competition Kingsley asked Charlie to step outside into the corridor with him. They shut the door behind them and I could barely hear muffled voices as they had a long, drawn out conversation about my fate.

I desperately wanted Charlie to win the argument. If I had to take that truth potion it would have catastrophic consequences. Anxiety gnawed away at my insides as the time seemed to stretch out into oblivion and I was forced to sit and wait.

Finally the door handle twisted and Charlie's smiling face appeared. He didn't say anything he just beckoned me forward, but I knew by the confident smile he was giving me that he was taking me home – or, at least, away from here. Giddy relief overcame me and forced me to return his smile with a dopey one of my own.

I rose off the bed and hurried to take his out stretched hand. He led me down through the house and out of the front door. We passed Raymond near the kitchen and I averted my eyes, though I could feel his gaze boring into the side of my face like lazer beams.

We apperated into the hallway just outside of Charlie's small apartment. When we came to a halt outside his door, he pulled me into a back braking hug and let out a noisy sigh.

"I was so sick of you being in there." He said beside my ear.

"Me too..." I replied, resting my chin on his shoulder and enjoying the sense of freedom that this change of surroundings granted me.

"Honestly, I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life. You a death eater? No. Not a chance."

He laughed easily and I felt his chest bounce up and down against my own as my stomach constricted. I was going to have to tell him. I would have to tell him the truth at some stage, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't. But I couldn't do it now, not when he was so glad to have me back.

I felt him pulling out of the hug and I quickly composed my face. He looked at me with his clear blue eyes and I felt a tiny fissure form in my heart as I imagined how upset he would be to find out that everything he thought he knew about me was a complete and utter lie.

The only consolation I had was the fact that I didn't have to tell him yet.

He unlocked the door and we stepped inside. Bernard was sprawled out over the couch eating an over-filled sandwich.

"Charlie, you saved her!" He said and little peices of bread and lettuce sprayed from his mouth.

"Bernard, you're disgusting." Charlie shot at his roommate but he didn't actually look angry – he looked pleased. He took my hand that was hanging by my side and as his fingers squeezed mine, guilt ballooned up inside my chest.

* * *

A/N: I know it's not my best work ever but I just wanted to be finished with the interrogation house. Thing should be getting pretty interesting in the near future however. I have another curve ball hidden up my sleeve :P Don't forget to review if you value my happiness! :D


	28. Chapter 28

Charlie made us some lunch and we sat down and talked with Bernard. I finally got a chance to ask him about his accent. It turned out that he was Austrian, so his first language was actually German but he had been speaking English from such a young age that he said it felt like his other first language. They also told me of their other roommate Stephan who I had not yet met. He was another Londoner, like me – like Sarah, at least. I didn't actually know where Gaia was from.

After a while Bernard announced that he had to leave for work. He gave us both a quick hug and accidentally deposited a small piece of lettuce that had been hiding out in his beard onto Charlie's shoulder. I leaned over and flicked it off with a short chuckle.

Once Bernard was gone, Charlie and I were properly alone for the first time in days. It felt nice and yet... tense. There was so much I wasn't telling him I was so afraid of him noticing that there was something wrong or off about me. I was working hard to keep my expression neutral.

"So why aren't you at work?" I asked as casually as I could.

"I faked a family emergency. Kingsley warned me that you might get out today," he gave me a cheeky smile. "But my boss wasn't too happy. I've been taking a lot of time off lately."

"You didn't need to do that!"

"Actually, I did," He retorted with an even wider smile. "Where were you meant to go all on your own?"

"I could have gotten a bus or something..." I said vaguely.

"To Romania?" He looked sceptical.

"No, obviously not to Romania," I rolled my eyes playfully. "To London or something. You didn't have to get in trouble at work just to pick me up!"

"But I wanted to." He slid closer to me on the couch and pulled me into a one armed hug. "Anyway, it's done now."

I savoured the feeling of his warm body against mine. I doubted there would be many more hugs after he found out the truth.

"You know we never actually finished our conversation..." he said as we pulled apart.

"Which conversation?" I asked, attempting to go over everything we had said to each other over the last couple of days in my head.

"The one about the status of our relationship." I suddenly recalled the brief conversation we had had in the interrogation room not too long before I blasted a hole in the wall with Remus' wand. It felt like a decade ago.

"Oh yeah..." I was reluctant to go through the motions with him now, seeing as everything was just going to be thrown up into the air again as soon as I told him about Gaia.

"I really like you, Sarah." He moved a piece of hair from my face as he spoke. "In fact, I might even love you. I want to be more than... well, more than whatever it is we are now. I hate not having some sort of... official connection with you that gives me the right to beat up any idiot who thinks he can win you over. I want you as my girlfriend."

"Charlie..." I could barely even look him in the eyes. I was ecstatic so hear him say these words, but at the same time I was a little bit heartbroken. He didn't know what he was saying. He didn't know that he was actually professing love for a death eater.

"Why do you look so sad?" Charlie's voice quavered with doubt. It was the first time I had ever seen anything that resembled vulnerability in Charlie. He had always been so cool and confident, solid like a rock. And to hear the quaver in his voice now gave me physical pain.

"No, I'm happy! Kind of. I _really _want to say yes to you, Charlie, more than you even realise. But..." I was beginning to realise that if I didn't tell him now I would only be making it worse for myself. But I really, really didn't want to.

"But... what? Sarah?" He pulled my chin up so I was forced to look at him.

"But... there is something you should know before you commit to this. But you have to promise that you will at least hear me out to the end. You can freak out – I fully expect you to - but you have to wait until I've explained the whole thing. Ok?"

Charlie dropped his hand that was still holding my chin. He just looked at me searchingly for what felt like a long time before he nodded.

"Ok, so last night-" I jumped right into the story but I hadn't even finished the first sentence when I was hit by a sudden realisation. I was suddenly aware of the fact that I was about to incriminate Raymond, too. He was an undercover death eater working with the Order. If I exposed him he would be in serious danger. And yet, he was quintessential to the entire story. This was going to be even harder than I thought.

"No, I can't." I stood up without really thinking about it. I was completely absorbed in my thoughts of protecting Raymond.

"Sarah, what is going on?" Charlie stood up, too, and placed his hands on my shoulders. He looked concerned.

"Can I write a letter to someone?" I asked, casting around for a pen and paper.

"What were you going to tell me?" Charlie persisted.

"I can't say yet. I have to write a letter."

"You're making me worried, just tell me what's going on."

"Charlie, please! Ask me again tomorrow and I promise, I swear on my life, I will tell you then but If I tell you know something bad might happen to someone who... Just give me some paper!"

"Fine!" He let out an exasperated noise and shuffled around in a drawer to pull out a feather quill and a piece of parchment.

I quickly scribbled down the words 'I'm telling Charlie, you need to get out' on the paper, then folded it in half and started to write 'Raymond' but halfway through the letter 'R' I changed tact, turned it into a 'D' and wrote 'Daniel'.

"Do you have an owl?" I looked up at Charlie. He was sitting down on the couch watching me. He didn't look angry, just concerned.

"Eh, there's a sort of owlery at the top of the building. I'll run it up." He held out his hand for the letter and I passed it over with only a slight hesitation. There was nothing written in it that would give us away.

He was gone for less than ten minutes. I spent the entire time just thinking about what might have happened if I had told Charlie all about Raymond. If Charlie had reacted badly he might have disapperated straight to the house and seriously hurt Raymond. That thought brought up some very complex emotions in my mind, but the overwhelming vibe was that I didn't actually want Raymond to get hurt.

When he returned he was still holding a letter but it wasn't the same one I had given him. This one was addressed to me.

"There was an owl just sitting up there with this. I don't know why it didn't bring it down here." Charlie handed me the letter. I expected it to be from Raymond, giving me instructions or something.

When I unrolled the parchment and looked down at the signature I was very surprised to see the name written there. Viktor Krum.

This was _exactly_ what I did not need right now...


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: I know I haven't updated in ages but I have been crazy busy and I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to happen at the end of this so I held off posting. But now it's here, hurray! Don't forget to review! :D

* * *

_Dear Sarah,_

_I hope you are well. I did not get to say goodbye to you after the wedding because, as you know, it ended very abruptly. I hope you are alright. I enjoyed meeting you and I was thinking that I would like for us to be friends. I really enjoyed your company._

_Yours,_

_Viktor Krum_

I sighed internally. He really did have horrible timing. I already had Charlie and Raymond vying for my affection, Viktor would just have to step aside.

"Who's it from?" Charlie looked a little nervous.

"Viktor Krum," I held out the letter for him to read.

Charlie's reaction would have been hilarious if I wasn't in such a bad mood. First, his eyebrows shot up and nearly disappeared into his hairline, then they jerked right back down to form a grumpy shelf over his eyes. Then his mouth opened to say something, but it snapped shut only a few moments later. Then he whipped the letter right out of my hand. His expression grew darker and darker as he read the words on the page.

"'I really enjoyed your company'?! Yeah, you, mean 'I want to see you naked'..." Charlie muttered under his breath as he reread the letter. After a few more seconds he composed his face and casually handed it back.

"Are you going to write back?" He asked, nonchalantly flopping onto the couch, trying to pretend that he didn't care – even though he knew that I knew he cared very much.

"I don't have enough space in my brain for Viktor Krum right now. If he really wants to be my friend than he can wait till next week..." I sat down on the couch right next to Charlie and he rested his arm around my shoulders without thinking.

"Ok then... good."

"Were you jealous for a second there, Charlie?" I smirked at him and gave him a little poke in the ribs.

"Nope." Charlie replied brazenly with one of his cheeky grin. "Because I know that if he tried to steal you, I'd just win anyway."

"Oh, would you?!" I sat forward in mock indignation.

"My irresistible charm and rugged good looks had you hooked from day one – what chances does an international quidditch player have against me?"

"I don't know about that! I think I would have to set you both tasks, so you could earn the right to have my hand. Like medieval princesses!"

"Well, I would win, I can tell you that now." Charlie slid forward so his eyes were staring right into mine. "Because I would allow _nothing _to stand between me and your hand. I can promise you that."

The same floury of nervous guilt rolled around in my stomach. I could see the sincerity in his face and yet I knew that he would eat those words when he found out...

"What did I say?" He whispered.

"What?" I looked at him confused.

"Your eyes glazed over and you looked like you were going to run for it." He made a poor attempt at his cheeky smile to hide the concern that was so clear in his eyes, especially at this proximity.

"I just... you don't know what you're saying, that's all. You don't really know what you're doing, by committing yourself to me..."

He searched my eyes, flicking from one pupil to the other. We were silent for a full minute, just staring at each other.

"Just tell me what the problem is, Sarah, and I'll fix it."

"I will tell you. Tomorrow. But you won't be able to fix it." I stood up and walked away from him. I walked down the hall to the bathroom and locked myself in. I clambered into the empty bathtub fully dressed and lay there with my eyes closed, trying to figure out a way to avoid telling Charlie the whole truth.

I was still wearing the t-shirt and jeans that belonged to Charlie – I hadn't had a chance to change. I was only now beginning to feel grimy and unclean, even though I had been wearing these clothes for three or four days. I pondered the idea of just having a bath right there and then but I had nothing to change into and I couldn't muster the energy to go out and ask Charlie for more clothes. So I sat and wallowed.

It was at least half an hour before Charlie came to find me. I heard a soft knock on the door and he called my name gently. When I didn't reply he knocked harder.

"I know you're in there. It's not a very big apartment, you can't hide. I hope you're decent because I'm coming in." I heard the lock click and the door opened behind me. My dislike for magic was beginning to grow...

I had my back to him and the door but I didn't turn around to look. I didn't need to see his face, it would only make me feel worse.

I heard him put the lid of the toilet seat down and sit on it. The toilet was placed directly beside the bath so he was now sitting directly behind me. He didn't ask me why I was sitting in the tub, however. He didn't say anything at all, actually. He just sat in silence.

"You won't like it." I mumbled. "I don't know why you're in such a hurry to find out."

"It upsets me to see you so conflicted. I just want to know how I can help."

"Well, trusty me, there is nothing you can do. Really."

"I don't understand what it is that can be so bad? Is there someone else?" The frustration was building in his voice.

"No! Well, kind of... but no. It's really complicated!" I pressed my hands over my face. My words hung in the air making the silence as thick as custard.

"What? Who?" Charlie's voice was flat now.

"No, it's not like that!" I twisted in the bath so that I was leaning against the curved side with my legs out behind me. "It just there's this guy who... I was kind of involved with, but it wasn't really me- I was- we were engaged, kind of, I think but not actually-" the words were mutating as they came out of my mouth and I hated myself more and more as each statement made Charlie flinch a little bit.

"You were engaged?" He leaned back from me ever so slightly.

"No! Well, he was engaged to the person I used to be- Oh, this is getting so muddled!"

"Just tell me what's going on here."

I looked at him. I either had to tell him the full truth or tell him nothing at all, but if I stopped talking now he would just end up brooding over this other guy and by the time I told him that I was a death eater tomorrow he might have convinced himself that he didn't really like me at all. And I needed that not to happen. So my only choice was to tell him everything.

I hoped that Raymond had received my letter by now and that he had managed to get out because I had no idea what Charlie might do – especially now that he knew that Raymond was in love me- with Gaia.

I started at the beginning. I described how Raymond had shown up in my room and tried to convince me to go with him. I told him about how Raymond had explained that I was actually Gaia Dolohov and that I was a witch and that I hadn't taken this news too well so that was why I had almost passed out that night when Charlie and Kinglsey ran in and found me on the floor. I explained that Raymond and Gaia had been engaged and that I had had a memory charm placed on me to force me to forget. And then I told him that Antonin Dolohov, my father, was a death eater and that I had been planted as a spy to collect information on the Order for You Know Who.

As I had been talking, Charlie had sat in stony silence. He just stared at me blankly. No expression, no reaction, no nothing.

The tension built up until I thought he was going to explode. I could feel tears gathering around the rim of my eyelids.

"I don't know what to do..." I whispered, finally.

"Neither do I..." Charlie replied, as disgust started to spread over his features.


	30. Chapter 30

"Charlie...?"

He was staring straight through me, lost in thought. His eyes were unfocused but the look on his face worried me. He looked like he had just bitten into a lump of mould or something – his features looked disgusted.

"Huh," He laughed humourlessly. "You're right, I can't fix that."

I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't know what I _could _say to make this situation any better. My mind was racing at a hundred miles a minute trying to formulate a sentence that would save me from the worst of Charlie's anger and horror.

Suddenly his eyes snapped back into focus and fixed on me.

"Why did you tell me?" He asked. He didn't sound accusatory, just confused.

"Do you wish I hadn't?"

"Yes." He replied immediately but then he contradicted himself. "No. I- I would have- No, knowing is better." He looked like he was trying to convince himself.

"Are you angry?" I whispered. I was partially hiding my face behind my knuckles as my hands gripped the edge of the bath.

"Yes." His retort was, again, instantaneous. Except this time he didn't change his mind.

"It's not really my fault..." I was weakly attempting to defend myself but I was sounding like a cowardly child.

"Oh, isn't it?" Charlie's voice was suddenly bitter and the volume of it steadily escalated as he spoke. "Didn't you voluntarily impersonate a muggle? Didn't you deliberately infiltrate the Order? Didn't you send a sneaky little letter to your murdering fiancé so that he could escape before I discovered his true identity?"

"Charlie, I couldn't let him-"

"What?! You couldn't let him- what, Sarah? Pay for his crimes? Be brought to justice? Just how much do you care about this guy, Sarah?" Charlie was on his feet pacing up and down in front of the bath now.

"Hardly at all!" I pulled myself up into a kneeling position.

"Huh!" He span around to glare at me. "You care about him enough to risk your own safety just to deliver him a warning!"

"I couldn't not warn him!" I protested indignantly.

"Why?! They torture people for _fun_, Sarah! You think just because he's good looking that he isn't as vile as the rest of them?!"

"No, of course I don't! You don't understand!"

"Oh, no, I understand!" he was bellowing now. His rage and frustration had built up in him and now it was exploding out. "I am perfectly capable of realising that you only kissed me because you wanted to get closer to the Order! I'm not an idiot, Sarah! Or should I call you Gaia? Who are you, anyway?!"

I looked him directly in the eye. Pain and confusion were visible under the anger. I knew that he must have felt betrayed and foolish for thinking he could trust me. And that felt like a dagger in my side.

"I don't know who I am, Charlie..." I muttered, dropping my gaze. "That's the problem."

In the corner of my eye I saw his arm twitch, like it had reached out towards me. But then he balled up his fist and moved silently out of the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

I curled up into a ball in the bath and sobbed.

I wasn't crying just because of Charlie – though he was a contributing factor. I was crying because I was like a child lost in the supermarket. I thought I was in a familiar place, with someone I trusted to guide me through. But as soon as my trusted companion vanished from sight, I had no idea where to go or what to do or even who I was. And the most frustrating part was knowing that I should be able to lead myself around the magical world, seeing as I was actually a witch, but because of the memory charm, I couldn't.

And now I had one more thing to think about - my real feeling towards Raymond. Charlie was right, I must care a little bit about him if I was willing to endanger by standing with the Order and with Charlie just for his safety. But the fact of the matter was that I had no idea as to what degree of affection I felt for him. Was it just a moral obligation to repay the favour of helping me discover my true identity? Or was it dormant feelings of love that were emerging from the Gaia part of me?

I was also concerned about the other thing Charlie had said about Raymond; the murderer bit. Charlie had told me things about the death eaters. He had told me about the horrific things that they did to people and the immoral reasons behind their actions. He had told me about people he knew who had suffered directly, like his uncles who had been murdered by them in the first war and his brother, Bill, who had been mauled by an unchanged and in control werewolf and his father who had deliberately been near-fatally attacked by You Know Who's snake.

I didn't want to think of Raymond like that, but in all honesty, I had no idea if he had been part of the crimes or not. It was intensely disturbing to think that I might have been romantically involved with a torturer.

But I wanted to love _Charlie_, not Raymond! I wanted to be engaged to the rugged redhead with enormous shoulders and calloused fingers, not the cold, sculpted, dark haired boy with little consideration for personal space. But if it was as easy as just deciding who I wanted to love than I wouldn't be in this position right now.

Night had fallen by the time my tears stopped completely. I had used up all of my energy in the argument and the sobbing marathon. Now I just lay in the dark with my cheek sticking awkwardly to the fibreglass bathtub as cold water dripped from the leaky tap onto my toes.

Viktor Krum's letter floated back to me then, for some reason. I tried to imagine how I might have felt upon reading his words if I hadn't been in love with Charlie. This proved quite difficult to do because Charlie had become such an integral part of my identity as Sarah. I reckoned I would have been flattered. And I probably would have sent a flirtatious letter right back. Viktor was quite good looking in a surly, bad tempered kind of way...

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted then by the door being pushed open. I assumed it was Charlie but I didn't make any attempt to adjust my position.

"Did no one think to warn me that there's a random girl in our bathtub?" A voice I didn't recognise spoke from the doorway.

"What?" I heard Bernard's voice call down the hallway, quickly succeeded by footsteps.

"Hey, it's Charlie's girlfriend!" Bernard was now in the doorway also. "Would you like us to show you how to use the taps...?" He sounded confused.

"No," I sat up, rubbed my cheek where I had yanked it painfully off of the fibreglass and clambered out of the bathtub. I caught sight of myself in the mirror that hung over the sink, but I barely recognised myself. My eyes were swollen and puffy and there was a big red mark on the part of my face that had spent the last three hours stuck to a bathtub.

"I'm going." I turned to leave the bathroom. Bernard and a tall, weedy man were blocking my way. I assumed that it was Stephan. He had neat, dark hair and square glasses and he had the look of a sweet kind of person.

"No, don't go, you don't have to bathe if you don't want to! We can tolerate your stench!" Bernard gave me puppy dog eyes.

"I can't stay, Bernard, I've got to- be somewhere." I tried to squeeze between them both. Stephan moved out of my way as much as he could in the limited space of the bathroom but Bernard deliberately obstructed my passage. I gave him a cold glare and he shifted to the side looking sheepish.

Charlie was waiting in the hall.

"Don't be ridiculous..." He said with a sort of resigned tranquillity to his voice. He turned me around with one hand on my shoulder and then walked with me down the corridor to his room. I didn't fight him.

We got to his room and he sat me on the bed. Then he closed the door and leaned his back against it with his arms crossed.

"Are you still mad?" I asked tentatively.

"Yeah..." he nodded slowly. "But that was inevitable." He smiled sardonically.

"I guess so..."

"Sleep here tonight. I'll talk to you about it in the morning." He made to leave.

"Charlie?" He paused with his hand on the handle. "I kissed you because I love you. I just wanted to say that."

Then he left.

As the door clicked shut again I saw hanging on the back of it was my lilac dress, neatly placed on a clothes hanger. It seemed to represent a different era. The wedding wasn't even a week ago, but it felt like decades had gone by. So much had been flipped upside down in the time it had taken to get here. At the wedding, Charlie hadn't even confessed that he liked me... I had only had four days of romance with Charlie, and now it was all over.

I flopped onto the pillow and closed my eyes. Sleep came quickly but the dreams I had were almost as bad as reality. Most of them featured Raymond doing terrible things to Charlie and for the most part I was stuck in a cage shrieking for him to stop and let Charlie go. But in some of the dreams I was lounging on a couch egging him on.

And, at one point, it was me holding the wand, shooting curse after curse at Charlie, laughing manically, enjoying myself immensely...


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: Short and sweet but at least its an update, right? Remember to review! :D

* * *

I woke up in the early hours of the morning with an intensely uncomfortable dry thirst in my throat. I attempted to ignore it and fall back asleep but the more I tried to force it out of my mind, the more aware I became of it, which only made it more uncomfortable.

The light coming through the window was the soft, grey kind from the pre-dawn hours. I wanted to go back to sleep, but I knew I wouldn't be able to until I had a glass of water, but I also knew that in order to get a glass of water I would have to walk through the living room where Charlie was sleeping. The last thing I wanted was to bump into him now. I wasn't in much of a mood to have another shouting match with him. But if I tiptoed past him, surely I would be able to avoid a confrontation?

I help out for as long as I could but soon I was suffering too intensely to lie in bed for much longer. I clambered out of the covers and creped along the hallway trying to be as quiet as I could. When I reached the living room, however, I quickly realised that I needn't have bothered being so quite.

Charlie was sitting bolt upright on the couch with a thin sheet tangled around his legs. His shirt and jeans lay discarded on the floor and he stared straight ahead, lost in thought.

There was a brief moment where he hadn't noticed me hovering in the doorway and I contemplated tiptoeing back to the room but, as I shifted my weight slightly, the floor boards creaked and Charlie's head turned in my direction. So much for tiptoeing past...

I took a deep breath and stepped into the room. I gave him a half smile in greeting, then continued to walk towards the sink. I didn't turn to talk to him until I had gulped down one glass of water and refilled my cup.

"Have you been awake long?" I asked. My voice sounded gruff and I had to clear my throat before I could get the words out.

"I never went to sleep..." he replied, matter of fact.

"Oh." I sipped my water awkwardly. "Why not?"

"Too much on my mind."

I didn't want to get into this right now. I didn't want to start the conversation at 4 am when neither of us had had a decent night's sleep or adequate time to process the day's events. I wanted to wait until we had both calmed down a bit and were able to look at the situation objectively. But my mouth acted independently of my brain and, suddenly, in one sentence all of my plans were thrown out the window.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I heard the words coming out of my mouth and I wanted to suck them back in immediately.

"I suppose we have to eventually..." Charlie shrugged and I let off a sting of profanity in my head.

"I suppose so..." I was such a feather-brained idiot sometimes.

"So... you're a death eater?" He didn't look at me as he spoke and I could tell he was trying to keep his voice sounding casual.

"Well, only by association, I guess. I never signed up. But all my family and friends are – from what I could tell."

"And you're engaged to one?"

"Yes. I _was_. It's kind of on hold now, considering that I don't remember anything about him."

"That's understandable." Charlie nodded his head. He was fidgeting with the sheet and avoiding eye contact. The air was so thick with awkward tension that I could have cut through it with a butter knife.

"How long have you known?"

"Only a few days."

"How long have you been a fake muggle?"

"I'm not sure. Months."

"Are you glad you found out the truth?"

"No. I really regret find out, actually." His eyes flicked up and he looked at me for the first time.

"Are you not happy to know who you really are?"

"No, I'm really not. I was happy being Sarah, she's nice. But Gaia doesn't sound that great, really... She agreed to marry a murderer – well, a potential murderer."

"Why are you talking like that?"

"Like what?" I looked at him confused.

"Like they are people you know rather than your own personality?"

"Oh," I realised what he meant and understood why he thought it was strange. "Well, I guess I don't know which one is actually me."

"Which one do you identify with more?"

"Sarah... I think."

"Why?"

"Because. I have no idea who Gaia is. But I have been Sarah for the last so many moths, she _feels_ like me because she _was_ me. And I haven't been Gaia in a while. So I'm out of sync. Does that make sense?"

He looked at me for a long moment. His steady gaze made me nervous. A sense of weariness was muting all of my emotions, however. I wasn't in the mood to examine my motives or my feelings. I just wanted to sit on the couch beside Charlie and bury my face in his shoulder and go to sleep with his arms around me. But I didn't think he would be too happy if I got that close to him. So I stayed put, waiting for him to speak.

"We have to lift that memory charm." He finally declared.

"How do you plan on doing that? According to Raymond, only a really powerful wizard can lift it."

"We have powerful wizards in the Order. If we didn't we would be pretty useless, don't you think?" A tiny smile broke over his face and it made me immensely happy. It disappeared soon after but the fact that it had been there at all meant that Charlie was coming back to his old self again.

"Are you still mad at me?" I asked suddenly.

"I'm too tired to be mad, in all honesty." He sighed and rubbed his face. "And I do realise that it wasn't really your fault. Or at least it wasn't really Sarah's fault. But I don't think much about this Gaia person."

"Would you still love me if I was Gaia?" I almost didn't want to know that answer, but I asked anyway.

"No, probably not. You wouldn't be the same person to me." His reply was brutally honest and it stung, but I did understand.

"But Sarah and Gaia must be a little similar. I mean, changing someone's memory isn't going to change the fundamental make up of their personality?"

"I hope that's true." Charlie looked at me straight in the eye. "Because it would kill me to see 'you' walking around, and yet know that I've lost _you_ forever."

"I don't want to hurt you..."

"I don't want to lose you." His eyes bore into my for a few more moments, then he half smiled. "Now go to bed, you look like crap."

I rolled my eyes teasingly, but did as he said. As walked past the couch to the door he caught my hand and gave it a quick squeeze before letting me go.

I crawled back under the covers of Charlie's bed and closed my eyes much happier than when I had opened them.


	32. Chapter 32

The next day Charlie had work.

And Bernard had work.

And so did Stephen.

I was in the house all alone. And Charlie had locked the door so I couldn't leave. I guess I still had some trust building to do.

He had left a note for me on the fridge. It read:

_Hey Sarah,_

_Gone to work, just stay here and chill for a few _

_hours, we won't be too late home._

_Charlie_

There was very little to do in his apartment. He didn't have a television. He did have a radio but I couldn't figure out how to turn in on. The books he had were limited. I dug out the book I had begun reading on the first morning that I had been in Charlie's room after the wedding; 'When The Moon Strikes', about the werewolf who was semi-alert during his transformations and got sucked into an elaborate criminal scheme. I read the rest of it in a few hours but I didn't understand the ending at all.

Then, I took a long, luxurious bath and scrubbed myself clean. I even used some of the mysterious bath products that the boys had left on the shelf. They were in unbranded, unlabeled, unrecognisable bottles but the products themselves smelled like men's shower gel, and one of them reminded me distinctly of the scent from Charlie's hair, so I used them. Once I was dry again, I rooted through Charlie's drawers and found some clothes that looked too small for him.

After that, I didn't really know what to do with myself. I went and sat on the couch and stared around the room. I tried to imagine that Charlie was sitting beside me and that I had never told him about Raymond or Gaia or any of that crap. I just imagined that we were together and we were in love and we were just hanging out like a normal couple...

But the memory of the expression on Charlie's face when I told him the truth kept butting in and ruining my fantasy.

Then suddenly, as though the universe was taking pity on my boredom and had sent something to entertain me, there was a knock on the door.

I froze on the spot. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I answer it? Was I allowed to be here in this apartment? What if it was Charlie's landlord and he kicked me out and I was forced to wander aimlessly around Romania for the rest of my life?

What if it was Raymond? What if he had come to rescue me again? What if he forced me to go with him and he took me to He Who Must Not Be Named and I never saw Charlie ever again?

What if it was the Order?! What if they had found out that I was a death eater and they had come to punish me? Did Charlie tell them what I was? Would he really betray me like that?

As the seconds stretched out I became more and more panicked as disastrous possibilities built up in my head. Then I suddenly remembered that Charlie had locked the door and, even if I wanted to open it, I couldn't. But would a locked door actually hinder any of the people I had listed in my head?

The knocker wrapped on the door again, however, more insistently. I was about to call out and ask who was outside but the knocker got there first.

"Charlie, it's Remus Lupin, are you there?"

I let out a loud 'oh!' of surprise, forgetting that I was meant to be pretending that no one was home.

"Hello?" Remus' voice called through door. He had obviously heard me.

"Ehm, Remus? It's Sarah, Sarah Kingston? Do you remember?" I got up and walked closer to the door.

"Oh yes, the muggle girl. What are you doing in Charlie's apartment?"

"Uh, he brought me here, actually. Cuz I had nowhere else to go. Why are you here?"

"Well," I heard him hesitate. "I guess I'm the same as you. I have nowhere else to go, either... Can you let me in?"

"I would," I replied truthfully, "but Charlie's locked the door and I don't have a key or anything."

"Stand back, I'll see if I can open it."

I stumbled back a few paces. The lock clicked and Remus stepped in through the doorway. He regarded the lock with a concerned look on his face.

"I'm going to have to talk to Charlie about his security," He muttered, more to himself. "Getting into his home should not be as easy as using Alohamora..." He closed the door and cast a different spell. I heard the lock click again.

Remus stretched out a hand for me to shake. He looked even more tired and forlorn than usual and there was a nasty cut on his knuckled where it looked like he had punched a wall or something.

"I'm sorry for my abrupt arrival," He smiled apologetically. "But I'm glad to meet you again in more amiable circumstances."

"Oh, yeah, the last time we spoke, your wife attacked me!" The words fell out of my mouth and I wasn't really sure why I allowed myself to say them. Remus' eyebrows rose.

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, I-" I stuttered, trying to back track. "Well, you just disappeared and she thought I had something to do with it so she... kind of attacked me."

"Well I'm sorry to hear that. It wasn't my intention to involve you in the matter." He looked like a man struggling with a gigantic inner turmoil. The crows feet at the corners of his eyes intensified and he looked older and wearier just thinking about his wife. I was no expert on relationships but I was pretty sure that that shouldn't be his immediate reaction whenever the supposed love of his life was brought up in conversation.

"Did I have anything to do with your disappearance...?" I asked after a moment of silence. I remembered that the night he left he had spoken to me about my relationship with Charlie and, unbeknownst to me at the time, had drawn comparisons between Charlie and I and him and Tonks. I also remembered Bill telling me that morning about Tonks' pregnancy and Remus' condition. So many factors had contributed to Remus' departure but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was partly responsible for breaking up his marriage.

"I won't pretend that you weren't a partial factor," he nodded solemnly. "But I had made the decision to leave long before I came to talk to you." His eyes met mine and I watched as his face melted in front of my eyes. "You can't understand the pain I'm in, Sarah. Please don't judge me before you even know what I'm going through!"

"I wasn't judging..." I trailed off. I barely knew this man, how could I possibly pass judgement? He had always been nice enough to me, at least. And anyway, I wasn't in much of a position to judge other people on their actions, considering my history and my general acquaintances.

"That's why I'm here. I can't go back to my wife. Or my friends... I just needed somewhere to stay."

"Where were you for the last few days?"

"Trying to find Harry Potter... Then drinking profusely." He gave me a humourless smile. I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with the amount of personal information Remus was giving me but there was very little I could do about it so I did my best to look sympathetic.

"Well, it's ok. I'm sure Charlie won't care that you're here..."

Then he caught sight of the book 'When the Moon Strikes' on the countertop where I had left it after I had finished reading it. He smiled and walked over to pick it up.

"Were _you_ reading this?" He asked me.

"Oh, yeah, but a lot of it just went straight over my head, me being a muggle and all..."

"Really? What didn't you understand?"

He explained the book to me, prompted by my questions. That lead us into a conversation about general werewolf-isms and he told me what it was like to be a werewolf and to transform and about all of the prejudice that existed in the wizarding world. There were a few times when I thought my questions might be a touch insensitive but he kept answering so, in true stupid-Sarah fashion, I kept blurting them out.

Eventually the conversation drifted into other aspects of the wizarding world. We talked for a long while until eventually Charlie came home from work and was shocked to see Remus sitting on his couch.

"Remu- but how did you- I thought the door was locked?" He looked from Remus to me to the door, then back to Remus.

"Yes, well I got through your 'locked door' with Alohamora, Charlie. I think we need to have a talk about security."

"You what?! Alohamo- I am going to kill Bernard! I give him _one job!" _Charlie looked utterly exasperated. Then his expression suddenly turned cold and looked stern and suspicious. "Sarah, did anyone else visit?"

"What- no!" I was startled by the question and I was immediately defensive. "Who else would come here?"

"You tell me. None of your friends decided to take advantage of my absence?"

"No, Charlie. No one even knows I'm here!"

We had a short staring match as Charlie tried to decide whether or not he should believe me. Remus looked from one face to the other.

"Am I missing something?" He asked in his mild voice.

"No." Charlie replied briskly. Then he seemed to reconsider. He turned to look at Remus. I saw in his eyes what he was about to do before he even opened his mouth. I leaped up from my seat in shock.

"Charlie, I don't think that's a good idea!"

"Calm down, Sarah, Remus could help us. In fact, he could probably take away the memory charm for you."

"Memory charm...?" Remus looked even more perplexed.

"Remus, before I explain, it's crucially important that you promise to hear me out fully before you react." Charlie said, moving to sit on the arm of the couch. I wandered into the kitchen area and gripped a counter top to balance myslef. I wasn't sure if I could handle another explosive reaction.

"You have my word." I heard Remus say.

"Well... As it turns out, Sarah actually is a death eater spy. Ironically."

And so he launched into the explanation.

* * *

A/N: Ok lads, you have a decision to make. Something is going to happen in the next chapter but, depending on your answer to my question, there could be one of two possible outcomes. So, do you want more dramatic action scenes or more emotional Sarah/Charlie scenes? Let me know in the comments! :D


	33. Chapter 33

Remus took the news remarkably well. At least, he didn't shout, or make any absurd accusations or glare menacingly – and that, in my books, definitely constitutes as a semi-favourable reaction.

When Charlie had explained the entire situation to him, Remus turned to me standing in the kitchen and asked me some predicable questions like how long had I known and how much did I remember. He looked like he was taking the information in his stride. I guessed that decades of experiencing harsh werewolf prejudice must have made him a very forgiving and understanding sort of man.

"So... Do you think you can remove the memory charm?" Charlie asked tentatively when Remus seemed to have run out of questions.

"Well yes," Remus replied, still looking at me. "I probably can. If that's alright with you- um, what should I call you? Sarah or Gaia?"

"Sarah's fine," I answered him at the same time that Charlie said "of course that's alright with her."

Charlie eyes met mine and we both looked at each other for a moment with confusion.

"Isn't it, Sarah...?" He said it like he was trying to pressure me into saying yes. But I wasn't sure if that was what I wanted.

"I- not just yet, maybe..." I felt blood rising to the surface of my face as my thoughts flustered around my head.

"What does that mean?" Charlie stood up from his position on the arm rest of the couch.

"Well I don't know if I want to remember, Charlie." I gripped the counter top behind me.

"Why wouldn't you want to remember?" He took a few steps towards me. He looked confused.

"I'm not sure if I want to know who I was or- or what I've done. What if it's bad?"

"Then you should know. You should know who you are."

"But what if I'm a completely different person, Charlie? You said-" I glanced swiftly at Remus. This conversation was about to become about mine and Charlie's relationship and I wasn't sure if I wanted Remus to be there to witness it. "You said you didn't want me to change, remember?"

"Remus, tell her," Charlie had seen my glance at Remus and decided that he was going to use his friend as an ally against me rather than let me elbow him out of the conversation. "Tell her that it's important for a person to understand their background in order for them to understand who they really are."

"Well, that is certainly one argument," Remus nodded. "But I'm not sure if it necessarily applies in this case." Charlie whipped around.

"Why wouldn't it? If she was a death eater than surely that affects the kind of person she is?"

"Well no, not necessarily. We are all victims of circumstance. We are products of our environment. Just because Gaia might have been raised to believe certain moral principals does not mean that Sarah has to believe them, too."

"Yes, it does. Changing her memory does not change the person that she is, you said that to me, Sarah." It was obvious that Charlie was getting very worked up about the whole issue but Remus was still calm as ever.

"But Charlie, you know who she is. You know her personality. Why would it change?"

"Because she was a death eater, Remus! Have you forgotten what that means?"

"We are not born with a natural sense of right or wrong, Charlie. If we were then we wouldn't need to teach children not to hit their siblings or throw things at animals or all of the other little things that young children do that adults don't. We are all born with certain traits, but morality isn't actually one of them. It does _affect_ our personality, however, and our personality does affect our morality, the two things are not mutually exclusive, but the difference is that your personal traits are given at birth, whereas your moral principals are learned through life experience. So, to say that just because Gaia believed certain things means that Sarah must believe them would be incorrect."

"But- if that is the person she has been all her life then surely that is the person that she truly is, right?" Charlie looked beseechingly at Remus.

"No, I don't think so. As I said, we are all products of our environment. Gaia was raised by death eaters and no doubt her core value system would reflect that. But Sarah was never exposed to any of that. She was given a new identity and the chance to form her own world views. So, I would be willing to bet that this version her personality is as close as you will ever get to the true, uninhibited version. But, if you were to re-expose her to her old memories than there is a chance that she will revert back to her old self. Is that something you need to think about?"

Charlie looked back at me. He stared at me for a long time. It was the first time that he had ever looked truly small to me. He looked small and vulnerable as he stood there trying to decide what to believe.

"Why is it so important for you to know who I was?" The words came out of my mouth as a whisper.

"Because I want to know who I am in love with... and I want to know if you actually love me back or if you just think you do because you don't know any better."

I didn't have an answer for him. I didn't know who I really was. And I didn't know what love actually felt like, so I had no idea if I felt it for Charlie for real.

I agreed with what Remus said, to a point. But I was scared that he was wrong and that I was actually a horrible person and that the entire 'Sarah' personality was completely fabricated and that I would lose Charlie. But if I was a different person, would I even still love Charlie? Raymond was pretty convinced that Gaia was in love with _him_. I didn't want to stop caring about Charlie...

But what if Remus was right? What if I had formed my own world views and opinions and I had managed to rewire my internal moral compass so that any of the moral beliefs that Gaia had would be put right and the two personalities came together and lived within my mind in harmony?

"What are you thinking?" Charlie finally asked me.

"I'm thinking about how scared I am to become a different person..." I told him honestly. "And I'm thinking about how much I don't want to lose you." I saw Remus shift in his seat a little but I ignored him.

"Maybe we should give ourselves the rest of the day to think about it and decide on a definite plan tomorrow." Charlie looked to Remus for approval.

"I think that's a good idea." Remus smiled.

"So, whose hungry...?" Charlie moved to the kitchen cabinets then, and, with all the false bravado he could muster, began making small talk as he prepared diner for both me and Remus.

Bernard and Stephen didn't come home until long after we had finished eating. We were listening to the wizarding radio in tense silence when Charlie's two roommates returned together. They lightened the atmosphere considerably and Bernard told us some highly amusing stories about being alone in the egg sanctuary when a vicious baby dragon decided to hatch violently and caused a domino effect whereby all of the other eggs around it started to break open and Bernard was stuck in a room full of highly flammable cushioning and rampaging baby dragons who had just discovered that they could breath fire. The story was made even funnier by Stephen and Chalrie's exasperated reactions.

Not long after, I announced that I was going to bed. It was still relatively early but my head was so full of 'what if's' that I simply could not sit there and make pleasantries any more.

When I stood up Charlie got to his feet also. He followed me down the corridor to his room and stepped inside behind me, closing the door.

My heart was beating faster as I faced him, waiting for him to speak.

"You better say what you need to say fast or Bernard will be making lurid comments for weeks..." I made a half hearted attempt at a joke with a lame laugh at the end. He didn't even smile.

"Sarah, I just want to say that I'm sorry I sucked you into this. I feel... completely responsible. And I'm sorry." He looked at me with genuine guilt in his eyes.

"What are you saying, Charlie, it wasn't you that asked me to spy on the order?"

"No, but I didn't erase your memory that day in the park. Instead, I made the stupid decision to involve you in this mess. And then I didn't push you away when I realised that you were getting emotionally attached. I over complicated this all for you..."

"No." I stepped forward and put a hand on his arm. "None of this is your fault. So stop talking crazy."

"I just- I do love you, Sarah. I do. And I hate it."

His last words stung. I took a step back.

"Well _I_ like that you love me..."

"Just get the charm lifted. _Please_?" He stepped forward so that he was closer to me than he had been in days.

"But I'm scared, Charlie! Terrified, actually!" My voice quavered on the last few syllables.

Charlie's eyes locked into mine.

"You are such a jackass, Charlie Weasley." The words were meant to be angry but I was slowly dissolving into tears so my voice wobbled unconvincingly. The next thing I knew, he was clutching me to his chest and I was crying softly into his shoulder.

"I know, Sarah, I know. I am such a jackass."

"Well then stop being one!" The words were barely discernible since they were muffled by his shirt and the my voice was still very wobbly.

"Okay," He almost laughed. "I'll try."

"Okay then."

I wrapped my arms around his wide chest and just let him cradle me. It was at least three or four minutes before either of us said anything.

"Just get the charm lifted..." Charlie whispered the words close to my ear, almost begging.

I hesitated, then I pulled away from him. I could see the pleading in his eyes. I couldn't understand why he was being so persistent.

"Why can't you be happy with who I am now?"

"I am, Sarah. I'm so happy, it hurts. But I know that it's not actually real. You're a fictional character, technically. Nothing about you is _genuine_. And that's far more painful, because you are so perfect, and so amazing... but your just a fake. A false persona. So I want to know who I've really fallen in love with, and If I could love you for who you actually are. Or else it will haunt me forever."

I wanted to go back and quote everything that Remus had saif that afternoon. I wanted to point out to him that everything I had said and done in the last month _was _genuine because I had believed it all. But I didn't have the energy. And he wasn't going to listen.

"Ok." I nodded. "Ok, I'll talk to Remus. I guess we'll get to meet Gaia after all."


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: I know, I know, it's been ages, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! Hopefully this will make up for it. :D But just a little warning - don't get used to this, it's just a once off thing! (For the moment, anyway :P)

* * *

Charlie's POV

I had been twisting and turning all night – partly because I was sleeping on a really uncomfortable mattress in Bernard's room with his snoring echoing around the walls, but also partly because I couldn't get Sarah's expression out of my head.

"_You are such a jackass, Charlie Weasely"_

"_You are such a jackass, Charlie Weasely"_

"_You are such a jackass, Charlie Weasely"_

The words repeated over and over in my mind as I mentally watched her eyes fill with tears and a tiny part of my soul shrivelled and died.

I knew that what I was asking her to do was selfish and unfair and cruel. But I couldn't help myself. I needed to know.

I had told her that I wouldn't love her if she was a death eater – but that wasn't strictly true. I would always love _her_, but I would hate what she was. It was something of a deal breaker.

So I tossed and I turned and I tried to figure out if I was really shallow enough to hold her past against her when she had been nothing but sweet and lovely and amazing for the entire duration of our acquaintance.

Bernard let out a particularly loud grunt and I repressed the urge to bash him with my pillow. I longed to be back on the short couch in the living room where it was quiet and I could think in peace. But I had given it to Remus. In fact, where I really wanted to be was my own bed, with Sarah sleeping soundly beside me.

I wanted so badly for her to be real. But I couldn't get around the fact that she was a fake person and that everything she was to me was false. At least, that's how it felt.

"_You are such a jackass, Charlie Weasely"_

I really was a class A jackass.

Then the thought of her death eater fiancé intruded again into my thoughts. Ever since she had explained to me the full situation with this guy, I had had a bad feeling. There was a big part of me that believed that the second she regained all of her old memories she would scurry off back into his arms and live a happy existence without me. And that thought hurt more than a dragon-fire burn. I kept seeing her smiling face staring adoringly at this other guy as I watched from a distance and it made me want to either crawl into a hole and die or punch him in the face and kick his brains out.

And yet, I knew deep in the pit of my stomach that if she came to me and said that she wanted to be with him then I wouldn't stop her. Her happiness was far, _far_ more valuable to me then my own. And I guessed that that was another reason I was so eager for the memory charm to be lifted. I didn't want her to think she was in love with me just because she didn't know any better. I didn't want to force her to stay with me by allowing her real feelings to be suppressed by magic. I wanted her to be 101% sure that she was making the right choice by giving her love to either me, or that Raymond guy, or even Viktor Krum, if she wanted, but it had to be her decision and I didn't want magic to be involved.

But I did want her to pick me. I wanted it more than I would ever admit.

The sun stared to rise and light illuminated Bernard's ugly-ass curtains. I sighed heavily and pushed the covers off of myself. I went out to get a glass of water, creeping across the floor as quietly as I could so as not to wake Bernard or Remus on my travels. I stopped outside my own room on the way back and pressed an ear against the door, straining to catch a sound from within but I heard nothing. I wanted to go in and just look at her and make sure she was sleeping soundly, but I didn't want to seem like a creep. I stood in the hall deliberating for a long time before finally deciding that if I was quiet then she would never need to know I was there. I twisted the handle and pushed the door slowly.

It took my mind a few moments to process what I was seeing. But when it finally clicked in my head that Sarah was _not_ lying in the bed and that the window was wide open and there were distinct signs of a struggle- my brain exploded in panic.


	35. Chapter 35

Back to Sarah's POV

"Would you rather go to your parent's house or my place?"

"Neither, bring me back to Charlie's right now."

"I'm sorry, that's not an option."

"Well I'm sorry too because that's the only place I'll let you take me!"

"Please, Gaia, this is for your own good!"

"Let go of my hand!"

"I guess you should come back to mine, then, if this is the way you're going to behave..."

"I am not some child that you can patronise and manipulate!"

"Well if you stopped acting like a child then maybe I wouldn't have to treat you like one!"

I was standing on a random Romanian hill arguing with Raymond in the dead of night. This wasn't exactly how I had expected my evening to pan out.

He had appeared at Charlie's bedroom window a few hours after I heard everyone go to bed and I, stupidly, let him in. He had flown up to the third floor window on a broomstick and he tried to convince me that he was rescuing me. When I refused to come with him, he grabbed me. After a brief struggle in which he overpowered me easily he flew me away from the apartment complex and landed on a nearby hill where we could disapperate.

I had never realised before this whole experience how easy I was to kidnap...

We glared at each other for a few moments. Then, in pure desperation I started to shout Charlie's name at the top of lungs in the vain hope that some magical force would propel him towards me.

"CHARLIE!"

"What are you- shhh!"

"CHARLIE! CHARLIE WEASLEY!"

"GAIA!" Raymond tried to press his hand over my mouth but I squirmed away from him. I started to back away at some speed down the slope of the hill and he started to chase me. I was still shouting and he was still shushing me. I caught my foot and started to topple backwards but managed to get a hold of my arm and yank me upright again. I tried to pull away from his grip but he clung on tight, grasping my other hand, too, that had been clawing at his fingers.

"CHARLIE!"

"Shhhh!"

I struggled as hard as I could, pulling backwards away from him and he was forced to move with me but he angle me in such a way that I slammed up against a tree and he attempted to pin me there. I was still shouting and he was growing visibly more frustrated by this but he had no hands to stop me. He could only do one thing to shut me up – I saw it in his eyes when he made the split second decision.

He pressed his mouth against mine, and effectively swallowed my shouting. I was frozen in shock for a good three or four seconds as I realised that he had me pressed up against a tree and was kissing me intimately. When I finally regained the use of my facilities I gave an almighty shove and he was forced off of me and stumbled away a few steps.

There was a moment where we both just stared at each other in shock.

Then I exploded.

"What was that?!"

"I'm so sorry-" And he did look like he genuinely regretted his actions but I didn't care.

"You can't just go around kissing people! That's harassment! That's assault!" I was borderline hysterical out of surprise and indignation.

"Gaia, I'm sorry!"

"Sorry doesn't mean anything in a court of law!" My voice had jumped three or four decibels.

"Court of law- what are you talking about?"

"I'm not really sure! But that was not ok!"

"I know, I'm sorry, I promise it will never happen again!"

"Ok then!"

"I was just trying to get you to be quiet!"

"Well now I am!"

"You're still shouting!"

"No I'm n- No I'm not." I was still shouting the first few words but then I dropped my voice to a conversational volume.

"Can we talk about this?" Raymond looked at me anxiously.

"Talk about what? How you're going to bring me back to Charlie's _right now?_" The sky was beginning to brighten around us slowly. I reckoned Charlie would still be asleep for two or three more hours. I might even be able to get back before he noticed I was gone. I didn't want him to freak out, which I knew he would- or would he?

He made it quite clear that he had no interest in me if I turned out to be a death eater. Maybe he'll be glad that I'm gone so that he never has to find out and make a decision. Maybe he would prefer it if I never went back?

Surely not! But maybe...

"I'm not taking you back there, Gaia, it's not where you belong." Raymond was staring straight into my eyes and I was yet again struck by his beauty. Curse good looks...

I looked back at him. For the first time, I started to think that he might be right. Maybe I didn't belong there. Maybe I really was meant to go back with him and regain my memories and return to my old life...

I wished I knew what Gaia would have done. As Sarah, I wanted to go running back to Charlie and live a happy life in the Order. But Gaia would probably have chosen to go with Raymond... But I didn't know which one I was meant to be!

"Gaia, are you alright?"

"No," I shook my head. Suddenly, I slumped down the trunk of the tree until I was sitting at the base. "I don't know what to do." The words spilled out of my mouth.

"Well, I'm not going to bring you back, so you really only have one option – to come with me." Raymond crouched down in front of me and spoke tenderly.

I could see how Gaia fell for him. It would be quite easy for Sarah to fall for him, too, if she wasn't already devoted to Charlie. But then again, was Sarah even a real person? The easy answer to that would be no. She was a made up character. But Gaia was real. I was real when I was Gaia. So Gaia's love for Raymond must be real, too...

My emotions swirled around my head as I tried to make sense of what was real and what was not. I wasn't sure which set of emotions to believe because the Gaia part of was becoming stronger and more distinct as I learned more about her. I could relate to her. I could understand her. I could even be her, if I wanted. In fact, I already was.

Then, as the sun started to peak over the tree tops behind Raymond, the one thing I thought was impossible began to happen. I started to detach myself from Sarah and re-attach myself to the idea of Gaia.

"Raymond..."

"Yes?"

"Gaia would have chosen to go with you, wouldn't she?"

"I can honestly say with one hundred percent certainty that she would have, yes."

"Then I... I guess I can go with you, then. I think I should. I will."


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: It might be a little while before I can get the next update up, I have exams for the next two weeks so I'm _trying_ to get some work done but it's not going so well...

* * *

Raymond's home was a house in a line of terraced houses in the middle of London. It was tall and narrow looking from the outside and it wasn't very deep on the inside. A family of four would have found it cramped but for one person it was a perfect size.

The kitchen, living room and a small bathroom were situated on the ground floor. The second floor had two bedrooms and proper sized bathroom and the third floor was one big open space with comfy chairs and been bags and musical instruments and bookshelves and a big wireless radio.

After we had arrived, Raymond asked me if I wanted to change my clothes – I was wearing an old, raggedy pair of Bernard's pyjamas that fit me very poorly. When I agreed to change, he led me up the stairs into a large bedroom with a comfy-looking bed and an impressive mahogany wardrobe that didn't really fit in with the rest of the furniture around the room. As I looked at the massive wardrobe, a weird thought dropped into my head from nowhere.

"Your grandfather left you that in his will." I was surprised to hear the words coming out of my mouth and I was even more surprised to see Raymond nod.

"Yeah, that's righ- Wait. How did you know that if you don't have a memory?" He turned slowly on the spot so that his whole body was facing me.

"I- I don't know. I just knew. It just came to me when I looked at it."

We looked at each other for a long minute, both of us trying to figure out what that meant. I decided that it wasn't really a memory it was more a fact or a piece of information that was in my head, so it wasn't the kind of thing that I would have been forced to forget when my identity was wiped from my memory.

"Well anyway..." He moved over to the wardrobe and opened the door, gesturing for me to choose some robes from the selection on the right hand side. As I came closer to the robes, I realised that one half – the half on the left – were clearly men's robes, where as the section on the right had garments that were tailored around the torso in such a way that they had to be women's robes.

"Who did these belong to?" I asked Raymond.

"Er... You, actually." He said it with a small, awkward smile.

"Oh!" I looked at the robes again. I was surprised because they seemed so different to the kind of thing I thought I would have chosen. They were all made of a dark-coloured material – dark reds and dark greens and dark blues and deep blacks. This was in stark contrast with my lilac dress from the wedding which I had not actually chosen myself but I did love it, especially the light colour of it. Each robe also seemed to be either close-fitting or have a low neckline.

In the end I picked out a simple red one that seemed to be one of the least offensive. It looked like it would cover the majority of my cleavage and the waist line seemed to be loose enough. I looked pointedly at Raymond and waited for him to leave. It took him a few seconds to get the hint but then he hasted out of the room and pulled the door closed behind him.

Sighing, I slipped out of the pyjamas and into the red dress.

It felt... comfortably familiar. In fact, it felt very, very familiar.

I looked across the room to get a glimpse of my reflection in the frameless mirror that was propped against one wall. The dress suited me and flattered my figure. And the longer I looked, the more I recognised myself in the reflection.

The reflection of the room started to feel familiar also. The ornately carved grooves on the door of the wardrobe and the patches on the wall where the old paint had peeled off a little and the painting of some magical creature hanging over the bed...

All of sudden, I knew the girl that was staring back at me. There, reflected in the mirror, stood Gaia, I had no doubt about it. I knew her so acutely in that moment and yet- and yet-

I still could not recall any of her memories.

I felt like a character in one of those stories where people see themselves in an alternate universe through the mirror. I was still Sarah and I was still in this world, but I could _see_ Gaia reflected back at me.

Without thinking I stepped closer to the mirror, searching her face, trying to figure it out, trying to uncover her true personality and traits. But the second I moved, the image was gone. The lost-puppy expression on my face was so Sarah-like that Gaia melted away in an instant. I tried to make my features look neutral again but every time I managed to get my face composed it would be ruined by the vague searching-look in my eyes.

I sighed and turned away from the mirror at last. I picked up the discarded pyjamas, folded them and bent down to place them on the bottom of the wardrobe but my eye was caught by and open-topped box full of sheets of paper that was tucked into the back of the wooden vessel. The sheet nearest the top seemed to be a letter and it was signed 'With all my love – Gaia'.

I couldn't resist. I kneeled down on the floor in front of the wardrobe, pulled out the letter and read.

_Raymond,_

_I'm going to do it. I know you don't want me to but at this stage I don't have a choice. My family is asking me to help them and I can't just turn them away. I have a responsibility to my own flesh and blood and I intend to honour that responsibility. _

_I don't know when I will see or speak to you again, or if I will even recognise you when I do but I just want you to know that I do love you with all my heart and that will never change, no matter who I think I am. _

_Please don't be angry with me._

_With all my love,_

_Gaia_

I reread it. And reread and reread and reread it. There was a gentle knock at the door then, and Raymond stepped back into the room. Seeing him standing in that doorway was an image that I knew so well, that I had seen so often-

"Gaia?"

And it all came rushing back.


	37. Chapter 37

Like a crack in a damn, the memories trickled in slowly at first. Then, as the pressure mounted, they came faster and faster until they burst through the wall and flooded into the empty space. The place that had been so dry and clear just moments before was now gushing with rapid, debris-filled water, crashing over and covering all the remnants of the life that had preceded it on this stretch of land that it was now reclaiming.

I didn't know what I expected to feel like once I had been reunited with my Gaia memories but I didn't think it would feel like this - in other words, I didn't expect it to feel so... unchanged. I still felt like _me_, I just had a lot of new information in my head.

Except, no, that wasn't quite right. There were some differences.

I stood up automatically, the letter floating to the ground from my limp hand. Raymond looked at me perplexed and then slowly, very slowly, realisation dawned on his face. He was looking at me differently.

"Gaia...?" He asked tentatively.

I thought I knew what he had seen in me to make him realise what had happened. I felt like I was holding myself differently. I was much more... confident than Sarah had been. I had an inner self-assurance that made me stand a little straighter, hold my head a little higher.

"It's you, isn't it?" He stared me straight in the eye. A smile pulled the corners of my lips as all the feelings of love and longing that I had felt for him returned even stronger than they had been, if that was possible.

He lurched forward and wrapped his arms around me and I embraced him, breathing in his scent, recalling all the reasons that I loved him and wanted to be his wife.

"What happened, what made you-" he began but I cut in in my eagerness to answer.

"I don't know, the dress and the mirror and the letter, and then you came in-"

"And you're back, everything is back, you remember it all?"

"Yes, everything, it all just came back to me!"

"So, all of that muggle shit is forgotten and done with?" That pulled me up short.

My arms subconsciously slipped away from Raymond and hung by my side as I started to look back over my experience as a muggle.

For the first time in my life, I had been completely innocent. All through my childhood and teenage years I had watched as my parents allowed their criminal friends to hide out in our basement or hold secret meetings in our living room when I was in bed or plan attacks on unsuspecting muggles and wizards alike. I had never taken part in any of it – I hadn't been allowed to when I was younger and then as I grew older, I had no great interest in being involved. I made tea for visitors or I hand delivered messages and small things like that, if I was asked. So I wasn't _involved_ in it but I was still a part of it. I still knew.

Sarah, on the other hand... Sarah didn't know. She was so naive. She was shocked to hear the stories that Charlie had told her. She was devastated to think that human beings could do such horrible things to each other and she was repulsed to find out that she had been involved. She was just an innocent soul that got wrapped up in some unfortunate business that really had nothing to do with her. And Charlie Weasley hadn't even told her some of the nastiest details, he saw her fragility and protected her- me.

Charlie had protected _me_ because he saw me as something to protect. When I had been an innocent soul I was worth protecting. But then I ruined his perception of me by alluding to my participation in the atrocities that the death eaters had committed, and then all of a sudden, he wasn't sure if I was worth protecting anymore. And I understood. Because I was starting to agree.

And then I realised that seeing things from Sarah's perspective had changed the way I viewed the entire world and the way I viewed myself. I used to be able to justify the death eaters, I used to be able to relate, but now I wasn't so sure about it all.

I had a sudden urge to disapperate and seek out Charlie so I could look into his blue eyes and tell him that I wanted to be worthy of his protection, that I wanted to change for him and become someone he didn't have to be repulsed by.

But then the thought of leaving Raymond again was painful enough to keep me locked in position. I loved Raymond. I loved him. _I loved him_.

But I still loved Charlie, too.

"Um, where's my wand?" I asked, trying to distract myself.

"Oh, I actually have it here, funnily enough..." He walked over to a cabinet beside the bed and pulled open the bottom drawer. He produced from it a familiar strip of English oak, 12 and ¼ inches with what I knew to be a unicorn-hair core. I grinned widely as he handed it to me and the wood felt warm in my hand, as though it had missed me as much as I had missed it and it was rejoicing at our reunion.

Again, that urge to disaperate to Charlie's little flat in Romania almost overwhelmed me.

"Gaia, what's wrong?" Raymond must have seen my sudden change in expression as I fought off the urge. "You are happy to remember... aren't you?"

I realised another thing that Gaia did that Sarah did not. Gaia loved to tell the truth. She was a good liar, however and could lie at a moment's notice very convincingly, but whenever she could she would tell the truth – that must have been why Sarah was so apt at blurting out whatever was on her mind.

"No Raymond, I don't think I am happy about it. And I'm not sure how happy you're going to be when you hear what I have to say."

He just stared at me for what felt like hours. Just stared, aghast.

"Just say it." He finally whispered.

"I still love Charlie Weasley. And I need to go talk to him."

"I can't let you do that. I can't let you leave me again."

I was so torn. I felt obliged to stay with Raymond, he was my fiancé and I did love him dearly. I hated the fact that I was hurting him and when he asked me to stay with him I wanted to stay.

But I wanted to see Charlie, too. I needed to talk to Charlie and see if my love for him really was unchanged or if I was just echoing Sarah's feelings for him onto myself now out of habit. And I also needed to let him know that I was alright. I did disappear in the dead of night.

"Raymond, this is something I have to do. And I'm sorry, but you can't stop me."

I twisted on the spot and vanished into thin air.

* * *

A/N: For those of you who are interested, I have a little note about Gaia's wand. I actually created a Pottermore account for her so I could take the official wand test to see which wand she would have had. I answered all of the questions the way I feel Gaia (not Sarah, though they are very similar) would have answered them and the wand she received was Unicorn, 12 ¼ inches, english oak, supple. I have also included the notes that were written on the site about each feature and what they indicate about the character of the witch/wizard that they are paired with. I think it's quite appropriate for Gaia! Also, she was sorted into Slytherin house, Just if you were interested, but she didn't attend Hogwarts so it's not actually that relevant. But don't hold it against her!

English Oak:

A wand for good times and bad, this is a friend as loyal as the wizard who deserves it. Wands of English oak demand partners of strength, courage and fidelity. Less well-known is the propensity for owners of English oak wands to have powerful intuition, and, often, an affinity with the magic of the natural world, with the creatures and plants that are necessary to wizardkind for both magic and pleasure. The oak tree is called King of the Forest from the winter solstice up until the summer solstice, and its wood should only be collected during that time (holly becomes King as the days begin to shorten again, and so holly should only be gathered as the year wanes. This divide is believed to be the origin of the old superstition, "when his wand's oak and hers is holly, then to marry would be folly," a superstition that I have found baseless). It is said that Merlin's wand was of English oak (though his grave has never been found, so this cannot be proven).

Unicorn

Unicorn hair generally produces the most consistent magic, and is least subject to fluctuations and blockages. Wands with unicorn cores are generally the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. They are the most faithful of all wands, and usually remain strongly attached to their first owner, irrespective of whether he or she was an accomplished witch or wizard. Minor disadvantages of unicorn hair are that they do not make the most powerful wands (although the wand wood may compensate) and that they are prone to melancholy if seriously mishandled, meaning that the hair may 'die' and need replacing.

**Length & Flexibility**

Many wandmakers simply match the wand length to the size of the witch or wizard who will use it, but this is a crude measure, and fails to take into account many other, important considerations. In my experience, longer wands might suit taller wizards, but they tend to be drawn to bigger personalities, and those of a more spacious and dramatic style of magic. Neater wands favour more elegant and refined spell-casting. However, no single aspect of wand composition should be considered in isolation of all the others, and the type of wood, the core and the flexibility may either counterbalance or enhance the attributes of the wand's length.

Most wands will be in the range of between nine and fourteen inches. While I have sold extremely short wands (eight inches and under) and very long wands (over fifteen inches), these are exceptionally rare. In the latter case, a physical peculiarity demanded the excessive wand length. However, abnormally short wands usually select those in whose character something is lacking, rather than because they are physically undersized (many small witches and wizards are chosen by longer wands).

Wand flexibility or rigidity denotes the degree of adaptability and willingness to change possessed by the wand-and-owner pair - although, again, this factor ought not to be considered separately from the wand wood, core and length, nor of the owner's life experience and style of magic, all of which will combine to make the wand in question unique.


	38. Chapter 38

A/N: Sheesh, maybe I should do exams more often, it seems to be doing wonders for my desire to update this story! You should all be intensely grateful because I'm probably going to fail maths tomorrow morning because of this chapter! Feel free to express your gratitude in the review section ;P

* * *

I was standing in the hallway outside the front door of Charlie's apartment. I had been frozen in position for at least four or five minutes. It had suddenly struck me as I apperated into the hall that this could be the last time I ever saw Charlie ever again. It was highly possible that he could take one look at me and be so utterly repulsed that he shoves me out of his door and out of his life.

This thought of rejection was enough to make my heart throb in my chest and I was suddenly unsure if I still wanted to go through this.

Then, the thought occurred to me that he might take me back immediately, declaring his never ending love for me. And if that happened then what was I meant to do about Raymond? I loved them both – a lot. But did I love one more than the other? Maybe?

I really should have thought this through before I pissed off Raymond and disapperated out of the blue onto Charlie's doorstep as a completely different person...

As I stood there the door suddenly began to open. I wanted to run and hide in case it was Charlie. I had decided that I really wasn't ready for this conversation yet. But I was glued to the spot, just standing there like a fool.

Bernard's face appeared in the doorway. When He saw me he let out a shrill shriek like a woman who just saw a spider crawling across the floor. He pounced on me and enveloped me in a rib crushing hug. I had hardly been gone seven hours but he was very glad to see me.

"Sarah! I was so worried! Wait- have you been standing out here the _whole time?!_" He released me and held me at arm's length.

"No, no, I had to- uh, is Charlie home?"

"No," A weird mix of intense relief and bitter disappointment washed through my body. "He's out looking for you."

"Really?" I was a little surprised, and very flattered. "Where? Where does he think I'd be?"

"He mumbled something about London as he hastily dressed himself at three in the morning. I was sleeping, not paying much attention-" His voice trailed off as he noticed the dress I was wearing. I felt his eyes as they travelled down my figure and then up again, lingering on the cleavage area.

"Bernard! I will curse you!" His eyes glazed over and he looked confused.

"Curse... me... can muggles do that?"

"Look, it's very important that I speak to Charlie. Can we contact him somehow?"

"No, not really..." Bernard's eyebrows furrowed. "But you can wait here until he comes back?"

"Ok then," I stepped forward and he moved out of the way so I could enter the apartment. "Where is Remus?"

"No idea. I hadn't even noticed that he wasn't here,"

I threw a scathing look over my shoulder at Bernard but instantly regretted it – a feeling I would not have had before my dalliance as Sarah.

I sat down on the couch and waited.

And waited

And waited.

Hours had passed. Bernard had left for work. Stephen had made a brief appearance, informing me that he was glad to see that I was safe, then he, too, left for work. I was starting to get cold feet. More than once I had stood up intending to disapperate and come back another day but then I would force myself to sit back down. I was starting to think, however, that Raymond would reappear and kidnap me again if I didn't hurry up.

At last, late into the afternoon, Charlie apperated into the middle of the room with a dark expression on his face. He didn't notice me sitting there until I stood up. The movement caught his eye and he looked over. When he saw me he let out a strangled sigh and bounded forward and hugged me fiercely, though more tenderly than Bernard had. His smell filled my nose and the feel of his familiar shape pressed against mine was a comfort.

He held me for a long moment, then suddenly tensed up. He took a step back and drank in the sight of me standing there in a close fitting, velvet dress with a wand in my hand. He knew.

"You came back." He whispered the words across the short distance between us. I nodded calmly. Sarah would not have been able the handle this tension, but I could. And I knew it.

"I think we need to talk."

"I- I think so, too." Then, I got a rare glimpse of his vulnerability as a shot of deepest emotion flooded into his eyes as he tried to comprehend how this conversation might go. But then he composed himself and he turned into the same crappy Charlie that he had been before the wedding when he was so cold to me. I resisted the urge to blurt out the words 'I love you' just to make him feel better. I knew that if I did that now it would only make this conversation more difficult in the long run because I knew how it had to end. I had decided what I needed to do as I had waited.

"I'm not a death eater, if that helps?" I gave a hollow, false laugh that felt strange, but I was trying to lighten the atmosphere. Charlie echoed me with his own forced smile.

"It's nice to know, at least."

"For me, too," I nodded in agreement with him.

"So are you... with that Randall guy, then?"

"Raymond. And, uh, yeah. I am. For now at least." He bobbed his head in a peculiar nod and he pursed his lips.

"Do you want tea or anything?" He turned and walked into the kitchen area, picking up the kettle.

"No," I responded automatically, though as soon as I said it, I realised that a cup of tea was exactly what I needed. But this was not the moment. "I just want you to know, Charlie..."

"Stop." He spun around, flailing the half filled kettle. "If you're going to say something like 'I really enjoyed my time with you' then you can just-" it looked like it took a lot of effort for him to stop himself in the middle of that sentence, though the end of it was implied in the angry look in his eyes. I had a feeling he had wanted to say something that began with an 'f' and ended with 'uck off'.

"I just wanted to say that I'm still Sarah, kind of. And I still- you know, care. About you." He scoffed.

"Still Sarah? No, no you're different. You look different, you feel different, you _sound different._ It's your posture, or your vibe or something, but it's not Sarah. She would have," He started laughing humourlessly as he thought of her. "She would probably be in tears by now. She always seems to cry when we have serious conversations but you- you're cool as a cucumber you are."

I could feel the anger building up under his skin as he got into the groove. He seemed to be unintentionally channelling his emotions into vicious rage. And I was going to stand there and take, because I owed him that much. He slowly started to move closer, sloshing water as he gestured the kettle. I was suddenly acutely aware of his bulk. I was even a little bit afraid of him.

"Do you have any idea how scared I was to find your bed empty last night? I was out of my mind! No goodbye, no civil conversation about where we would stand after you regained your memory?! I loved you- Sarah, I Ioved Sarah, and I thought I was going to love you, too, by default, because you have her face and her hair and her voice. But I don't think I do. I don't think I _can_. You look like a freakin' _statue_ just standing there, say something!"

The back of my throat was stinging with the effort of not crying, but my eyes were mercifully clear. I was much better at controlling my tear ducts than Sarah.

"I'm sorry." My voice was uncharacteristically meek. It sounded like Sarah.

The hot air seemed to deflate out of Charlie then. He looked back to see a trail of small puddles. I waved my wand and the water zoomed back into the sink and down the drain. Charlie stared at my wand in shock. Then his shock turned into stony resignation. He sat slowly and deliberately down on the couch.

"What does that mean; you're with Raymond 'for now'?"

"It means that I'm going to live like Gaia for a while and see how it goes. But Sarah has had a... lasting impression. I don't know if I can just return to my way of life."

"What, mean you don't think you live a life of facilitating murder and condoning the torture of innocent bystanders?" He said scathingly.

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean."

He looked surprised, but quickly cleared his expression.

"I think you should go." He said abruptly, getting to his feet.

"Oh, ok. Sure." I didn't want to leave. I didn't want this to be goodbye. "I'll let you know how life as Gaia is going for me, then."

"No, don't. I don't want to know. Just go." He looked exhausted. He looked broken.

"Charlie-"

"I can't. Not anymore."

He didn't meet my eyes as he walked over to the door and held it open for me. I hesitated for a long second, trying to find an excuse to stay. Nothing came to mind. I was forced to walk out of the door and watch as Charlie Weasley shut me out.

I apperated almost instantly back into Raymond's bedroom. He wasn't in there.

A wave of intense misery hit my like a full speed train. I was only now beginning to process the words that he had said. He had shouted that he didn't think he could love me. He told me that he didn't want to hear from me. He thought I was too _different._

I fell in slow motion to my knees and leaned against the side of Raymond's bed as grief wrapped it's hand around my heart and squeezed.


	39. Chapter 39

Raymond found me crying on the floor not long after. He kneeled down beside me and gathered me in his arms, letting me sob into his shoulder. It was an intense comfort and yet it was also a bitter reminder of what I had just given up – Charlie would never hold me like this again.

I managed to cry myself to sleep in Raymond's arms, I was completely exhausted from the events of the day from the kidnapping early that morning to the sudden regaining of my memory to the emotional encounter with Charlie. I woke up in the dark on Raymond's bed. Night had fallen and I had slept right through to the early hours of the morning.

As I began to wake up slowly, I also started to feel the empty ache of my stomach. I hadn't eaten anything in over twenty four hours and I was absolutely ravenous. I stumbled downstairs and into the kitchen. My brain was still foggy from my restless sleep and I spent a full minute trying to put two slices of cheese in the toaster instead of the bread until Raymond appeared and sat me down in a chair.

"Are you hungry? I'll make something." He opened up the fridge and drummed his fingers against the door as he stared at the contents.

"Were you asleep? I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, no, I was upstairs listening to the radio and writing some letters. I don't usually go to bed until two or three in the morning." He pulled a carton of eggs out of the fridge and began cracking them into a bowl as a knife magically began chopping vegetables in the corner.

I didn't realise that Raymond was making me an omelette until all of the ingredients were in the pan. I wanted to laugh out loud and/or burst into hysterical tears, but luckily I didn't have the energy to do either – the first thing Charlie ever cooked for me was an omelette. He cooked it right after we kissed in the alleyway, and I remember eating it and being so very, very happy.

Raymond's omelette was a bit crap in comparison. But I ate it; partly because I was starving, partly because I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"Do you feel better?" He asked. He had sat down at the small kitchen table beside me and watched me eat. I might have cared about that if I wasn't feeling so lacklustre.

"Yeah, a little."

"I'm glad. You looked pretty rough earlier."

"I felt pretty rough. I still feel rough." I lay my head on the table and closed my eyes.

"You should go back to bed. Come on," Raymond assisted me back up the stairs and climbed under the covers with me. He kept one arm draped around my waist. We fell asleep like that.

I spent the next few days moping around Raymond's house, pining for Charlie. Raymond cooked for me and generally looked after me. We played wizard chess and listened to the Wizardling Wireless Network and I slept a lot. But I didn't cry again. I didn't let myself.

Eventually I decided that I was being ridiculous and that I needed to move on with my life. Charlie had made it quite clear that he didn't want me in his life anymore, but that wasn't the end of the world. I had a wonderful man who _did _love me and _did_ want me around. And I had family and friends who all loved me. And I was a young, healthy witch with buckets of potential. I could do whatever I wanted! I wasn't going to let a break up reduce me to a blubbering pile of human slime.

Raymond had been neglecting his death eater duties for the last while but that morning I insisted that he go. He had told me that The Dark Lord was insisting that groups of people patrol around areas where Harry Potter was likely to seek refuge. Raymond had been assigned to the house that Potter had been left by his dead godfather. I practically pushed Raymond out the front door with the promise that I would spend the day being a productive human being.

I started with cleaning Raymond's house. I went around every single room and scrubbed and vanished and polished away all the dirt and scattered cobwebs. It didn't take me very long because the house wasn't that dirty to begin with and I had magic at my disposal.

Then, I wrote letters. I wrote to old school friends that I hadn't seen in years, and I wrote to my old employer at the magical menagerie to see if I could get my job back. I had given it up so that I could do the whole muggle thing, but I had really enjoyed it working witht he animals and I wouldn't mind working there again.

I signed the bottom of the paper, sealed it into an envelope and added it to the pile that was building up in the corner of the table. I had already sent Raymond's owl out with a delivery and I was waiting for her to return so that I could send the rest of the letters. I had written to everyone that I could think of, but I still had a few sheets of parchment in front of me. I had taken them out of Raymond's desk up on the third floor.

I found myself writing another letter. My hand was practically moving of its own accord, forming letters of the page. I hadn't realised that I wanted to write this letter, but now that I was in the middle of it I felt a lot better for getting the words out.

_Dear Mr and Mrs Weasley, and Ginny and Ron and Hermione and Bill and Fleur and Remus,_

_I didn't really know what I was doing at the time and I definitely didn't know that what I was doing was going to hurt you. I really enjoyed my time with you all and I came to regard each of you as a friend. I would just like you to know that I am so very sorry for it all. I wish I had never agreed to it in the first place. I wish I had never met any of you, because then I could never have betrayed you all like this. I just hope you can forgive me, though I realise that this is a lot to expect. I am not a bad person, I know that now. I was only doing what I thought was right, but I can see now that it wasn't actually the right thing to do at all. _

_I love you all and I am sorry._

_Sarah_

And then I wrote another;

_Charlie_

_I am so so so so sorry that I hurt you. _

_Love from,_

_Gaia_

I reread the words of both letters over and over. Then I lay the quill down on the table and fished my wand out from a pocket in my robes. I ignited the tip and held it to the two letters and I let the parchment burn before my eyes, watching my words burn with it.


	40. Chapter 40

There was no evidence of my burnt letters left anywhere in the house by the time Raymond returned home. In fact, there was barely any evidence of anything. Not only had I washed and scrubbed almost every item in the building, I had even repainted some of the rooms and repaired areas on the carpets that looked worn and I had rearranged some furniture – I had even gone as far as swapping around our bedroom and the spare room. The spare room was a tiny bit smaller, but the sun set was framed so beautifully by the windows in there that I couldn't let it go to waste.

Raymond arrived home to a fresh house and a homemade meal sitting on the table. He was more than a little surprised.

"Well haven't you just been a flurry of activit- is that wall green?" Raymond stared at the single kitchen wall that was not partly obscured by appliances or countertops.

"It's called a feature wall. I thought it would add some drama."

"How dramatic does a kitchen need to be?"

I gave a hearty laugh that didn't sound quite as sincere as I had hoped. But Gaia had a really crappy, dry sort of laugh that she used very infrequently and I was trying to change that.

"Are you ok?" Raymond sat in one of the kitchen chairs and pulled me onto his lap.

"I'm fine! I bounded right back up and went to stand on the other side of the room. I leant against one of the counters and folded my arms. "I made risotto. Eat up!"

"Have you eaten already?" He asked as he picked up a fork and loaded it with the sticky rice in front of him.

"Oh! Uh, now that you mention it... No." I took a plate out of the cabinet and helped myself to a small portion of risotto.

"Are you feeling better? You're still acting a bit... off?"

"I'm fine, honestly." I took a mouthful of food, more to give myself something to do than because I was actually hungry. We ate in silence for a few minutes.

"I heard something interesting today..." Raymond said without looking up at me.

"Oh yeah?" I responded apprehensively. He took a moment to continue.

"A few things, actually. Firstly, Snape is the new Head of Hogwarts."

"Oh, that's good news! Now the Dark Lord will have control over the education system!" Even as I said it I knew it wasn't right. My stomach twisted a little as I imagined the look on Charlie's face if he could hear me.

"Yeah, great news. And you remember the Carrows? Brother and sister, look exactly alike, my dad invited them over for some Christmas drinks a few years ago and they never showed up?"

"Oh yeah, I vaguely remember...?"

"Yeah, they'll be teaching at Hogwarts, too. So that's extra good."

"Yeah..." I was pretty sure that Hermione and Ginny were going to be at Hogwarts next year. And I was pretty sure they wouldn't get on too well with the dear Carrows.

"And... and the Dark Lord knows you back." Raymond blurted out the words blunt as day.

I put down my fork. My appetite vanished. I had, of course, been expecting this for the last few days, but it was still difficult to hear. And I hoped that I might have had more than four days of uninhibited freedom.

"Right. I guess he'll want to see me, then?"

"Probably," Raymond still wasn't looking at me. We were both thinking the same thing. The Dark Lord was bound to use legilamency on me, there was no question of that. But the worrisome part was what he might see in my head.

We both knew that I was not over Charlie yet, as much as I pretended that I was - this was probably the extent of Raymond's concern. But he didn't know about the rest of the messed up things in my head that could potentially get me killed. Like the questionable thoughts I had been having about the motives of the death eaters. And the highly incriminating loyalty I felt towards the Order. And the odd affection I felt for a mudblood and a family of blood traitors...

"Do you know _when_ he might want to see me?" I asked in an impressively composed tone of voice.

"No, I have no idea. All I know is that someone told him you're back in the death eater sphere." He finally looked up and caught my eye. "Are you scared?"

"Why should I be? I haven't done anything wrong. I'm just going to tell him about my experience with the Order and have done with it." I lied cleanly.

"What about the Weasley guy?"

"What about him?" I stared coolly back at Raymond, challenging him to push the topic further. He didn't.

"I think I'm going to see my parents tomorrow." I changed the subject as I stood up and started clearing away the dishes.

"That's a good plan. Do you want me to come with you?" He came up behind me while I was at the sink and hugged me around the waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. It felt oddly intrusive for him to do that.

"No, don't worry about it. I think I can handle my own parents by myself." I magically mobilised the sponge and washing up liquid to wash the dishes for me and then the clean plates and cutlery soared back into their respective cupboards.

"Are _you_ scared?" I asked suddenly. I knew what the honest answer was, I just thought it would be interesting to see what he said.

"No, of course not! As you say, you didn't do anything wrong. You'll be fine." He squeezed my torso a little tighter. I wanted to ask him to stop but I couldn't think of a way of doing it without hurting his feelings and I didn't want to do that.

"We should go to bed," I said as the last fork found its way into its proper place.

"What, so early?" I felt him twist towards the clock. "Oh, I guess half eleven is late for you..." He let me go at last and I pecked him goodnight on the cheek but he pulled me back and gave me a proper kiss before he let me go up the stairs to bed.

I lay down on the mattress not even remotely tired, even after my long day of work. I had thoughts racing around my head making me dizzy. I was trying to figure out how to deal with this meeting with the Dark Lord and I was trying to figure out what to say to parents about my time with the Order...

The one thing I was trying _not_ to think about was my feelings towards Raymond, and why I felt so uncomfortable when he touched me.


End file.
